littleEDfamily

Blooming heck - I can barely feed myself while preggers, let alone two toddlers.

aleih - our posts crossed! What exactly did they say to you about the risks - what was it about your situation that made them supportive about giving it a go (assuming not too overdue)? Was it your first?

My midwife said that if the breech presentation is 'good' (ie they are bottom first, but with no dangling legs, and I think facing the right way), in consultation with the relevant specialists (who may be midwives, consultants or whomever has the most experience with that type of scenario - apparently in other countries breech is not necessarily regarded as a major complication, so esp at Kings there are specialists who are quite confident with it) you may have the option of trying it. I wince just at the thought of it.

In my mind attempting a natural delivery with a baby you knew was in a breech presentation was for sado-masochists only, but I hear there are people who are brave enough to give it a go. I am curious to hear any tales from women who have attempted (and succeeded) to birth a baby naturally from a breech position and also whether others feel like me that they just wouldn't have the guts to try it.

Are you suggesting I am somehow uncool in my reporting of (semi) celebs? This is a celeb spotting thread after all.... I would love to be able to report back on a higher quality of celeb, but Nelson Mandela I am led to believe had no immediate plans to visit to the area. I may grab a copy of Heat this week though... could be some other celeb types sifting about who I don't yet recognise... cate Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Kate Thornton ? Jo Brand, yada yada yada. Don't > forget your autograph books. This is London. > Lots of people who act and some that don't live > here. They have to live somewhere. Bet you all > read Heat/OK/Hello.

Good spotting this week and a half - goes without saying, James Nesbitt in Herne Hill, Kate thornton having her kids party at Dulwich Cafe (guy from Celeb Juice, Tamsin Outhwaite examples of other show type people in attendance). Jo Brand today making a right hand turn at Dulwich Library and getting beeped at by another driver whom she had displeased.....

How much money will you lose by withdrawing from Rosemead? Must be upwards of ?1500? It is a lot of cash but if you feel you will be genuinely happy with Heber, I think it's worth forfeiting, as it won't take long to make that money back. If there is a niggle in the back of your mind that you'd prefer Rosemead, perhaps better to just focus on cheaper wraparound care and try to manage the cost as best you can. The worst case scenario I guess has got to be losing all that cash and then deciding Heber isn't cutting the mustard. Can't be an easy one......

I'm with plimsoul. I was a bit disappointed it wasn't more 'blissful'. Found the fact that the only social interaction I had revolved around baby chat quite alienating and tedious (quite enjoy it now, as my love of this forum shows, but at the time, I remember thinking 'please can we just talk about something else, you crazy, dull women!!' (I had an 'easy' baby)). Missed the buzz of work. Quite lonely being at home alone for long periods of time with no one to talk to. But the absolute worst part was learning to live with the constant fear of being interrupted. I still struggle with it.

I'm going to be a bit contrary here and suggest that if it's your first baby, you won't have a great idea how easy the weight is going to be to get off. Mine came off easily (with breastfeeding), but others really really struggle - it just seems to be that different metabolisms react differently. Unless you are the kind of person that is happy with yourself at any weight, I would try to stay in the recommended limits. There is so much that will knock your self confidence post natally, I don't think it's helpful to also have a mountain of post baby weight to worry about shifting.

Was way too squeamish to do the whole perineal massage thing last time. I am now shameless - what do others think about perineal massage - worth the effort?

If chelle184 is the nanny I suspect she may be, from what I have seen of her on many occasions is that she is worth every penny!

Thanks for the reminder about music, Pickle. 'Magic FM' helped me through labour last time! Apparently the only time I spoke in the latter stages was to state the song and artist every time a new one started up... Dionne Warwick - 'Heartbreaker' was a particularly welcome soundtrack to that last gritty bit!

Glad someone else mentioned make up! Again, me showing my shallowness, but after floating around in a birth pool for 4 hours, as soon as our first baby was out, my first request was for my husband to brush my hair! After such an ordeal, a little mascara and lippy can't be a bad thing..... Fuschia - are there baths at hospital? Arnica - anyone know exactly how much and how soon you should start taking this?

In most jobs where employees are on a 'gross' contract, tax comes out of that figure at the appropriate rate of tax as well as employees' National Insurance. Employers pay additional NI on top of that. Some nannies are on net contracts (which most nanny payroll providers advise against as it means the employee gets no benefit from positive changes to taxation and the employer gets shafted by negative changes), which means their pay is fixed at that net rate. More commonly the negotiations happen in 'net' speak (so the nanny is basically negotiating a take home pay rate) and then the payroll provider grosses that up and that gross amount goes into the contract. It means there may be minor variations to net pay on a monthly basis and as regulations change. So a nanny you have negotiated a net rate of ?7.50per hour with would actually be costing you ?10 an hour. I do think a lot of nannies don't properly appreciate the actual cost of their employment, and I do think it is bizarre the constant talking in 'net' rates - fine for a casual babysitter, but not someone trying to be taken seriously as a professional! That all said, I agree that a nanny share does compare quite favourably with nursery, where rates for under twos go up to ?70 a day (but more commonly around ?50). I'm not a payroll specialist so don't take any of that as gospel, but hopefully fairly accurate!

Marscapone - I know what you mean about hungry straight after! I was ravenous, and despite them having chucked my husband out (being night time), I persuaded him to go and sneak me McDonalds (which I normally won't eat) from the Old Kent Rd. It was one of the best meals I have ever had and could not shove it in fast enough!!! I really hope we manage our homebirth. I am quite overwhelmed by all the planning to have a successful hospital stay!!!

I agree, Vickster - corporation tax is much lower than 40%, so it's frustrating that as a nanny's employer you carry all the obligations of an employer, yet because you are not a company and are taxed as an individual on your 'revenue' (ie your pay), and then out of this you need to pay tax again! Not very well explained, but I hope it makes some sense. It is unfair especially since you are providing employment, but as nannies are perceived as being 'for the super rich', I think it's unlikely that there would be broad enough support for any change to the tax set up.

Thanks so much for the lists - they do make less than glamourous reading don't they - 'old knickers', 'nipple cream'. I think I am going to go back to thinking about cool changing bags......

You don't really need a special bag, no, but change bags can be handy as they normally have more compartments, including some on the outside that fit bottles and other tut. They also come with a little matching change mat. Essentially the 'need' for a new change bag is a thinly veiled attempt to justify getting myself one, possibly two new bags.

I remember with our first getting a list from our NCT teacher of stuff you should have ready for a newborn baby (what to pack in your hospital bag etc). I am trying to get organised yet my mind has gone blank about what I need. Does anyone have a link to a good list or a copy they could attach?

If there are only 2 children in the share, and you don't offer unreasonable working conditions, I would perservere with trying to find someone who will work for ?10 net. They are out there! Like any private sector job market, supply and demand ultimately dictate pay rates, but my personal opinion is that any nanny earning upwards of ?12 net (I wish nannies would start to work like most sectors do with gross rates of pay) would need to be very experienced, possibly with decent early years education qualifications (a true professional, as opposed to what is, let's be honest, a relatively unskilled albeit responsible worker) etc etc, to justify such a rate.

Thanks so much, Forumites! I think I am going to go for the Skip Hop so that my husband can use it without feeling too ridiculous, and then subtly hint to various family members that I deserve one of the flasher, more 'grown up lady' ones - maybe a Lin and Leo.

I'm currently faced with one of the hardest decisions of my life: what changing bag to buy for new baby. I am after something that is a little bit chic, a little bit different yet still very functional (ie can use for all baby's needs as well as a bag for myself). Willing to pay a bit more than is strictly necessary, but nothing extorionate. Any recommendations?

I cannot speak highly enough of the all in one suits with the floats that you can gradually take out. When all the floats are in, it enables them to enjoy the water independently (in itself a huge step forward in learning to swim) and as long as they are old enough/ physically strong enough/ up for it enough, they barely seem to notice when you gradually remove them. On our holiday to Australia recently, our just-turned 3 year old went from all the floats to NO FLOATS in two weeks - ie swimming on her own! It was like a bloomin miracle. Granted we were swimming 2-3 times a day and she has regressed a little since coming back to London, but still we are amazed by the progress that little suit allowed her to make. She seemed to learn all the kicking stuff and paddling stuff she needed while in the suit, whereas armbands I think can be restrictive. So probably not the purist view, but it definitely worked for us!

bumpy Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > littleEDfamily - the agency is Adam & Eve and yes > the John Lewis marketing guy is an amazing client > - no I don't work for Adam & Eve or John Lewis but > we have worked for them on ad shoots. :) Clearly a person in the know, bumpy - got any good goss?! Actually I was in John Lewis yesterday, and I have to say, I love that place. I normally avoid the high street at all costs, but there is something very easy and comforting about that store. Their kids stuff is actually not too heinous (I know I shouldn't assume it would be), and they stock a few more 'niche' labels like Green Baby and Organics for Kids. Incidently, although I like the 'She's always a woman ad', it hadn't made me cry. But, I heard the original Billy Joel song on the radio the other morning and immediately blubbed! It's Billy Joel......'Just the way you are' has the same effect. Poor old, Gord, hopefully he'll be spending more time with his kids - didn't realise they were so young. Old Sam aint going to be getting much help from hubby.....I wouldn't be happy. PM or not, I'd be on the phone at 5pm saying - "Any idea of what time you may be leaving", shortly followed by getting in a grand old huff!

There's always the utterly rank 'Caliber'. I am going to try these interesting M&S things.... Oh to booze it up again. Did anyone read the article (in some paper about 6 months ago) saying that actually drinking while breastfeeding was potentially more dangerous than while pregnant - something to do with the fact that alcohol is metabolised in the liver and by the time it enters the bloodstream (and therefore can get cross to the placenta) it's not very potent. Ring a bell? I would love to re-read or get someone else's perspective on it. The article, more broadly, was about how if you look into it the advice about what you can't do while pregnant (soft cheeses, alcohol, toxoplasmosis) are grossly over-dramatised.