littleEDfamily

That's interesting, Smiler. I wonder if that has changed recently, as I am sure when I registered with them the plan would have been for them to stay with me in the event of a planned hospital birth. I guess it may be an adjustment to their service based on its popularity, but then again as we were hoping for a homebirth, we may not have properly explored the finer details of how it would work if we planned for hospital. To answer your 'are they good' question, OP - absolutely, and, as well as my main midwife, I met 5 more of them (including 2 student midwives), and I would have been happy to have any of them deliver me. As it happens, I didn't get my main midwife for the big event, but couldn't have been happier with the back ups. Am I right in thinking if you plan a homebirth and subsequently need to transfer to hospital for whatever reason, they would then stay on to deliver the baby?

With second babies (based on stories I hear and my own experience) it seems they are prone to coming only when mum is all organised and ready. I was determined to give birth on a Friday, at night and lo and behold I did. Baked some date scones, waited for hubby to get home and put Sprog 1 to bed, and what do you know, 10 min later went into labour. Spooky. Anyone else had that sort of experience?

Yep - I reckon chop it in half for the second one. The analogy of which I have grown fond is that the first is like a marathon, and the second like a 10k run. Both painful (second maybe even more so?), but at least over quicker. First was born in the water, second on 'land', so I think maybe the water helped the pain, but slowed things down a bit. I'm amazed at the speed of some of you ladies' births! Wow! Nappy Lady - mad how non-grossed out you are by birth! Expelling an organ (ie the placenta) is one of the foulest things ever!! I was quite stunned by the mess after the birth (seems worse if it's in your own home?) - the fact the waters only broke a few minutes before she came out didn't help matters. Uggh. Our bodies may be amazing, but their aint no getting past the gore of the whole process.

Fuschia - took your advice today and tried to stick to 3 hour feeds and seems to have worked well. No crying windy baby in the late afternoon, which we had for a couple of days before, and I no longer look like Jordan. What I meant by cluster feeding was that she would wake after a long nap, say 5 hours, ravenous and then prob have 3 feeds in an hour (2 and a half boobs, although I never know how to tell when a boob is empty - anyone got any advice for knowing when the tank is dry?). We have no worries about bubs thriving (she's chubbing up nicely!) or jaundice, just rather needing to tweak the routine so I'm not overflowing with milk and bubs is able to digest the milk she is getting more easily. I think I was definitely overfeeding with 'poor' quality milk at too infrequent intervals. Feeling optimistic (I do like a bit of a routine, I do) - thanks again for the advice all. Newborns really are the cutest, and so much easier to really enjoy the second time around.

Mine is very greedy, so no issues with weight gain, but I think when she sleeps, she is sleeping for too long (4-5 hours, maybe even up to 6), then waking and guzzling too much milk (cluster feeding I think they call it), which then makes her windy (I think too much volume in a short space of time for her wee stomach to process), and then it's hard to get her back to sleep because she is uncomfortable. And then because it's taking her longer to get back to sleep, she is then super tired by the time she does sleep and then sleeps longer, hence starting the cycle over again! Phew. It was quite exhausting to type that. i think I am going to try and stop her sleeping for much longer than 3 hours. More frequent feeds I think. Also may help sort out my massively engorged bazookas! Thanks forumites!

Cheers - How much at a stretch?

Parenting books tend to freak me out so this time am giving them a wide berth, but would appreciate a reminder about roughly how much and when a 2 week old should be sleeping....thanks!

Firstly, thanks for the congrats, Pickle and SB. Neilly1973, the Lanes are not just for homebirths. Apparently around 30% of their babies are born at home, 30% normal hospital birth and around 30% births with some intervention (at hospital). Stick with the Lanes - you'll have all the options you need.

Oh bless your daughter, K. Hopefully this birth will sort out her squeamishness. I was a real woosbag about internals, doctors, dentist etc until I had my first. I wanted to give birth with my knickers on! Two sprogs later, I am now totally blase about it all, as nothing remotely compares to the intensity (and total loss of dignity) of giving birth. Incidentally, I recommend the gas and air for delivering the placenta. It's pretty gross, so nice to be slightly off your chops while that happens :-) It does seem not to agree with everyone, but I always have a giggle on it!

Hmmmm.... sorry trinity, wasn't meaning to sound insensitive. The midwife did say that if your cervix is in a certain position it can be quite uncomfortable (mine obv wasn't!) Kalamiphile - you may be interested to know that the midwives sometimes offer to do sweeps during established labour to keep things moving forward.

My friend had gas and air with her sweeps, but I don't think it is needed, personally. If you can't get through a sweep without pain relief, you haven't got a hope of even getting through early labour without drugs. Obviously, if you are a drugs all the way type of person, then by all means get the gas and air for the sweep!! new mother Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Is there any pain relief given/ recommended? If > not, why not?

Worked for me - went into labour about 10 hours after. not painful and only slightly uncomfortable, but it depends on position of cervix as to how much the midwife needs to push things about.

I agree with gwod wholeheartedly. The adjustment to having children does not happen in the first few months - I reckon it takes a good 2-3 years to get really comfortable with the kind of mother you are, figure out the work vs not work thing and generally, as gwod says, recalibrate. In the meantime, it's entirely possible that you end up suffering from some bouts of depression along the way. I definitely did. Or rather I just felt I was losing the plot (is it the same thing - who knows?). Although I never ended up seeing anyone, I probably could have got through those rough periods faster had I had some help. I did a dissertation on career/ family attitudes of women, and the research indicates that no matter how far the feminist cause has advanced us and how much male/ female roles and attitudes have changed, for most women, after having children they identify more strongly with their domestic role than their professional role (the inverse is true for the vast majority of men). So it makes sense that when the traditional roles are reversed, it is likely to produce considerable anxiety for both parties (obv there are exceptions) and the need to work harder to find the right balance for all parties (baby included). Good luck - you will find your path! gwod Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Prior to having my children, I had clear > expectations of how I would raise them and of my > career path, but you are never prepared for how > you will feel about your self and your babies > until they arrive, and the reality is so > different. For me a period of life recalibration > became necessary. Finding that having/doing it all > makes us miserable can be a sign that we have to > prioritise and just do the things which are > absolutely necessary to our happiness. > > I wonder if you and your husband should talking to > someone to help you work out a work/life balance > that suits you all, and helps you express your > expectations (of your selves and of your partner) > to each other. Potentially this could be a > fantastic turning point in your life where you > both get to take control of your destinies and get > the lives you want for your whole family- its the > figuring out what you want thats the hard bit! > > Best of luck, you sound smart and loving - find a > way to get some more sleep you'll have all the > tools you need to work your way through this.

Not to mention if you cover the boob, you cover the baby. How would you feel about having to eat dinner with a towel over your head!???

aahh yes, late night love... gotta love a power ballade!

We're definitely gritty and urban. Not to mention very cool, trendy and inspiring to others on the grounds of our postcode alone.

Failing technology - the bain of my life. We did the playlist using Spotify on my Mac (so totally free!!). I am 'down' with the kids you see.....

There aint no shame in it, snowboarder, no shame at all.

Just wanted to announce that I DID listen to my playlist through my entire labour, and can highly recommend good tunes as a coping means. In fact, I was in second stage and still managed to chuckle out loud when 'I see you baby (shaking that ass)' by Groove Armada and 'Hey Mama' by the Black Eyed Peas came on. And Mazzy Star was excellent for maintaining calm in the face of extreme pain. Aaah, the wonder of music.

I literally had two sips yesterday and, after months of abstinence, felt affected!!! Two bottles is outrageous - I'd probably give myself alcohol poisoning my tolerance is so low nowadays, not to mention I don't think you'd be fit to care for a young baby aftre drinking that much. But on a more serious note, did anyone else read the article about a year ago saying that most of the advice about what not to eat and drink while pregnant is generally overly cautious, but that people should have some (not much though) concern about boozing while breastfeeding......? I am going to try and find it.....

We're leaving too :-( and I cannot describe how sad I am to leave this place, but in the end, we've decided to trade the wonderful things everyone has mentioned above for space. I love entertaining and having people to stay - with kids the ultimate in socialising to me is having friends with kids around for dinner, putting the sprogs to bed and getting sloshed. We've never been able to do that in our bijoux ED house. And I want my kids to be able to chill at home with their friends as they get older (without getting in my way!) If you can cope with a smallish house, I can't see why (other than wanting to live somewhere safer or being dissatified with the quality of schools on offer) you would ever leave ED. For the record SB, I am not a fan of West Wickham.....racking my brains trying to think of other non-country locations for you to consider...I tend to think with London you're best to be 'in' (ie zone 2 or 1) or 'out' (rural/semi rural).

I'm known for being boy phobic - I come from a family of lots of girls, and my Dad (who was very happy to have 2 girls) always said that he was irritated by boys, so I grew up being a bit intolerant of young lads and continue to be so. I can therefore completely relate to anxiety about having boys. We have our two girls, which we are delighted with, but just a small part of me is curious to know what being mum to a boy would have been like - I do not know one mother of boys who is not absolutely enthralled by them, and I have no doubt that your boy will bring you joy and happiness you could never have expected. And (I have to say it), at least you have your girl already so you won't miss out on that mother/daughter special relationship. Don't fret, it will all be wonderful - you have plenty of time to prepare yourself, and you're doing the right thing by being honest about your feelings.

Yep - she's here! And I just cannot thank my lucky stars enough that I was able to have her in ED with the great services available here - if you get in early enough that is. Incidentally, I rang DMC to register with the Lanes literally the same day I found out I was pregnant (4 weeks 1 day) and they offered me an appt with a midwife a day or so later to (as I recall) 'book in'.

Just to add a vote of confidence for the Lanes, who just delivered our second baby. What a different experience from rocking up at Kings and getting a random midwife, and then having even more random midwives visit afterwards. The service really comes into its own in the latter stages of pregnancy. In the early stages, for any scares, you really do need to rely on Kings directly. Absolutely lovely ladies, who know their stuff and allowed us to have the kind of birth we wanted at home. And luckily baby was compliant! Highly recommended.

PS where I come from 'secondary school' goes from 11 - 17/18 years. Noted from one of the other posts the term may be used differently here. Will I ever integrate properly!????