littleEDfamily

Oh, just noticed berryberry posted her response to the board as well as PMing me. Not sure why the double....

Jamma - I'm not suggesting this thread is comedy gold or anything, but I think you'll find a lot of very funny comedy comes from potentially dark subjects. The fact is we are bringing up our families in times where gender roles have had a huge, in my opinion, very welcome shake up. Times of change breed conflict, and having a giggle about it is a perfectly reasonable way to cope with the ups and downs. It's all about context - for most of us, there is absolutely nothing malicious in our comments, so although you're clearly entitled to your opinion I think you finding it depressing is a little on the over-sensitive side.

sb - good point - like you my parents regularly jetted off without us and had a very very happy marriage. I do think sometimes we need to get a little less sentimental about our little ones and embrace opportunities to do wonderful things with the men in our lives. (off I go for a little sniff around expedia.....)

Ok - contentious theory to put out there, but women have had many many moons evolving as domestic, nurturing beings, whereas by contrast, men and domesticity has been largely a development of the last 30 years (a nanosecond in evolutionary terms). Clearly, learned behaviours can and do trump elements in our genetic make up, but it does make sense that men are at a fundamental disadvantage when it comes to childcare and running a house. Doesn't mean I won't make fun of them for it, though!;-) Or that I am personally very good at keeping house! Ann - you sound like such a lovely women, but you've definitely spoilt the men in your house rotten!

I am convinced your baby would suffer no emotional damage as a result of you going. As others have said, it's much more about how you feel about it and whether the fun of the trip would make up for the anxiety you are almost certain to feel. For me though, that would be too far away to be for too long at such a young age. But it does sound like a wonderful experience you'd be missing out on.....

After me being all smug a couple of days ago after demanding my husband pick up night duty, I have had my comeuppance (sp?). His disturbed night's sleep has led to not one, but two days of chronic stomach upset. And I have therefore had to put up with his miserable self mooching about, handing me the baby for frequent and sudden bathroom trips. It is rank. He is clearly not man enough for this domestic lark.

OMG - I actually agree with Keef! There is a first time for everything. Please, can we all get back to the affectionate man-bashing now!??? I have a lot more material....

I know for a fact my husband would rather I indulged in a spot of affectionate husband bashing on the ED Forum than try to sit him down and have a serious conversation. Whenever I attempt the latter, I see the fear in his eyes, followed shortly by glazed disengagement!

I am so sick of being woken up to be told baby wants feeding that last night I put screaming 6 month old in the bed with him and hot footed off to spend the night with nearly 4 year old. Not sure what he did with her, but baby was asleep around 4am when I got chucked out of big girl's bed You gotta take a stand with these men. They need to learn.

Expressed milk is more precious than gold. I feel for you....

Prawn cocktail: vom vom vom. There is something very very wrong about mayo and tomato sauce. Am very tempted to try the cured salmon suggestion....

This is my kind of thread... keep the suggestions coming! PS the only kind of starter I need is an aperatif - this year prosecco with rose syrup. Seasons bloomin greetings!!!

paperina - I am struggling too with older child's routine not complementing baby's. But it our morning drop off tat cuts across my ideal morning nap time. Could you allow her to have a small nap only in the buggy and then wake up by whatever means possible, and then try her in cot a bit after you get home. Bit of a long shot, but you may still get 1.5 hours out of her. My baby falls asleep in car on way back from school at about 9am - wakes up as soon as I take her out of carseat, so no more than a 10-15min nap. I then try and tire her out til about 10am and try and get a cot sleep out of her then. Works some of the time!

SR -thanks for that link. The suggestions are fabulous!

paperina.. I am facing a very similar dilemma and can strongly identify with your concerns. The difference is I work from home, so my dilemma is really whether to scale up again (so that I need a nanny or similar to help) or whether I should just plod along, economise and try to enjoy my little ones (and not go completely insane on the bad days). For now, I am holding myself back. I think I was too hasty to get back to work with my first and I don't want to have the same regrets twice. There is something very poignant about having your last baby. I don't know about your personal circusmtances, but it does seem being up ?250 a month means the financial incentive isn't significant. I believe more and more in the importance of that mother / child closeness (including lots and lots of time together) in the early months - up to a year really, so as long as you don't believe this job is a once in a lifetime opportunity that won't be there in 6 months, maybe you should let it go? Are fewer days an option?

I 'decided' our second would come on a Friday night while her big sister slept upstairs. And believe it or not, she did. But... in case my plans were scuppered, I asked a very good old old male friend who lived around the corner to be on standby. He explained to his bemused boss that he may be required for 'in labour' babysitting, and therefore could he potentially 'work from home'. I think he and his boss were quite disappointed I didn't need him in the end. Agree with whomever said have lots of options!!

I thought I was the only one! I am a human dummy! Our 5 month old wakes anytime from 10pm to 4am and from then on it's in our bed for an all night graze. Don't have the strength to deal with it right now (working on the day time naps at the moment and getting her to fall asleep in her cot -both going well). Weaning off boob during night is my next challenge..... One tip, during the night, if I can't get comfortable (due to small baby being attached to me), once I have had enough, I leap over my hubby so he is next to her. She normally lets out a wee cry of complaint, but once I am further away and she can smell man rather than milk, she often goes back to sleep... With my first, I would have been mortified that I had 'fallen into these traps', but I do think some going with the flow is required. I am telling myself that she won't be doing this at 2 years, or even probably at 9 months, so what the 'eck!

???? - why do you think I said I always wanted a brother :-)

Just purchased one on ebay.... cheers! But what I really want is a Kwaziiiiiiii doll... apparently these are coming...

thanks snss75 - been looking at the site - totally bogged down by choice, if I am honest. How on earth do you narrow down the criteria? What we really want is someone with a happy easy going temperament and good work ethic. So hard to figure out whether the potential au pairs have this. I couldn't cope with a drame queen!!!

I don't see what is stressful about Christmas (really, honestly, not being facetious). It's so easy with online shopping, and as long as you don't bog yourself down with silly pointless stuff like Christmas cards and buying pressies for every man and his dog, the planning (especially festive cocktails, which you WILL be able to have next year) is a joy. That said, every time I have been to the US, I have lost weight due to being revolted by the food on offer, but, perhaps that's because I was a tourist and not in the know....

What agency did you use? I've been thinking about us having an au pair(no longer living in ED though :-(), as I would love the company of another adult in the evenings(albeit one significantly younger), could do with the help and love the aspect of adding a foreign dimension to the home. I'd also love to hear from others about how they've found it...

Surely it would depend on what is outlined in their terms. I would think that unless the contract you have with them stipulates that in the event of extreme weather / unforeseen circumstances (or whatever umbrella term they may use to cover such events when the nursery may be unable to open) you will not be eligible for a refund on fees, it's probably not lawful for them to charge you for a service they are unable to provide. If there is nothing in the terms you signed up to covering this type of thing, I would suggest you would have good case for not paying.

ljs, I would deffo be up for some Octo-action from NYC. Keep us posted! They've definitely hit on something special with Octonauts, and from a parents' perspective, NOT NEARLY as annoying as most of the kids' programmes out there, and the illustrations are quite beautiful. Would even make cute wall prints. I have been printing off colouring in pics from here: http://www.octonauts.com/goodies.html To the Octopod!

I think my daughter actually has some sort of weird crush on Kwazii, the ginger cat pirate! Made of gold or not, I am going to snap a book up. Thanks for the tip.