rifleman harris

I went to the doctors the other day and he told me to go behind the screen and get undressed. I did this and I called out "Where shall I put my clothes" and he replied "Over there on top of mine"!:-$

Talk Talk -Live at Montreux 1986!

Tarot Is it used for Drug dealing? Where do you get this info from?

Good looking, cheeky, likes a drink (a bit too much)? Hey thats sounds like me!!! Can I be mythical and great???B)

I'd rather have had Ralph Coates in my side. Now there WAS a legend!!! RIP Coatesy!!!

She's in the kitchen where she belongs

I took my dad to see them at Catford last year for his birthday. We had a smashing time. It was a great party atmosphere and they are great entertainers. I wish them all the best for the future. Cum on yoo spuuurs!!!!

Southwark council are excellent at collecting rubbish. Only the other day I rang them to collect a fox's head which I had in my freezer. Can't remember how it got there but I vaguely remember walking through Nunhead drunk last week...............anyway had to get rid of it because i couldn't fit the choc-ices in.

What the fuck are you staring at?

Santerme, my wife was 5 in 1963 and went to DKH as well. She used to play on the bomb ruins as well. She lived in Ivanhoe road. Maybe you knew her?

Torn by Natalie Imbruglia and all songs sung by Robbie Williams.

What do you call it when you desperately need to pee and want to use a McDonald's just for the toilet and you explain to a member of staff that you will purchase food when you come out but of course have no intention of doing so? McPiss with lies!

I was cycling home yesterday and saw an asian man with a clipboard in the street behind ours. I warned the wife and told her that id read on this forum about the Npower man and warned that this may be him (we're just up from bessemer school SE5). My wife said "dont worry i know how to deal with these people". Sure enough 15 minutes later he rang at our door. My wife answered and said politely that we do not want to switch power. He started to remonstrate and as my wife shut the door he stuck his hand in the way to stop her from shutting it. My wife pushed his hand out and shut the door. At this point he started to hammer on the door. I went out and in no uncertain terms told him to get lost. He went next door and started to harass my next door neighbour who is a widow in her 60's. My wife went out into our garden and yelled at him to leave her alone as she was clearly not interested. He went away at this point. In my opinion we should not have to put up with this sort of tretment and indeed i would welcome it if it was made illegal to try to sell door to door

I was cycling home yesterday and saw an asian man with a clipboard in the street behind ours. I warned the wife and told her that id read on tis forum about the Npower man and warned that this may be in (we're just up from bessemer school SE5). My wife said "dont worry i know how to deal with these people". Sure enough 15 minutes later he rang at our door. My wife answered and said politely that we do not want to switch power. He started to remonstrate and as my wife shut the door he stuck his hand in the way to stop her from shutting it. My wife pushed his hand out and shut the door. At this point he started to hammer on the door. I went out and in no uncertain terms told him to get lost. He went next door and started to harass my next door neighbour who is a widow in her 60's. My wife went out into our garden and yelled at him to leave her alone as she was clearly not interested. He went away at this point. In my opinion we should not have to put up with this sort of tretment and indeed i would welcome it if it was made illegal to try to sell door to door

Aah thank &@$?" for that!

I would like to see a shop that sells trinkets and crappy tat for exhorbitant prices. We dont have any of those in East Dulwich do we? By the Way: Did anybody see that broken down kitchen unit outside ED along North X road being advertise for ?245? Somebody actually bought it!!!!!!

Maybe you should say "Oh you poor thing, I'll drive you there" Get your car keys and walk towards your car. See what she does then. If you dont have a car grab any keys and walk to whatever cars parked outside.

Am I allowed to swear on this forum?

I fucking hate door to door salesman

The Jags guy?? Oh boy do i know him. Im a member there and ive been had a number of run-ins with him. I cycled in once and the main gate was open. I cycled in and he chased after me yelling "Excuse me! Excuse me". When he caught up with me at the bike park i got "You shouldnt do that its dangerous" and muttered something about insurance. I remonstrated with him and asked him how steering a bike that is less then a metre wide at the handlebars through a gap thats about 12ft wide be dangerous?? Then I once parked my car that wasn't quite straight in the bay basically because the car in the next bay was not parked exactly straight. I got the usual "Excuse me! Excuse me!" and a mouthful that included him muttering about insurance again. I once overheard an argument with a couple of guys who were playing football on the astroturf and the manager. They were complaining that he had been rude to them. The Dulwich Hamlet guy? Blimey he still around? I remember about 20 years ago going to watch Hamlet (anything to get away from the mrs) and he was there then.

Just joking ;-)

I would have substituted Helen Mirren with Stevie Nicks myself.

In Rogers Profanisaurus the entry for Yummy Mummy is as follows:- 1. n. A middle aged woman worthy of a good seeing to, eg. Helen Mirren. 2. n. A young mother with a fantastic arse pushing a buggy.

I smelt it in Carshalton on Saturday night. Isn't it the Germans and their pig shit spreading?

People who go to the theatre only go there because they can't afford a telly.