As mummy to a premie baby born at 30 weeks (and the early arrival very much a surprise) my advice on what help you can offer would be along the lines of - continue to be a good friend! (by being worried about what you can do sounds like you are already somebody worth having around!) - offer lifts to hospital (esp if she had a section and can't drive) or to be a hospital buddy if you have time to spend with her. Long days in hospital and it's nice to have someone to share it with & just to be there & be a support esp if her other half might have to go back to work at some point - drop them in a couple of dinners. Last thing you want to do after a 12 hr day at the babies bedside is make dinner & she will need to keep her strength up for when they get home! - might be some stuff you can get for her or the babies (premie nappies, babygros etc) In terms of what to say / not to say, we found that we had no idea what to expect ourselves from the whole experience and really didn't mind if people asked us questions about it all - as long as they are not negative based questions,i.e. try to keep them positive about what are the next steps / milestones for them to reach, did they get to touch/cuddle them today etc. The neo natal units and all the staff at them are amazing, hope all works out well for your friend and both babies. You wouldn't even know ours was a premie baby now, she's a bouncing cheeky, pudgy & very happy little 11month old now!