ClaireinSE22

She's certainly captured my mood after this weekend and I'm not even a stay-at-home Mum! TFI it's Monday tommorrow and I can go back to work.....

A bit of local history is briefly on show at this site, as you can currently see the old name sign for Charrington's bears from when it was the Albion stores, as well as some lovely etched glass which presumably will be covered up again soon or taken out (but I do hope not).

Hi Mima, And like natural phenomena I think tantrums are sometimes inevitable AND nothing to do with your parenting. IMO at 17 months your child is pretty much still a baby and the boundary setting stuff is lost on him. I firm 'no' might work but 'if you do this...this will happen' is too much for him at the moment. My best tips to avoid melt downs are avoiding hunger and tiredness and get online to do your shop!

Oh no Duchess - they still have the bloody awful skills books, pages and pages of them - Practice Assessment Documents or PADs is the current nomenclature. Minimac - shifts are a nightmare with small children coz they screw up your sleep pattern even more......I do mental health nursing, which has 8 hour shifts instead of 12hrs (because we believe in promoting mental wellbeing!) but there are still night shifts and late shifts that finish at 9pm and early shifts that start at 7am. That might sound awful but I see my son more working shifts than I would doing 9-5. BUT let's not forget that some nursing posts are in the community so you can do 9-5! My childcare arrangements are a constant juggling act between Grandmas, nursery and husband - but I think that's true of lots of working parents and if your husband can do pick-ups and drop-offs then you're sorted. I think all awards are means tested now - they have scrapped that degree/diploma distinction in terms of the bursary. Which makes so much sense, why oh why didn't they do it sooner? This is for the NHS bursary calculator so you can see how much you might get; http://www.ppa.org.uk/StudentBursariesCalculator/reset.do

Hi Lola, I started my nursing training in Sept 08, fell pregnant (after over 2 years of trying - in case anyone feels inclined to question my timing!), had baby in Oct 2009, took a year off and then completed the course in 2010 when my little boy was 1yr old. It costs nothing to train - if you get on a pre-registration nursing course the NHS pays your fees and, yes, there is a childcare award available depending on your household income. You choose the childcare - so long as it is OFSTED registered, the NHS Business Services Authority pays you the money directly and then you pay the childcare provider. Hope this helps - feel free to PM me. Claire

I rang Lambeth council yesterday and they said it would be on for the Jubilee weekend....

Dear Minder and Fuschia, When some of us met with Renata yesterday, she did assure us that whichever children's centre runs the club, they would be maintaining the existing opening hours and only using the building for their own purposes in the mornings and evenings i.e. whenever club not running. Anyhooo - we don't know if they will go for it - so we MAY still have a big fight on our hands to keep the club going. Watch this space.

Hi Helen, I heard from another Mum who met with Renata that Southwark would fund training for parents in first aid and cover the cost of CRB checks. But I agree that it would be a big commitment from a number of individuals and yourself aside (well done for being so public spirited!) I just don't know of anyone else who has expressed an interest in doing this. Maybe Renata, some Mums/Dads have approached you about running the club? but of the parent's I've spoken to about this (admittedly, just people I know - not a massive public consultation!) I've not found anyone who could manage it. I'm really gonna struggle to get to this one off meeting - let alone making a regular commitment to helping run the club.

Some parents may have heard that the Peckham Rye One O'Clock club has lost its funding from April next year - or at least it seems the staff budget has been cut, which means that the service will close unless the local childrens' centres can be persuaded to staff it. It has also been suggested that local parents could run the service - I'm pretty dubious about this because I don't think that parents of young children have the time but far be it for me to say what other parents might be up for! Although these options for keeping it open are still being explored, I don't think we can afford to be complacent and concerned parents should contact their local councillors to express their support for this service. I've attached a letter that I sent myself which can be used as a template - in case that helps anyone pushed for time. You can contact your councillor via email [email protected] or c/o Members' Room, 160 Tooley St, SE1 2QH - councillors names follow below. We'll also be getting a petition together in the near future - so watch this space and please get in touch if you can help distribute it or have any other ideas for helping to guarantee the future of the One O-Clock club at Peckham Rye. EAST DULWICH James Barber Jonathan Mitchell Rosie Shimell NUNHEAD Sunil Copra Fiona Colley Althea Smith PECKHAM RYE Gavin Edwards Renata Hamvas Victoria Mills THE LANE Nick Dolezal Mark Glover

Renata - that's great news - I'm so pleased to hear that the service will continue in some form - children's centres are Sure Start centres? I assume that there would still be open sessions with the same regularity as presently? I'd vote for an evening meeting - anywhere local would suit. Many thanks.

Son currently peep-po crazy so Toddler Tom does it for us. But goes really bananas for the shapes song from Mister Maker - go figure! Personally, I get great pleasure from PC Plum's song in Balamory - is wonderfully camp from the first and then plain hilarious when he emerges from Miss Hoolie's house having stolen her handbag singing, "I've found your handbag"

Rahrahrah - there is a thread in the Family Room headed 'Renata if you're reading...One o'Clock' which I found very interesting on the subject of THAT new playground and the gravity defying water feature - if you search One O'Clock club it should come up. But let's not get off topic.....what we want to know is whether the One O'Clock Club is really under threat of closure i.e. permanent closure - as I believe there was some talk last year of it being closed in the short term whilst building work takes place in that area of the park (including replacing existing One O'Clock Club hut).

Dear James, Can you comment on the rumour that the Peckham Rye One O'Clock club is under threat of closure? Kind regards, Claire

Not exactly,....the new play area has actually reduced the space available to the One O'Clock Club - besides, not sure that Southwark, like so many local authorities, are known for their forward planning! Donna, I'd like to offer my poor services in support of a campaign for PR one o'clock club - will PM you my details. Just a thought, but maybe the original post should be re-posted under the Family Room as I think more parents would see it there?

I've got a little blank note book and have scribbled some stuff in there....I'm not sure what I'll ever do with it in terms of making it more presentable but my first thought was just to have something for myself as my memory is so terrible and these early years do feel so precious. Sort of wish I'd done the email thing but wonder if I'd ever have found the time...

Lovely thread. So glad I'm not the only soppy fool. In the Night Garden intro and the 'Looking up, looking down..etc' music makes my heart ache too much - btw, does anyone else wonder if the Night Garden is an allegory on the after life? My boys only 2yrs now but I'm already worrying how I will get through the school nativity without being reduced to convulsive sobbing.

Dear 123ed, Overall, I get the feeling from your post that you are not very happy about this idea - much as you want to be supportive of your husband. I really feel for you because I would really want to do everything I could to support my husband and to try and make him happy (hope he doesn't read this). Having said which, if he got a dream job 10,000 miles away, I'm afraid he'd already know what my answer would be and it's not child-friendly. Suffice to say he'd be living his dream on his own. But maybe you are more open to moving overseas? maybe part of you is quite excited by the idea? You don't say if you have lived overseas before so I assume not - is it something you have ever wanted for yourself? It is a HUGE ask on his part....if you haven't already, you should discuss in advance what happens IF you were to go a) what's the get out plan if you are unhappy there b) what's an acceptable time frame for 'giving it a chance' c) what is available to you to help you cope with this huge change - e.g. will you get some help with childcare so you can spend time rebooting? how often will you be able to fly back? how much time will your husband be able to spend with the family? Like so much in this world, I fear filthy lucre comes to bear - Hong Kong may be a wonderful lifestyle if you can afford a decent sized apartment, staff, lots of UK flights, etc - but not all ex-pats live like the British Raj. If it were just the two of you, clearly there would be less hand-wringing, but a Mummy's wellbeing and sanity is especially precious because if Mummy is not okay and is unhappy then the whole family is unhappy. I'd also like to put in a word for the Grandparents because they get taken for granted so easily - all of that free childcare, emergency loans etc. gets forgotten. What do they think about it? Are they mobile enough and affluent enough to travel to see you? Perhaps they would be happy to sacrifice seeing the Grandchildren so often so that your husband can make the most of this career opportunity? It should be a decision the whole family makes together - that way you won't feel burdened by being solely accountable should things go tits up (which ever way you decide) - it shouldn't be just YOUR big dilemma. Talk, talk talk - and I hope you all reach a decision that feels right.

Thanks ladies. I feel better - just knowing you're not the only one makes such a difference. My husband has got a paediatrician referral from our GP...so hopefully we'll be told all's well and the whole family can relax!

I'm so fed up of worrying over my boy - he's 15 months old and weighs 20lb which means that he has dropped from 25th centile at birth to 2nd. He hasn't put on an ounce since September - although in the meantime he's had a chest infection and 4 teeth arrive. He has lots of energy and bombs around all day (naps are not that popular either)and food is way down on his list of priorities, he likes to subsist on the odd pot of fromage frais and nubs of cheese. I realise this sounds like an open-shut case and the tiny bit of sensible brain that I've got left knows that I'm getting screwed up over nothing but I'd really love to hear any 'my baby was just the same stories...' because the collective hand-wringing and 'oh dears' of the health visitor, GP, grandmas etc are starting to rub off on me!

Nikki - there are a couple of 'I've not been there myself but my mate says....' posts re Excel II and something about a vague rumour about the building being for sale or something....and sadly these sorts of posts stick in people's minds even when they can't remember the details and must have a negative and unfair impact of the firm's reputation. I've looked at an Ofsted report from 2007 which rated some aspects of the upstairs bit (older kids) as inadequate but after reading the descriptions, there wasn't anything that would concern me personally and it was 3 years ago - all areas rated good in most recent, 2008 report. My son's recently started in the baby room at Excel II (forest hill rd) and I've been so relieved by how well he's settled there. The staff are lovely, meals great and he's thoroughly entertained. When I pick him up he likes to give the staff a cuddle before we go and at home, he's the same active and mostly happy baby we're used to. I've always been weirdly scrupulous about keeping his bum lovely (he has never had ANY nappy rash) and I was sure he'd get abit pink, as no-one could care about his bottom as like his mummy does, but his bum is as perfect as ever! After all my nail chewing I'm so grateful to them!

My hospital midwife at Kings was lovely, wise and wonderful. What's more it was clear that she wanted a 'normal delivery' for me - I went in there feeling very anxious and incompetent with a pessimistic 'give me drugs!!' attitude - and in the nicest, most supportive and most effective way possible she guided me towards a drug free, intervention-free birth. Sb, you have inspired me - it's nearly 10 months on but I'm gonna write that letter goddammit!

Suggestions anyone?

I rang them myself this morning (twas early). The person I spoke to suggested that it is suitable for infants from 6 months onwards. No idea on point 2).

Kacenka76 - who on earth are all these wicked women that you know who 'easily abandon' their children? Clients of yours?

Bet your an outstanding Mum. If you didn't care so much - would be reading this stuff for fun? Would you think any of it mattered either way? No. So it's a completely pointless book; obviously 'bad' parents (god help me I'm not getting into that one - can we just let it stand?) wouldn't even know it was published let alone if they were Mugger, Ring Binder or Sexi or whatever these BS random categories are. Perhaps I should be grateful that the absolute financial necessity of going back to work will save me from wringing my hands over this one. Maybe I'm making a virtue out of the situation I simply happen to find myself in (bit like being any other oil company apart from BP at the moment...) e.g. I do 'attachment' parenting (slings, BF, no crying etc etc)or did once I got over the shock of it all. But it's no great virtue on my part. Just the way I have to do it. Apenn - please don't buy any parenting books; save yourself. My excellent psychotherapist (Tavistock trained don't you know) rolls her eyes in despair if I mention any of this vile new chick lit. Not sure Leach is any better/different. Heard her promoting new book on Radio 4 (guess it was Woman's Hour) on cortisol levels in brains of infants enduring controlled crying. Came across badly - whoever it was putting across the 'other view' (an neurologist working in the field) put her into a tail spin. Is anyone on this this thread a neurologist currently involved in research on the above? No? Guess we're all equally in the dark on that one then. But listen we have a local child psychologist who is one of us, on our side, not selling us anything, or promoting herself, advancing her career - I believe in expertise I really do - who has given our little coterie some excellent humane advice. One more thing...'having it all?' Having it f****** all!!! Having to DO IT ALL more like. C***