Gussy

Yes Clare I think this plays a big part. Most or many of us don't have mum (or gran even) nearby to ask for advice or to pass down all the tips and tricks and coping strategies through the generations. All I can say is when my two finally start school I won't know what has hit me. Think of all that time on my hands....hmmm baking, sewing, home improvements?? Erm, no, probably back to work full time!

I agree with charlotte and littleED, I think we just do it differently now. I would love all that order and baking etc but I just don't have time and I consider myself fairly organised. I have a weekly schedule of activities for the kids, I plan their meals for the week and cook everything from scratch, I don't have a cleaner and only manage a morning a week to do the loo, hoover and change the sheets (before one of the kids starts screaming - although baby normally starts as soon as the hoover goes on!). I love the time we have together and wouldn't change it for the world. HOWEVER, the place is a tip and I HATE it and the clothes washing is a joke, I just can't keep up (nothing gets ironed) but I don't know if there's a lot more organising etc I can do. Even that takes time and is boring :) I think my mum and her mum's generation were maybe a bit tougher and you had to sit down and amuse yourself while mum did the chores.....I remember my mum was always in the kitchen and before my brother came along I would just sit on the work top and watch her. Not a chance in hell any of my two would sitting anywhere for more than 5 seconds. I just want to make the most of my little ones at this special time and put housework fairly low down on the list of priorities. Doesn't mean I won't be taking a look at that book Womanofdulwich recommended! But in answer to the original OP's question is there a market, then if you've got the money there probably is! If I had a ton of money I'd get some pointers for sure, but then again, maybe I wouldn't need it because I'd also have a cleaner, nanny, ironing lady etc etc. I'd be interested to hear how such a person would suggest fitting everything in and/or changing the balance of daily activities to be able to add sewing/knitting, more cleaning etc into the mix. I suppose in the couple of hours I get in the evening before bed I could start sewing/knitting? To be honest I'd rather be on here or watching some crap on the tele after a full on day. Maybe I'm lazy? :)

Hi Snowboarder, I made sure I bought LOTS of snacks, a few books and teddy and blanket....seemed to work for a bit before the lure of the conservatory proved too much!

Hi everyone, was lovely to meet some of you this afternoon, and was great to see so many other SAHMs. We are out there! Be nice to make it a regular thing, so hoping to come next week too.

Hi Millie, I go regularly to tippitoes and it's great, however I'm not sure there would be enough room for all of us with little ones (most with more than one) and its normally pretty packed. Also, it would be hard if not impossible to chat to each other for the duration of the class. I find it extremely hard just to keep my eyes on my toddler whilst juggling a squirming 9 month old who thinks he can walk already! It would be lovely to say hello next time we are there - probably next Monday if you are planning on going? In the main, I'm usually stuck for things to do in the afternoons as well, especially in the winter - I can do Thursdays, but I can also get to Goose Green on Mondays for B&B - there is also a playgroup on Thursday mornings which is good for toddlers & babies.

Thank you everyone for your thoughtful and honest replies (and pm's). Sadly I think I am past the point of grinning and bearing it anymore. I've bitten my lip/risen above it for over 2 years, and actually, I think it could have made things worse - no clear goal posts etc and by bottling things up my end I am ready to explode and not able to give considered responses to her attacks, control and general taking over/obsession with my daughter. Many of you are right in that she isn't local so when she visits it's normally for the weekend, which I find extremely intensive. I went back for Christmas (against every bone in my body, as we had a torrid time last year), but yet again it all kicked off. She is already pressuring my husband to come down in the next few weeks. I don't want her here until we can get things a bit more sorted....I'll explore some of the options you have kindly suggested x

Have you tried either Boots or Superdrug in Peckham? I haven't actually bought any from these stores, but I did buy it from a Superdrug about a year ago, so I know they did stock it. It's normally be behind the counter so you need to ask for it. Hope that helps, sorry its not directly in ED...

Hello again, sorry, I've got another query I need your invaluable help with! Apart from ill toddlers, I'm also having a nightmare with my mother-in-law. Without going into all the gorey detail I just want to say that since my daughter was born (26 months ago) my relationship with my MIL has totally deteriorated. At Christmas, we hit breaking point and I'm in a place where I don't know how to proceed. We've talked and my husband has talked, but we have gone past the point of rational discussion - she is very emotional and unpredictable - nothing is helping. I'm at a point where I don't want to see her anymore, and the anxiety and stress its causing is not good for us or the children who I'm sure pick up on it. I wondered if anyone has any pointers on where I can get help from. Does anyone know if there is someone I can talk to about this? A relationship type person/councillor? And where would I find out about this - from the GP or HV? Or has anyone else gone to hell and back with their MIL and survived to tell the tale?! Any pointers would be gratefully received. Many thanks x

Thanks both for replies. I'm glad to hear they are gentle at Kings Fuschia - I'm also a bit worried about putting her through a blood test if this is fairly common/one of those unfortunate things. Plasters and ear examinations are one thing, and something we often play at doing, but a needle in the arm may be another!

Hi ladies, has anyone else got a little one that is CONSTANTLY ill?? I'm not just talking a few colds over the winter months, I'm talking illness after illness for the last 5-6 months (strangely since I moved here in August?!). I remember last year she had about 10 or so colds, coughs, sickness bugs in total, but this year it has been relentless. Typically, she is ill and then has about 3-4 days clear before she comes down with something else. She doesn't go to nursery so isn't overly exposed to other sick kids. We do go to groups a lot, but due to illness we have only made it to say one or two over the last few months. I take her out for fresh air every day, her diet is good (when she eats!), I've recently added a vitamin supplement. I don't want to sound naive and neurotic as I know kids get ill a lot during winter, but its really affecting family life. I'm constantly canceling trips, meet ups, we've only made it to swimming once in 4 months (due to illness!). She is TOTALLY knackered the whole time due to lack of sleep from being awake and ill in the night. My other concern is the amount of paracetamol and ibuprofen I've been pumping down her in the last few months. I'm a pharmacologist so I know how these things work and generally they are safe, but I question long term use in very young children, despite the doctors saying it's fine. Anyway, I took her to the drop-in clinic this morning and she has a sinus infection and the dr has given me antibiotics (this will be the second lot in as many months). He told me to see my regular GP tomorrow and to think about a blood test to give me peace of mind. So, in summary I guess what I'm asking is has anyone else experienced this level of illness in their kids? Do I sound silly for mentioning it and is this normal? My son (9 months) isn't catching as much as her and generally is well. Is there anything else I can do to help boost her immune system? Thanks for reading x

Hi we use an airwrap bumper which goes all around the cot (to stop limbs getting stuck), but I'm sure it would solve the problem, until they can sit up and chuck them over the top that is!

I agree with DagmarJ, I'm not too bothered about another supermarket, but somewhere to buy pants would be really handy.

Haven't heard it for, what, a good week now? Hooray! :))

Hiya, so we are set for another few inches of snow over the next few days if the weather forecast is to be believed....I'm a bit apprehensive about the journey back to Gloucestershire on Boxing day. I know it's hardly flying off to Oz, but its still a 2.5 hr trip in the car with 2 kids (2yrs & 8 months) in fairly bad conditions. Does anyone know if the motorways are actually ok atm? It's hard to know the *real* state of things, having only stepped outside my front door to the shops with the kids a few times in the last 10 days or so!! Also I don't drive regularly, we are hiring a car for the trip back, so this adds a level of anxiety if I prang it! I've got until the day before to cancel the trip to get the money back on the car, but I need to pack and get sorted by Friday (not doing it on Christmas day!). Anyone canceling their get away or just going for it? Obviously I know this TOTALLY all depends on the next few days.........just don't like being unsure of our plans!

For me, since being a Mum > the hardest thing is that you just don't get to > crawl into bed and get time to recover when you > are ill, and I really, really miss being able to > do that. I totally agree Molly. I had mastitis this week and it went totally unnoticed as hubby was ill with man flu. He got a lie in at the weekend (and there's been no temperature, just coughing and sore throat), while I was up with the babies, boobs in agony, sweating, nips bleeding. I've already had a call this morning to say he felt so bad he fell asleep on the bus on the way to work! How I wish I could just have a few hours lie in just to catch my breath every now and then, especially when I'm ill......The other weekend I tried for a lie in and hubby came upstairs with the baby to ask what time he was due down for a nap just as I had fallen asleep. I went NUTS as I haven't had more than say 1 or 2 lie ins in 2 years, and even then I can't sodding sleep (6) As a mum you are just expected to carry on and get on with it, and I'm not complaining, just saying before anyone says 'mums today don't know they are born' (just thinking of a few unsympathetic people on the self esteem thread). I don't think my hubby would notice anything was wrong with me unless my leg fell off! When you are ill and then the kids are ill, its the hardest thing ever. I've said to my husband 'its ok for you, if you are sick you can ring up work and not go in'. Who am I going to call when I'm sick? I can't have a day off, ever! Waaaa poor me etc ;-)

Ah we didn't make it in the end. Decided trying to get on a bus with a 2 year old and 8 month old in these conditions wasn't the best idea. Plus even on foot there's only so far you can go pulling a kid on a sledge and pushing a buggy. Gutted as I'm dying to blow out a few cobwebs! We opted for pulling toddler around the playground in the end...maybe next year when they are older.

Hello, did anyone manage to get out and up to the Horniman or similar for sledging today? If so what's the going like? Just trying to decide if its worth making the journey up there (on the bus) tomorrow with the 2 kids. Thanks!

Hehe mine is the same 'menice mummy, menice teeth urt' nearly every day! Out of interest which liquid multivit are you using Molly? I tried a few months back to get some into toddler G but she hated it. Must admit it tasted horrid.

Thanks newcomer, useful info. I've had a really itchy scalp for what seems like forever (had 2 kids in last 2.5 years) and my scalp has been a mess and still is. We're dropping down to between 2-4 feeds in 24 hrs...I posted a few weeks back that I've got insomnia since weaning as well. Thankfully it is easing now, but it is strange what the body gets up to with all these hormones....i'll have a look for the scalp tonic as every shampoo I try seems to work for a week or so and then my scalp just starts itching again...

The missed collection last week left us with an even worse than usual overflowing green bin and x3 overflowing recycling boxes. As a family of 4 with 2 babies in nappies the fortnightly collection (or longer!) always leaves our green bin bursting. As I've said many a time, my big old brown bin was 90% empty (we produce 1-2 bags of food waste each week)........

No me either! Makes mental note. I've also found the staff really nice and helpful. I quite like the music in there too - I always end up singing along to some vibes :)

Hi Ruth and congrats on your pregnancy! I had the exact same worries and no one close by. Nobody but me and hubby had ever looked after our daughter (she was 16 months at the time) so we didn't want to ask friends - she didn't know them and they also had their own kids to look after, or, they had never even held a child before so it wasn't an option we felt comfy with. This was actually one of the main reasons we decided to go for a homebirth and doula in the end. It meant mummy wasn't off in hospital for ages (was a week with dd) and daddy could look after her while I had the doula with me, or vice versa. I prepped the doula on dd's routine and we got to know each other fairly well before the big day so she knew her way around the house etc. I went into labour in the morning and had the baby at lunchtime while dd was on her lunchtime nap, so when she woke up she had a new brother! It couldn't have gone better. I then called the in-laws (2 hrs away) and they came down to take dd to the park while I tried to get breastfeeding underway. It's funny I really wanted my hubby with me with my first, but with the second I knew what I was doing and perfectly happy to have a doula there with me. Hubby was in the house and kept checking in on me, so I knew he was there, and with me if I needed him. In fact a female companion was wonderful and she massaged my back, much more than hubby could manage the first time around (he won't mind me saying that). So anyway, maybe an option if you feel really stuck? x Ps don't forget second labours are normally a lot quicker than firsts (my first was 3 days, second 6 hrs), so bear in mind that even if friends look after your 18 month old, hopefully it won't be for very long!

Was on Rye lane yesterday and bulldozed my way around Ethel Austin with the Phil & Ted - tons of decs in there, all cheap as chips - none are going to win the Kirsy Allsop decorate your poncy home for Christmas award, but a few of them with some classier objects will do nicely.

Hi yes I was there this morning and I think I saw your mum! I think mini-keef kept trying to leg it out the room :) but they both looked liked they had fun.

Well done Fuschia, great news. Welcome to the world Fuschlet no.4? (sorry am I right in thinking you have a boy and twins already?)Amazing, anyone with 2, let alone twins always gets a nod of respect from me! x