polly, that is nothing, about 2 yrs ago, i was sitting with a work-mate in the office, when a fellow colleague from a different department walked in and after a bit of pleasant chit-chat, my work mate asked the colleague how his wife was, after a moments hesistation back came the reply, we,ve broken up, non deterred she then asked how was their child was only for him to go he,s dead. nothing else was said. i fortunately was just an innocent bystander but if the world had opened up at that moment i would have gladly jumped in.