zeban

Thanks for that condescending post hellosailor!!! please don't treat me like an idiot, my Mum had 4 girls so I know the battle parents go through with girls. I guess I have a heightened awareness over issues of body image given my sister has had an eating disorder for half her life- starting at 15 and still going on into her 30s, and so maybe I am a little over reactionary when it comes to issues of image and fashion with young girls- maybe conflating unfairly the two issues and thinking too much about it. But I think I'd rather still think too much about it than not enough. Tiddles, I appreciate your post :). Of course in real life situations compromise comes into it- it always does in pretty much all life situations whether you have children or not!!! Yes I have noticed all teenagers seem to want to look the same and it's something they grow out of so it's not eactly the worse thing in the world and has probably always been like that. I'd still ask my friends though if I was to buy them a clothes shop voucher for their 14 year old children just to check here they think is ok and appropriate for them.

And just for the record when I said 'you' in the above statement I was using a generic 'you', not you personally. I thought you would realise that as, like you said, I don't know you or your daughter. Please don't insult my intelligence, your condescending tone leaves me positively seething!

sillywoman I wasn't in any way rubbishing your parenting or your daughter. I was merely stating that Topshop isn't really aimed at 14 year olds which it isn't! My friends still shop there, I shopped there whilst at uni in my 20s and up until 26- that is their demographic. 14 year olds may aspire to shop there but most 14 year olds can't afford to shop there and not all of their clothes are age appropriate for a 14 year old. I'm not smug in any way. Everyone is entitled to their opinions but you called me daft because mine don't match with yours which I found quite condescending. I've recently stopped shopping at topshop which is why I know their demographic well. Get over yourself!

Don't think stella B would be a good idea either. Oliver Bonus definitely a good idea. Or vouchers from sains.

I suppose that's what i meant really Ann. yes you can find decent separates in there that are fine for a 14 year old but they're too epensive for your average 14 year old and the price is indicative of their main demographic that they're aiming at. I third Fuschia's i tunes voucher.

This is easy.ask her if she wants to go for a drink sometime. she'll know you like her if you ask that.if she says yes she may be interested. If she says no- she's busy/will get back to you etc (which all mean no) then she's not and you should leave it at that. don't try to befriend her and then ask her out. just ask her out. I had a neighbour that befriended me and we got chatting loads and I actually started liking having him as a neighbour UNTIL he asked me out. to me that ruined it because I didn't like him in that way at all and I knew that would be the end of the neighbour friendship as it would be too awkward after that.

I wouldn't say you're too old for Tophop bluesuperted! it must be all those 14 year olds making you feel you're too old ;-) You're right though in that there are lot of inappropriate things in all clothes shops- there were padded bras in Primark not too long ago that were meant for 12 year olds! they got rid of them though thank god! Topshop is ridiculouly epensive for such mass produced horrible quality things. It used to be quite good- reasonable and quite good quality- I have a pair of jeans from there I must have bought around 2005/6 hich have only started to fall apart, but I can't bare it now- really really overpriced for what you get.

Thanks for that Fuschia :-), 15-30 is bang on, you can 'pah' it all you like sillywoman but those are the stats- talk to the PR department of Topshop they'll tell you the same. Just because your daughter lusts after something doesn't mean you have to give in. I wouldn't particularly want to be having battles with my daughter over what she wears but that doesn't mean I'd give into all she wants just for the sake of not arguing with her. I'd encourage her to not just copy what her peers were doing and realise that all the people in the magazines she sees are alot older than her. I'd also encourage her into realising there's more to life than fashion and image. Then once she's old enough to have a job and buy her on clothes then she can wear what she wants. I don't see how that's daft. And Topshop is actually quite epensive, although i don't know anyone who buys from Boden!

Horses for courses though. on the edge suggestions are good or Fushia's suggestion for an itunes card I think is a brilliant idea. Personally though I'd just check with the parents before you get anything.

sillywoman I can assure you it's not aimed at 14 year olds- I only stopped shopping there a few years ago and I'm 29. you might want to go in there and check out the clothes! I'd say more 16- 23 years- you definitely don't see parents out shopping with their kids in there and there is also a blow dry bar in there and a manicure bar amongst other things that aren't 14 year old age appropriate. 14 year old don't have enough dispoable income for it to be aimed at them- Topshop is actually quite epensive- their main age group are college and uni students. If you know parents who do take their 14 year old there then that's their choice but don't assume it's aimed at that age group just because of that. Yes I do think alot of it is too risque and inappropriate saffron- given it's aimed at older teens! and I'm not saying I didn't wear inappropriate clothes as a teen but I was older than 14 and old enough to have a job and abit of my own income so I could make my own inappropriate choice of clothes without my Mum having much of a say in it!! There may be fluoro jeans in there but that's because fashion has dictated that they're in this season. net season it might be leather skirts and thigh high boots such is fashion!

Find out what she's into and what she likes- a band, an activity, jewelery etc and get something related to that. or ask the parents if you're not sure

personally I think Tophop is too old for a 14 year old.

Ms B Wrote: a plate of ED Deli > brownies, which are the best on the planet as any > fule kno. Better have the defibrilator on standby > then... Completely agree! they are A-MAZING!

had a lovely day on Lordship Lane today. went out to eat something in the sun and got chatting to someone I just randomly met who was also on their own, for a good hour. rarely happens in London I find and many places including East Dulwich can be a hard and sometimes quite lonely place to be at the weekend when you're single and it's spring/summer. reminded me of the lovely feeling I get whenever I'm travelling- making new friends and connecting with people :-)

That's not true Loz. I have cats come into my front garden to go to the loo and they always bury it. I couldn't say whether they're my neighbours cats as cats have a way of wandering about. of course they are domestic cats but just because a cat comes into your garden and you don't recognise it, it doesn't mean it's feral. Cat's are clean animals- it's in their nature. Only dominant feral cats may not bury their poo to mark their territory but otherwise it's very rare.

Hardly the wrong answer woodrot. If the OP had mentioned at the beginning that these are pesky cats that spray everyhere and dig up her/his garden then I wouldn't have posted my comment, but he/she just seemed peeved that cats were in her garden which I found a bit weird.cats bury their poo so I don't see what the big deal is- unless they're digging up your plants to bury their poo in in which case I do have sympathy. cats also don't generally smell, unless they're unneautered and spray everywhere.

Is it so bad having cats in your garden? unless they're spraying of course, or digging up flowers. otherwise they're harmless, and quite sweet :-)

Oh god that's absolutely awful, how horrible. I'm so glad you're ok. Thank you for the warning.

Brilliant, thanks Chippy :-)

I'm getting my sister to record it on her skybox. Does anyone know how you can record something from sky/skybox onto dvd?

This is absolutely awful, I can`t believe it. I`m so so sorry. RIP Morph :'(

In a word, no! she may be doing you a favour but believe me, you're doing her more of a favour- a house to herself is a complete luury when you're sharing. Buy her in a couple of bottles of wine and tell her she can help herself to any food in the house or buy her in a few bits of food. I'm sure she'll be massively appreciative of that.

No they wouldn't get benefits EDmummy

Absolutely sunbob

Actually you can and probably would be sanctioned for up to 6 months if you leave your job voluntarily. You definitely cannot rely on getting the hardship payment- if you've left your job voluntarily then you probably wouldn't be entitled to get the hardhip payment anyway. I don't know if in that time you could get housing benefits or council tax benefits either-the amount you get depends on your income and if you have none then I think you have to have proof that you have nothing coming in which is usually through a letter showing you get job seekers allowance, as well as bank statements etc etc. Also remember there's a maximum amount of housing benefit you can get and these have been lowered so don't assume you'ld get everything covered. Personally I agree with Carbonara. Not a great idea to say the least! Edited to add I also think it's wrong when middle class parents buy a house or rent a place on top of the house they already have just to get their kids into the 'best' schools. But that's another topic which I don't intend to go into don't worry!