new mother

Excellent idea - the more childcare options there are, the better. Could be useful for those who work at home and have only the occasional meeting, part timers, emergency situations as Belle says.

vanish?

Stoopid question probably but does an innoculated baby/child need to have a booster as we all did at 13?

Thanks Elderflower. NB nanny rates are generally quoted NET of tax whereas eg the min wage is still subject to tax...

Elderflower, sorry - I've realised I committed an irritating sin of giving my view without it being asked for, in my post above. I don't know how to edit so please just ignore or excuse me instead. THanks

To what age do you think bfeeding is normal? To me, it's normal to want to bf a baby and not normal to bf a 10 year old. I don't know where the line comes though...

That's taking the mickey. why would anyone employ a mummy nanny if they had extra costs and half the woman's attention??? makes no sense whatsoever. I wouldn't employ a mummy nanny by the way EVER because, if a problem develops, her instinct will quite correctly and automatically be to look after her own child and there's no way I want my child to come second in a dangerous situation. Of course it's unlikely this would ever occur but the fact that it just might is more than enough for me and overrides considerations such as sociability.

I had a wonderful elective section and am happy to discuss with Anna. QUOTE You're so right Maki, & sometimes it's down to how each woman feels about her experience. I was with some women recently discussing birth experiences. One woman described her 'horrendous' birth to me, another woman then described her 'surprisingly alright' birth experience - they were almost identical in terms of length of labour, strength of contraction, speed of dilation (very slow!), what point they'd gone to hospital, what had happened once there and how baby was born. What was different was their view of it all. The first woman looked at the second & said 'but you had an awful time too', second Mum looked quite surprised and said 'did I?' - she just didn't see it that way END QUOTE this is fascinating and true across all life experiences I think.

I'd certainly like to attend if there is a course around... I feel it is a huge (and critical) gap in my parenting. I did buy some books from Amazon but it's not the same.

Keef, re your post, on the same basis, any debates vs boys' schools organised by my (all girls) school attracted the most remarkable attendances, often from girls with no previous interest in debating, but a lot of eyeliner and regulation skirts specially shortened for the event.

Keef, the funny thing is that I too read the heading and thought the same thing. err and it's my thread. baby brain anyohne? ;-)

it is basically a disaster being self employed and having a baby. you lose badly. Compare with being employed where, as has happened for many of my friends, some women get six months to a year off on full pay, plus protected bonuses (a bonus for not being present in the office??). and then get statutory mp when the employer's cash ceases. plus various paternity allowances etc blah blah blah. they also generally get private health free or heavily subsidised. I pay the usual whack of tax plus heavy national insurance. I use private healthcare and education so I cost the country nothing there and I lose out on eg nursery vouchers as self employed, by definition, cannot do salary sacrifice. Health and education are my choice so I suppose that's hard cheese but the rest of it? I feel like I am supporting everyone else and getting next to nothing back. Oh I forgot, they are actually remarkably efficient at bin emptying in my street. hurrah.

THis is becoming a really big issue for some reason. Im so sorry for you. I can imagine the poor little one and 3.5 is very young to be coping with the bad pollen as we call it. Friend got stronger stuff from the gp but the problem with that is that the school refuses to administer it so she now has to skulk around at lunchtime waiting for the little one - embarrassed of course - to appear to be dosed up. It's that or no school as her eyes swell up terribly as you are describing for your son. I think GP should be your next port of call. Good luck.

ladies/gentlemen, Thank you very much for all of these contributions. They are all very helpful and raise issues that we would not havce considered otherwise. ANy other thoughts anyone?

Dear all, I'd appreciate any thoughts on the following. Our first daughter is coming up for school registration etc and we are debating whether to go for a mixed or girls' school. My husband and I both went to single sex schools and are very aware of the problems these can cause some people in later life - relating to the opposite sex, forming relationships, understanding the opposite sex as people and not just bf or gf etc. Half of the population is the opposite sex and it seems mad to cocoon a child from boys when she will work with men and socialise with men for the rest of her life. All of that indicates in favour of a mixed school. OTOH, girls do academically much better in girls' schools and this is important in a society obsessed with league tables and entrance to a good university. There is obviously no issue about "being feminine" or dumbing oneself down in sciences and mathematics to fit with being more popular with the boys. (We understand from friends that this does happen, unfortunately.) We suspect that mixed schools could well have further issues and pressures that we aren't aware of. If we have a slight preference, I probably incline towards mixed and my husband towards single sex. So, we are prettily well on the fence and in the dark, to mix two metaphors. We're interested in anyone's personal experience or observation and also in the experiences of children today which might be particularly relevant I suppose. Many thanks for your thoughts.

Calm down ladies, Eater 81 is being ironic. And I agree with his/her point. THis girl is very sad. yes, she's lying and, yes, it's nasty that she's fraudulently trying to scam money but,you know, she's desperate. She isn't just asking for ten quid for a better lunch than the one she can afford.

Am I reading these prices correctly?!

I've been told frequently it doesn't work though I have also heard people saying they claim. I don't think it's within the rules and, worse than being charged to tax n the benfit in kind, might even constitute evasion(!!). your only alternative is to become an MP....

haha SW, v funny and succinct post

baby rice? I started my baby far too late on it, following guidelines slavishly. THe poor child grabbed the spoon immediately, shoved it straight in her mouth and gobbled the rest of the JAR in seconds. I felt like I had been under nourishing her for weeks by following generic health dept guidelines that some fool has written.

Similar topic - has anyone who is self employed managed to claim back any of the costs of a nanny vs taxable income?? I know that prima facie it is not deductible (per my accountant) but thought/hoped some aspects might be, from conversations with other parents in the past.....

One thing I do note is that my brothers and sister and I were just told by my parents in any given scenario: this is how it is to hapopen. ANd it did. automatically. It simply would not have occurred to us to disobey. However, my nephews and nieces are asked whether they want to do X Y Z, to eat A, B, C and are invited to contribute to debate in a way that would never have occurred to my parents. Equally, my parents then demand a far higher standard of behaviour. manners and deference from their grandhcildren and, critically, the children are perfectly happy. I'm quite intrigued to see how I end parenting and presume it will be as per my brothers and sister. Has anyone else observed/experiecned the same thing?

THere is so much misinformation about these tours, it's unbelievable. I think it's half six - we went at 7 and missed it. They offered to take us round on our own but the place was full of women in agony begging for pain relief. I went a bit mad and told them to sort their priorities out, for God's sake get into the 21st century and focus on these poor women, not my stupid tour. My husband was mortified but I couldn't give a damn.

Pathetic and gives other more principled nannies a bad name. If she is like this at the start when she is presumably trying to impress the new employer, what on earth will she be like later on? Oh and I'm afraid I don't buy the real illness thing. Conscientious people who were unlucky with their health in a new job would be falling over themselves to explain it/work instead/not take pay etc. Fire her soonest.

btw that reminds me! employers are well advised to agree the GROSS wage so that eg where a nanny has underpaid for some reason in the past, you don't end up having to pay her more to meet your (anachronistic) NET agreement...