new mother

Forget solicitors out of London, especially for leases. it is a false economy. Tony, thanks for this. what is your view on agents?

the trick for an agent used to be to over value the property, get it on the books then slowly acquaint the vendor with the fact it isn't selling, the market has moved, it might be best to reduce it etc. they then sell it at a reduced level for higher commission than the competing agents. check any agnet's contract carefully especially how to get rid of them and whether there is a minumum period for them to havea go? A month is reasonable. you can judge how many second viewings etc are happening. also, remember fees attract VAT at 20% which is another chunk of cash at an expensive time....

You need to assess whether your property is tricky to sell - area, distance from station, massive crack in drawing room wall whatever - and if so, it may be worth paying Foxtons the extra. The advice certainly used to be " buy through anyone, sell through Foxtons".

Sweet and true. I would add - if you have a reserved (ie stiff upper Brit) husband, listen if he complains about something or expresses a preference. he had to summon up the courage and words probably!

@ladyruskin Isn?t a mother?s state of mind and self-esteem as crucial as breast-milk in helping the baby to thrive? Yes it absolutely is and this was not examined by the documentary. Do what you feel comfortable with, enjoy your baby and never ever feel guilty about your choices... Quite right! Completely agree. Oldnewromantic, I bottle fed from the start and din't think twice about it. The babies were happy, grew beautifully, slept through the night rom 8 and 9 weeks and got their first colds etc at nursery well over the age of one. I and my friends view the dictatorial militant b'feeders very negatively and are sad they seem to be looking for things to disapprove of in other women. Everyone should do what works for her IN THE ROUND - and that incldues bonding, health issues, sleeping, partner's involvment etc. not just data that doesn't bear great analytical scrutiny about the risk of asthma to the child in his/her 40s.

Belle, pre-emptive ads - what a good idea. Stuff the bfing. better to have a year of bonding with your new baby. Another thought - it would not be an elective surely? Wldn't it be "medically advised"?

Well, I am a great advocate of elective sections, having had two myself which could not have been better birth experiecnes and meant that my first minutes onwards with both of our children were wonderful. So, maybe I'm not the best person to listen to but here are some ideas: 1. Have you considered a hospital birth rather than homebirth? Is that not a natural thing to go for given that your history is one of complicated delivery? 2. If you stick with home birth, what is your back up plan if the same thing happens again? how quickly can you get to Kings?what happens there? etc. Can you think through all this now? 3. Be sure you get any stats on elective calm organised sections as opposed to the emergency disaster ones they tend to trot out to discourage people. They are very different categoreis with very differnet outcomes. 4. what does your husband think as if you are in pain/under drugs he will be the one making the decisions presumably?? 5. Costs of a private section - not cheap. Guys seems to be the least but there are various packages and you need to control costs a bit. Avoid Portland, not just for cost. Hope it goes smoothly whatever you decide and that you are able to find some calm in these last few weeks. It is totally udnerstandable that you are worried about it adn my heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry. I think it's a disgrace that you are in this situation when so vulnerable but that is a political issue for another time.

The only acceptable reason for not speaking up is fear that the child is attacked even worse behind closed doors afterwards. If I saw someone hitting a child especially with an implement, which I consider absolutely unacceptable, I would call 999 and wait till they arrived to give a statement. If you are threatened by another adult as some posters have stated, that is in itself an assault and something that could lead to a custodial sentence. Call the police.

That is so kind, thank you. I will do my house price research first and then pm you perhaps. Thank you again.

Fascinating discussion- Heidi, to pick up on your suggestion of Aldwick. Is it suitable for older people? Are there the sort of clubs that my parents would enjoy - golf, bridge, gardening, church etc? How are house prices( in general) cf ED for example? I will look it all up now, thank you.

Prendergast seems to be attractive a lot of families. I suppose only ones with girls though. Where do the boys go? Askes in T Hill perhaps? Anyway, a few months into the property year, what do people think? It is an interesting one but I am starting to think that ED has topped out and that it is time to go for the peripheral areas. I hadn't even thought of the secondary schools issues but that would be another reason....

Is ther any value left in ED would be my query...isn't it time to be buying on the periphery and waiting for it too to tend towards ED prices? Just a thought/feeling. What do others think?

Any ideas for good places for parents to live? By this I mean mY own parents who are intheir 70s and want to be near their grandchildren. Of course london prices seem high to them so somewhere within striking distance but outside London would be best.

It is a huge shame and I can picture their tearful little faces. :-((( Zeban, yes, in London it might be useful for a child to know that there are nasty people around, if it stops him or her accepting sweets etc.

I am now worrying something awful happens when people try their own sting operations....

It must be gutting and the sort of thing where you just want to turn back the clock. Otoh, it might make the little ones really really understand that there are some nasty people around and, weirdly, that might come in handy. Sorry - I am tryingto find a good aspect of it :-(((

Why edcam and Sue? :-) PS EdCam are you any relation to DaveCam?

One problem is that schools have open to all systemns which aren't reciprocated. As a local council taxpayer, I'd like to know why this is.

Rigorous competition ? all children will know where they stand in comparison to their peers and how to improve Otta, why does this worry you?

Colic? Use Dr Browns's bottles, with a strange arrangement inside that is supposed to reduce wind. Also, try lying the baby tummy to your forearm, obviously held firmly and securely by you, head to inner slbow - Im not describing this well at all - but it worked immediately for us if the crying started....could be distraction as the babies find it fun or it could be that the pressure on the right part of the tummy forces wind out?

The current GCSE is so much easier than, say, 20 years ago. There's just no comparison. Looking over a paper briefly does explain the grade inflation, though, that we keep hearing about. Tbh, how much of what we learned at school is directly applicable in "real" life? If that were the criterion, the syllabus for external exams would have to chance radically. I do find it concerning, though, in this country how many people are prepared to laugh and state proudly how appalling they are at "maths" - by which they generally mean basic arithmetic but that's another story - when they would be mortified over having poor writing skills, for example. Like it or not, sciences and numbers are the most critical aspect of our society and where new jobs are coming from. Maybe that's what to tell the teenagers?!

Regarding uniform etc? I think that's fair enough surely? (though somewhat expensive..)

bath thing that came with change-station - waste of time. thermometer - w.o.t. 300 pairs of tiny tiny baby socks - w.o.t. "cage" - useful nice clothes for hospital - first time, I followed advice and took grungy awful stuff as it would get trashed and all my photos were really bad. :-((( take in ncie things to make you feel amazing and with an amazing new little person.

Zeban, PLease read my post. None of the statements you make apply logically or after a moment's relfefction to my post. Put succinctly, I am simply stating that we are expected to pay for bad education. If education were another "product", like a pair of shoes that fell part immediately, we would not accept what we had "bought". You are right to say that the poorest currently get the wrost deal. Yes, and Mark will probably sort out his problem adn his son will end up with a good education becuase Mark will put time and energy into fixing it. The mother of 5 who works at Tesco hasn't got time to fix the education issues of this country so her child suffers most. You are right. THis is why we have a responsibility to fix the entire system so that those weaker than us can benefit too. Zeban, I am saddened to see that you have viewed my post through the prism of your pre-existing views. Please comment in future on what is actually there, not what you thought you had read or had been expecting to read on the EDF.

I think we are all far too long suffering. If you buy anything you deserve value for money. We "buy" education via our tax system and we get something that far too many people - yes Z of all classes - are disastifised with. Unfortunately, they/we do not view it as a product so they/we just accept what is doled out to us, instead of doing the equivalent of "taking it back to the shop". People, the UK state education system isn't free. It is costing you a small fortune, almost as much as a private school place. (OK, one is paid from pre tax and one post tax, I admit) Question - if you could have your tax allocation back, and add a little to it - say ?1000, would you not prefer to send your child to Dulwich College? THat is where we need to get to as a country. The state should not provide education. It is so clear - it simply isn't working. Mark, and all other parents stuck trying to make the best of this, I feel for you. The desire for one's child to do well and be happy is very strong and it must be devastating to be on the receiving end of this appalling treatment. I havea greal deal of sympathy. How big a group are you? There must be some teachers in amongst it? are there enough skills to teach from home even as a stop gap?