Saffron

I'm glad you found a home. I think rspca may simply be spread too thin in many instances. Next time try a smaller local charity. Foal Farm seems to be doing lots of good work: http://www.foalfarm.org.uk

No children involved, or I would have reported suspicions to authorities long ago. I'm sure the substance abuse is a coping mechanism for them both. :( Supportive practical progress is being made thankfully. Thanks so much for your posts. As things are coming out in the wash, it's clear that the situation has been quite dire for a while. People don't always know how to ask for help, and judging when to step in has been very stressful but ultimately the right thing. xx

This is an interesting article on LARCs. http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-12-12/spotlight-on-mirena-and-implanon-contraceptive-devices/9247960 From personal experience, I had a Mirena for well over a year, and it gave me profound clinical depression. I've gone back to a copper coil, depression lifted. Obviously some women are fine with LARCs, some not. There doesn't currently seem to be a good system for determining who might have severe side effects.

There are guidelines in place in the UK bringing laundry chutes in line with buildings regs on fire safety. It will involve variations on use of steel boxing, type of seal, and lids/door that are "fire doors". Try a search for "laundry chute regulations" xx

Hi midivydale. Yes we considered this, and also weighed it up against the fact that he is isolating her and the aggression is worsening. We opted for a few low key but direct conversations today, not a group confrontation. Things are moving forward. Reading all the websites has been so helpful. This is only the first part of the problem. The second part of the problem is going to be longer and more complicated, addressing this issue among all the friends he manipulated.

Thanks. I'm going to have a look at these. Long honest conversations need to be had across our friends about not facilitating the abuser, without isolating the other person. :(

Sadly revisiting this post for advice and support. Susyp, rereading what you wrote is very moving. Thanks for being inspirational. There is a strong suspicion in my close-knit groups of friends that one of the ladies is a victim of domestic violence. There is isolation, withdrawal, unexplained bruises and lots of excuses and denial. They both drink to excess and he has a massive drug problem. I feel like he's been manipulating our group of friends in order to get away with his behaviour. I've never seen him hit her, but he is verbally abusive. I have witnessed this. I've also seen him be quite charming. I'm seriously concerned that if this carries on, irreparable physical harm is the end result. Do we all sit around shaking our heads until he breaks her arm?!? I'm also f------ pissed off that he's manipulating all of us. I think reluctance to discuss it is harming our group of friends, and I want it openly discussed. But I'm aware this may not be the most popular thing. I'm also concerned that it might make things worse for her personally.

The Defence Secretary has purportedly now ordered the dogs to be rehomed.

We also don't know the dogs' ages or other health issues that would make them harder to rehome. The reporting has been very emotive but not very informative. I can't see the decision to euthanise them being made lightly. I do hope suitable homes can be found.

Thank binkylilyput. I've posted your link in the Lounge. xx

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-42179833 From the article: "Out of the 25 females assaulted, 16 were young children. The other victims were aged between 16 and 35. "The offences were mainly carried out in the Lewisham and Greenwich areas, but police have received reports of similar attacks in Southwark, Bromley and Bexley. "They took place between about 07:00-09:00 GMT and 16:00 18:00 GMT." Stay safe. Look out for each other. Speak to your children's Head of School or local Safer Neighbourhoods Team if you have specific concerns. xx

Update: https://www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/police-hunt-serial-sex-attacker-who-has-struck-at-least-25-times-across-south-london-a3705756.html From the article: "The latest assault took place last Wednesday when a 15-year-old schoolgirl was grabbed as she walked down Sandbourne Road in Brockley." Please stay vigilant. If you have concerns speak to your child's Head of School or local Safer Neighbourhoods Team. xx

School fairs are often a good way to see the school and meet teachers and parents in an informal environment. If your school is having a fair this year, please post more info here. (Not the 2016 thread) xx :)

How many children, and what's your budget?

I'm just over the border in Lewisham. The council gives our school the budget for crossing patrol. Then the school is responsible for hiring staff. Similar in Southwark?

This post has had 1100+ views. At least we know we're not alone in feeling knackered!

I read these are temporary, but I don't have any more details. xx

Anything at the theatre/ concerts interesting for children between now and mid-Dec? Locally or further afield? Weekends? I've seen lots of nice stuff for late December and/or weekdays, which doesn?t work for us this year.

Check that your contraception is not making it worse? I had a Mirena IUS for over a year, and it slowly crept up on me that some of my brainfog, feeling overwhelmed and incapable, and low energy was due to the hormones. Eventually this precipitated a bout of severe clinical depression. I wised-up and had the coil out, and the fog starting lifting within days. I went back to a copper IUD, no hormones. I still feel knackered. I'm still overwhelmed, overwork and underpaid, but I'm coping with it all better. I have more energy, and I'm less irritable. Interestingly for some women, the Mirena has the opposite effect to what I've experienced. Both experiences are fairly common, and there's no reliable way to predict how someone will respond. xx

Efit of the suspect here: https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/4833227/sex-attacks-east-london-cops-e-fit/

Bumping this post to add a screenshot from a local forum, see attached. It has been reported that another young student has been approached by a person fitting the description of other incidents.

Not just by Labour. All parties have been guilty of this, of using education and immigration as political footballs. Considering the times we live in, I personally find blaming education failings on refugees/immigrants to be one of the ugliest and yet understated examples of xenophobia. I hope the OP has found a solution for her daughter's education. Unfortunately bigotry isn't something that can be altogether avoided, regardless of how you school your children, home, state, etc. But it is something we can all teach our children... to examine their own beliefs and challenge prejudice. xx

https://www.writetothem.com In addition to the petition, we can help Nazanin by writing to our MPs. xx

https://www.change.org/p/free-nazanin-ratcliffe

Over a million people have signed Nazanin's petition. Would it be inappropriate to suggest we could swap Boris for Nazanin?