Ole

I think there is increasing pressure for children [and the parents] to read and write much younger. I am going to get pelted for this, but I find that ED and surroundings take the pre-school reading and writing skills of the youngsters far too seriously (not had children in any other London boroughs so can't compare), and I do wonder what the burnout rate in the longterm will be and if this obsession is going to bite us in the bum further down the line. After some play dates I have come away feeling totally negligent as a parent because my son can't write the first letter of his name compared to his friends who can write out their whole name, and then I remind myself that he is just barely out of nappies! I wince when I hear a parent refer to their children's ability to count to 10 good 'numeracy skills'.

I would agree that private tuition for a 4 year old is really young except in special circumstances. My 3.5 son is much the same as your daughter (and also bilingual) and some of his peers are seemingly more advanced than him but I am definitely not worrying about it. For reading, why don't you take her to the library/bookshop and let her choose a book? She may be more willing to let her read it to you then. Also, choose short books as once or twice I have chosen (or let him choose) books beyond his age and he loses interest quickly then. When she finally gets going with the reading and writing she will be able to do it in two languages, which will be a wonderful thing. If you are really worried though why not ask the health visitor?

I think that after 1-2 months, we didn't get his first gro bag until he was 3 months so we must have been dong some form of swaddling until then. What I did after a couple of months is that we still swaddled him but not his arms, so he wasn't really swaddled any more but he still felt the comfort of a blanket cocooning him.

I am looking for a bedside table suitable for a child. Ideally the table would have drawers so that he can tidy away his bits and bobs. I've had a look in the usual suspects (ikea, argos, john lewis) but so far what I have seen is either is either ugly, unsuitable or too expensive. Any suggestions of any other retailers?

I had a tour of the school a while ago and I was very impressed, but at nearly 10K a year in fees I'm not going to be making sandwiches every day for my son to eat at his desk (he will have his whole adult working life for that!).

The general choice of clothes for boys (2+ years) is terrible, but what really gets on my goat is that although outside it is -5 and my son has lost his hat/mittens/scarf/grown out of his vests/torn his coat badly,just because it is the 2nd of January all the stuff out there is the spring/summer collection.

I was telling my mediterranean relatives that we have been invited to a wedding where children are not allowed, and they were very entertained by the notion. In the last 18 months we have been invited to five wedding so far where children not invited, and one of the weddings was of a couple who are very devoted Christians too, so go figure!

The price of baby clothes in LL are far too expensive - i'd only pay more than ?10 for a babygro if it is a pack of 3.

should add when ours went through the biting phase at about the same age we did the time out corner a couple of times and it worked a treat, he knew that if he bit he'd be there for a good minute on his own so he stopped quite quickly after that.

I'd probably have a chat with the nursery to find out how often the biting is happening and come to an agreement as to how incidents should be handled, and about using consistent techniques both at home and at nursery to let him know that biting is not acceptable. If it is just an isolated incident I would just let it go, but if he is being punished in this way regularly then I think I'd ask for a proper meeting on the best way forward without having to resort to isolation. I would be mortified to know that my son is biting and I would want to know who he has bitten so that I could have a quiet word with the parents to let them know that I am aware of the situation and trying to remedy it. I think probably most children go through a biting phase, therefore I am sure the parents will understand how you are feeling.

I haven't been in one in 5 years after one of their burgers gave me food poisoning. Now, KFC, I have not stepped foot inside for 15 years, and whilst I still get the add McD craving and I can see myself giving in one day, KFC is just one step too far.

Does the nursery have an early drop off option so you could take her in earlier on the way to work? If all else fails, there might be some statutory carer's rule which would deter your your work from complaining about your arrangements while your husband is off sick (particularly since it is only temporary?). If they are really nasty about it could you negotiate some overtime when your husband is back to fitness to make up for the late mornings now?

That is amazing,(and very inspiring!)

we have had this too and we have gone through the following: 1. get him a bedside table and little bedside lamp and allow him a few minutes to 'read' a book by himself after we have done the bedtime reading to him before switching the light off. 2. putting some soft toys at the foot of his bed and encouraging him to go back to bed because 'he needs to look after his babies and the babies will miss you' 3. putting a nightlight in his bedroom and keeping the corridor light on until he is asleep (this will only work if he is used to sleeping with his bedroom door open though) 4. making a big fuss about how he is a big boy with his own big boy bed etc. If he says he is scared ask him what he is scared off and spend time explaining the fear away. I do this with my son all the time and half the time he is not actually scared of anything. 5. when all else fails i tell him that if he is that unhappy that he does not want to go back to his own bed I tell him I might as well turn half his bedroom into mummy's study so that at least one of us can enjoy the room. That one works wonders and sends him back to his bed! (esp when he tries to get into bed with us in the middle of the night)

Thanks Lochie, and good luck for your exam today!

My partner is considering a career change (to solicitor) and I was wondering if anybody has been in a similar situation (not necessarily to solicitor, any career change that involved study and training years)? I know of couples who have gone though this but nobody who has do it with a young child. I am not (overly) concerned about the financial aspects, but the loneliness and hard work of being mainly the sole carer for our son (weekends and evening study and long working hours during training). I have already gone through this before (hubby did a master's whilst working full time) but our son was a baby so I could still meet up with friends for the day and go to cafes, now he is 3 it would be a whole different game. I guess now he can have playdates and sleepovers etc, but I just wanted somebody to tell me it will be OK??

Yesterday my son (3 years) wailed 'I don't want you mummy' all through Greenwich.

Until our son was 2 we were not sure if we wanted another one because we were so tired all the time, however we decided to go for it and see what happens and let nature make the decision for us, and after trying for more than one year with no success all those discussions to arrive at a 'decision' seem pointless and redundant, so sometimes it is best not to over analyse something and go with your gut instinct.

My son was ill whilst we were abroad on holiday and the airline (I think it was easyjet?) let us re-schedule the tickets at no extra cost (with a doctor's note). They should let you re-schedule your flight if the child gets ill and you have already flown out, but they told me that if it had been the outbound leg of the trip I wanted to re-schedule (i.e. we had not left home yet) then it would have to go through the insurance (if we had one). It was not chicken pox it was an upset stomach. Years ago my sister in law developed chicken pox whilst she was on honeymoon (unlucky!) and she was told she would not be allowed to board the plane until they cleared!

I posted on this thread because I found the generalisation made by the OT amusing, but I get the sense that he/she is about to be outed and be ridiculed and I would just like to say that although I belong to the middle sometimes unwashed class and could take offence at the assumptions behind the post, I really would hate for this thread to turn nasty, so just a plea to please keep things in perspective and although some may not agree with him/her lets just keep it as an irritating opinionated post and hope that him/her conveys the message differently next time. And I agree with others that one should think before posting (a friend once gave me a wonderful piece of advice - don't write anything down you would not shout across a room)

Pleased for you, and yes I increasingly find that these days it is only those who shout the loudest who get, unfair but it works

My brother and I went to a very posh private school and I remember him and I getting nits at least once, at the same time, he had short hair and I had long hair, he has dark hair and I have blondish hair, he has curly hair and I have very straight hair, he used to hate bathing and I was a clean freak. We are not aristocracy but I had a rich great-aunt (since deceased so can't comment on her nits status). I think everybody and anybody can get nits. Very funny thread. I can still smell the stuff our mum put in our hair though.

I'd call the GP surgery again and explain the situation and make a big fuss and say it is ridiculous that if you have to wait 2 weeks to get a nurse appointment then there is something very wrong with their system or they are not employing enough staff. If I was told at my GP surgery I can't get a nurse appointment for 2 weeks I'd be mightily pissed off and they would hear about it. Sorry if this is not very helpful, I just get angry at bad level of care and I do think that sometimes having a bit of a rant is necessary.

For the last few months we have been plagued with bugs and illnesses and we have not ventured at all out of the local area, however this weekend it looks like we may be germ- and fever-free (fingers crossed) and I am thinking I'd quite like to venture out of of the Dulwich-Camberwell-Herne Hill triangle. But it is going to be wet and cold. Any ideas for places/what to do in or out of London (short day trip)? Ideally I'd avoid museums because from experience on wet and cold weekends they are heaving. Any ideas will be gratefully considered! Also, I am recovering from flu and still get fatigued very easily so a bracing nature walk is out of the questions for the moment (my preferred option for when I desperately need to get out of the area but not suitable for me at the moment, although a gentle stroll somewhere would be lovely). I should probably add that we have a 3 year old so activities need to be suitable for him too. Thank you!

If you are friendly with the other mums or dads at nursery could you ask if you could drop your child to theirs and they could take the children over? You could return the favour by picking up your child and the other kid and taking them to your house when they need that flexibility?