born&brED

Hi crescent, I recently froze over 100 cupcakes (un-iced!) for my mum's birthday party - they came out absolutely fine, even the carrot / lemon / orange ones. If you're in any doubt, do a test batch. They hardly take any time at all to defrost, and didn't seem to be soggy at all. Was then able to ice them all as near as possible. Hope that helps!

We have only used the 'safe paints' on walls, but there are safe paints for wood out there too. Try Ecos Organic Paints - seem to be free from all sorts of things!

So impressed with everyone! My arms are waaaaay too flabby to be feeding walking around! I've just got back from America, where I expected lots of mums with their bosoms out feeding in public. But not so! I was definitely a novelty in the town where my bro in law lives. The diners were a pain - fixed benches with about 30 cm between the back rest and the table. My 6 month old wriggler sounds just like yours, Ruth! Also fed on the ferry in New York with tourists practically standing on me to get a good pic of Liberty, on many many trains, in supermarkets - boy did I get some looks! Having said that the Americans were absolutely bonkers about babies, and we had too stop every 2 mins or so, even in Manhatten, for someone to coo! Worst place I fed was actually the plane - good old tiny economy class seat. I had to turn sideways which was really uncomfotable for 20-30 mins. On the return journey I planned to ask to feed in Business class (haha, they'd love that!) but in the end sat in the loo at JFK expressing his feed and enjoyed having my feet up on the plane while my hubby fed. much better!

I love my floral bouquet OiOi changing bag - comes with all the necessary bits and bobs, and (best of all!) it's wacky pattern provides hours of amusement for my son while I faff about changing him in all sorts of places... Oioi do a good few 'normal looking' bags too.

Thanks for that! Have been on the look-out for summery b-f tops - have been so used to hiding the lumps and bumps (and not-to-be-seen parts, of course!) under my winter knits and coats. Will try and pop along to Lewisham soon :)

haha! Well, whatever the figures, I now know I'm no loner in the assisted delivery boat! Good news - went to see the doctor today (lovely lady GP to save at least some embarrassment!). She said pretty much what ludoscotts said she had (I think) - I have a ridge along the scar as it has 'overhealed.' So have been referred to King's perineal clinic - hooray! She said they are likely to try creams and possibly freeze-removing it first, then at a last resort might un-stitch and re-stitch. The prospect of that scared me at first, but having read what ludoscotts said, I'll be up for it if that's what it takes. Husband's reaction: 'Is it a perennial clinic? So you have to return throughout the year then....oh no!'. Thanks again for all your advice, ladies! Feeling so much more positive now.:)

I can't tell you how useful all this information and advice has been - I haven't come across many people who have dealt with a forceps recovery (or similar), so I'm amazed at the response to this! I really am feeling much more positive about it all now. Thank you, SBryan for all that really useful information. Now I understand why medical practitioners may advise or even demand an episiotomy. I had heard that they cut away from the perineum towards the thigh in order to avoid a 'front to back' tear (yikes!). It really must be dreadful to witness severe tears when a woman has refused something that should take a shorter time to heal. At the same time, I can also see the point EDmummy is making - maybe you were lucky! About your midwife backing you up - I guess that really did help and encourage you. The Oakwood midwives were only available for home birth the night I had my son due to staffing issues, and, although I stayed at home for the first 25 hours of my labour (including 2 visits form them and using a birth pool, I was so mortified at my 1cm every 7 hours progress, and so in pain, I took myself off to Kings. Luckily I had an absolute angel of a midwife who was just amazing for the next gruelling 21 hours, but I did miss having an Oakwood midwife there, after doing my birth plan with them! I do wonder what may have been different - maybe nothing at all! Redemily222 - more encouragement - thank you so much! I'm so happy to hear about your wonderful 2nd birth (and so quick too! I think the length of mine was the worst part). I completely agree about the lack of after-care for women who've had instrumental births. Why not cut that perineum clinic queue and offer the pelvic floor programme at the first post-natal check? My midwife did tell me to do them, but I thought that was just a routine thing and not for me especially. Does anyone know where I can get hold of this programme (hmm, without the queue, ideally!)? Thanks for mentioning the perineul massage, Molly - I'd love to know the answer to your question. Anyone got any advice regarding it. Anna_r - i really hope the birth of your next child goes well - here's hoping for no (or little) tearing! I really hope that expectant mothers read this too! I'm already planning what i'll be doing next time round! Thanks again everyone!

Thank you, both ljs and HeidiHi for your encouragement - there IS hope - hooray! HeidiHi, that really sounds horrific - I can't say my experience has been that bad at all. Although I have sat on the loo in tears many times! I also remember that awful tugging sensation as I was stitched up (cannot for the life in me imagine that without pain killers which I've heard some ladies have - honestly, WHY put them through that?). Not sure why I wasn't told there and then that I'd been cut - thought I'd just torn! And how dreadful to then have infection too - I really hope you're feeling much better now! Think these posts should be published into a book for new mothers - On the subject of being offered an episiotomy or not, I guess they would never give a choice outright, but a strong will and back-up from a good midwife would probably help, like EDmummy said. That's if you have any strong will left in you - definitely in my case, after 46 hours of labour, I would have said yes to any question on the planet! And because baby's head was stuck, I would have given in to anything the doctors said...

EDmummy - I'll obviously need to state that (about not being cut) in my birth plan next time! Good tip

Oh wow! Thank you so much, everyone! I feel so much better already, just knowing there are and have been plenty more in the same boat who now feel normal. I will just have to learn to be patient! However, I may mention it to my GP if that's advised. I too was prescribed laxatives and stuff for *ahem* the other end too. Found that so awful while trying to get to grips with feeding and looking after the little blob at the same time. One thing I did hear at NCT is that atear is better than a cut - this, however, didn't seem to be an option at Kings. I knew I was being 'sewn up' after the birth but it didn't twig til the next morning that it was an episiotomy. Was never explained to me. Just about to google search what a fissure is :-$ Still learning all these terms!

Morning all! Have found the topics in this section very useful over the past few months being a first time mum - invaluable in fact! So thank you! Just wanted some advice and experiences on recovery from forceps-assisted birth and episitomies. It's been 4 months since the birth of my little one, and although I feel well in myself and I have been assured that my cut has healed well, I'm still very much aware of it! I'm pretty sure it's not infected, but have heard that it can take months to feel normal *around there* again and the thought of any more children, ever, scares me! Anyone out there got any words of wisdom for me? I'm presuming anyone who had an episiotomy or tear could relate (or assisted without either!). I have been completely unprepared for the recovery from this - before giving birth I honestly thought forceps just pulled the baby out, with no further complications. I breathed a sigh of relief when I narrowly escaped a c-section by a couple of seconds, but now I wish I'd been more prepared! I really don't think the antenatal classes I attended (NCT) talked enough about this. Thank you in advance! born&brED