MGolden

'Now I am not bothered about number 2 cuddling her teddy as I get to wash it at least once a week. And if she likes can go to university with it. To be honest, dummy bothers me endlessly now even though number 1 only takes it at bedtime. I have bought lots of presents to get her off dummy but to no avail, now we all agreed that on the night of her 5th BD, she will have to say goodbye...partner thinks I am being unfair!' Link - get the Dummy Fairy to come the night after your little one's birthday or his birthday will be ruined knowing that the dummy is going that night. We used a dummy with our first son (for sleeping only) until the night after his 4th birthday. Took him a few nights to get to sleep without it once it was gone but worth the effort. Son number 2 refused a dummy, liked sucking his finger and playing with his belly button! Much harder to get that one stopped!

Dunamis2011 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Hi I've had a week to calm down, step away and > reflect on all of this. Thankfully been contacted > by the school, which boosts my confidence. I am a > person that gets involved with my children's > education and not just leave them to the school, > but allowing them to do their job. > > I think deep down I know it is the correct choice > and after hearing about independant education and > reading 'To Miss with Love', am determined, with I > hope other parents and teaching staff to make > Kingsdale even more academically successful, but > having emotionally competent all rounded men and > women in whatever society that they choose to live > and work in. > > Their engineering specialism and that they will > teach Latin, which my daughter has been learning > from year 4 installs further confidence. > > I will no longer be a novice when I go through > this all again later this year! > > Thank you Dumanis 2011 - I'm sure you and your daughter will be happy with your choice. As a previous poster wrote - something about the school must have struck a chord when you saw it. My (Y7) son loves it there - we had none of the anxiety about moving to secondary school that I expected (well not on his part anyway!). I look forward to meeting you at the monthly parents forum. Michele

James Barber Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Hi Dorothy, > I'm arranging to visit Harris Boys School. > I'm also planning to arrange a visit to Kingsdale > School. > > Admissions policies are not easy or quick to > change. As lomg as Kingsdale don't change their admissions policy, I've got a son in Y4 in primary school and I would love him to join his older brother at Kingsdale!

We didn't want to find out either time but after having an amniocentesis (with our second child) I had an ante-natl appointment with my GP who told me we were having a second boy! I was just relieved we were having a healthy baby and didn't care what gender it was but I decided not to tell my partner. Our then 3yo kept saying he wanted a baby brother and we kept telling him he'd get what he was given. When our second son was born I told my partner I'd known since 23 weeks and he was really glad he'd still had a surprise!

Thanks Ruth, if only all conversations were that easy though, I fear much worse is to come!

No you are making sense, Ruth. I don't think my son thinks living in council accomodation is bad (at least I sincerely hope he doesn't). Essentially, he meant that the term is used in a derogatory manner. On the matter of swearing in front of the children myself and my partner don't swear in front of the children (for me a huge effort!) and like a previous poster our children (8 and 12 years) thought words like 'shut -up' and 'stupid' were swear words. One day my (now 12yo but then)10 yo came home from a summer play scheme and asked me what c*%t meant. I asked him where he had heard it and he replied that a boy at the scheme had asked him if he knew what the 'c' word was. My 10yo then said 'yes, it's crap'. The other boy then said 'no it's not, ask your mum when you get home'. A part of me thought it was really sweet that my son thought the 'c' word was crap but a larger part of me was incensed that this other child was trying to get my son into trouble as most parents would I imagine splutter a bit at being asked the question. So I said to me son 'when you go back to the play scheme tomorrow, wait until (other child) and you are near one of the staff then say, in aloud voice 'you know you told me to ask my mum what c'*%t means well she said you're one'. No not really, that's what I wanted to tell him but the adult in me won and I told him to say 'you know you told me to ask my mum what 'c*%t is well she said it's a word for vagina and she thinks if you knew your alphabet you would have asked me what the 'v' word was'.

BB100 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > helena handbasket Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > > > I would much rather have my son hear me say the > > odd swear word then have him learn to say > things > > like chavvy about people. I might hear Thomas > and > > his friends yell "dammit" from the other room > once > > in a while, but I have never heard my son use > > nasty terms about anyone and he does not know > to > > make value judgments about people. > > I was referring to chavvy as a state of being and > behaviour. Everything we think and say is value > laden unless they are absolute truths. So what does 'chavvy' mean? My 12yo (non-swearing (at least in my presence)) son assures me it's value laden and insulting and generally derogatory about people who live in council accomodation. When BB100 initially posted she said she didn't like swearing as (and I paraphrase here) it was too reminiscent of her unhappy childhood where her parents swore. Later it transpires it is because it is 'chavvy' but I really don't understand what she means by the word.

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>> > No, you are not at odds with the majority. What is > happening to Kingsdale happens to any popular > school that does not have a distance element to > their selection criteria. Now that Kingsdale has > turned itself round, it should perhaps consider > introducing a geographic element to their > selection criteria. Oh I do hope not, we live on the edges of Croydon, Bromley, Southwark, Lambeth and Wandsworth. Norwood School in lambeth is our closest school and wouldn't have been the right school for our son but is only 250m away from where we live. Dunraven is 1.79miles away and he didn't get offered a place there. We can't afford to move near to a secondary school like Kingsdale or the Harris Academy in Crystal Palace so random selection is our only hope if we want a non-selective school. I just hope that the school admission policy on siblings doesn't change as I have a younger son who is hoping to join his brother there.

tiddles Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > gosh I feel so sorry for all stress and > disappointments caused to families at this time of > year. It is not much help right now whilst you are > still reeling, but many people do get somewhere > they want on the second round (and later too). It > is dreadful that your children are put in this > position as well. > > Get on that phone and take up all the offers of > help that any councillors offer > > out of interest, how did people get on with > hassling the local authorities last year when they > were in a similar predicament? > very best wishes Last year our son didn't get offered any of the six schools we had put on our list. We live in Crystal Palace so from a distance perspective we were applying for schools in Croydon, Southwark, Lambeth and Wandsworth - so much for where you pay your council tax determining where your children are educated. We live in the LA of Croydon and declined the 'school' offered to us by Croydon. They said that the original school offered would still have places available in September so not accepting it was not exactly jeopardising our son's chance of getting educated. Sending him there would of course!! Anyway, we appealed to five of the six schools on the list although we didn't really have grounds for appeal for any of them. Our son was offered a place at Kingsdale at the end of March 2010 and I have posted on here before how happy he is there. It wasn't our first choice but it will be for our second child. Some of our friends children didn't get any of their choices but have found their children to be happy at the schools they have ended up going to.

Well done Charlotte for even trying potty training. With both of my boys (now 8 and 11) I didn't even try and waited until they said they didn't want to wear nappies anymore (2yrs 8 months and 2 years 10 months respectively). My younger son was absolutely adamant he 'couldn't' poo in the toilet and, like you, I really didn't want it to become some sort of issue. We decided he could continue to wear a nappy to poo but had to go into the bathroom to do his poo, ie no playing with toys or reading books etc. Mind you neither of them ever had a potty either as I figured it would be easier to just go straight to using the toilets (and yes, that meant peeing standing up!). It took the best part of six months but we had gone away for the weekend, he needed to do a poo and I said I had forgotten to pack any nappies (I hadn't in case it all backfired). He was absolutely fine about it and we never looked back. So, don't make a fuss, go along with him and it really will work out. How many five year olds do you know who started primary schools without being able to go to the toilet? good luck.

tiddles Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > yes it was not always clear, but it seems that if > you get a scholarship, and you are placed there by > the local education authority, then you will have > the chance to have those additional music/sports > or maths sessions once you are there. I have heard that this year they have had 900 scholarship applications. There is no way that everyone who achieves scholarship standard will be offered a place. My understanding is that a very small percentage will be automatically offered a place if they are incredibly talented (don't know what the criteria is) and others will be awarded scholarships if they are offered a place at the school. In my son's case he has a full sports scholarship which was confirmed once he had been offered the place.

Msgee Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I've got a child at Kingsdale in Y9. No complaints > here at all- though I don't know what will happen > with the change to Academy status... > > just a little aside- I understand that the school > is changing very quickly and that a lot of people > who wouldn't have touched it with a ten foot pole > a couple of years ago are now battering down the > doors! It always seemed to me to be a very > inclusive school and you got a real sense of > "every child matters" there- now I've heard from > open day visitors (ie 'new' people- not old 'uns > grumbling ;-)) that they're shamelessly courting > the middle classes- and I think I read something > similar on here last year. > > Is this true? or an unfair judgement? > > I really hope it's not true. One of the great > things about Kingsdale is its inclusivity imo My partner and I are people who three years ago wouldn't have touched Kingsdale with anyone elses ten foot barge pole let alone our own! As I said in my earlier post my partner looked around Kingsdale when our (now Y7) son was in Y5. He was bowled over and when I, reluctantly, went to look around in Y6 so was I. The small class sizes and sports facilities won me over. Moreover, since he has started there I have been struck by how racially and socially diverse the school is, exactly like London! His group of friends is diverse and reflects the society we are bringing him up in. As I said before it's early days yet but so far so good.

Both my sons had dummies. They were very 'sucky' babies and quickly learned to find them and put them back in if they came out at night time. I strictly rationed them to nap time, night time and car journeys (both were terrible in the car and the dummy soothed them). In the car I insisted they removed them if they wanted to speak. With both of them I got them to speak to the dentist when they were nearly four about stopping having a dummy (our dentist's sons both had dummies too). She suggested binning them (with the boys agreement) the day after their 4th birthdays. They did and after a couple of nights were able to go to sleep easily. Now they still sometimes make sucking nosies at night time (they are 8 and 11!!). Even writing this I remember how much I hated the fact they had dummies but I see friends children who at the same age as my children still suck thumbs and/or have comfort blankets and I think maybe we did what was right for us. Ultimately though Snoopy28 you need to do what is right for you as a family. Your baby is highly unlikely to still be using some sort of comforter when he is older. Good luck!!

womanofdulwich Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > i think she cannot be getting ?65 x 3 x 5 days > =?975 a week - otherwise we would all be doing it > . If she is then she will be paying higher level tax which would give her a take home pay of about ?2000pcm. Then you need to take into consideration holiday and sick pay. Plus insurance, cost of replacing toys etc when they break or wear out, central heating, hot water etc and the children of other people entertained, safe and well looked after. Not an easy job and no I'm not a child minder!

new mother Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Sorry but maybe I'm too exacting - I wldn't > consider employing a childminder/nanny whose > attention was not focussed on my child 100%. You > are not paying them to chat! Given that OFSTED register childminders to have up to three under 5yos I presume you are prepared to pay a huge ammount for a childminder to focus on your child 100%. What will happen if you have another child? Will you employ two childminders? My (now 8yo) went to a fabulous child minder who took him to play groups and looked after other children after school, he thrived in the environment. Other mums from the primary school my older son went to still had this childminder collect their children from school and I know they often popped in for a cup of tea on their 'non-working' days. It did my son no harm at all to socialise with other adults. Don't assume that because a childminder is talking to other people s/he isn't including your child in that. Telegraph - does your employer support child care vouchers? They are a form of salary sacrifice which mean they are deducted from your salary at source and you don't pay tax on that part of your earnings. Many child minders will accept them and they are a way of making the money you can afford on childcare stretch a little further as it is essentially tax free child care. It's certainly worth investigating if your employer supports them.

When my children were younger (now aged 8 and 11 so know how to cross the road) I used to make a point of making some disparaging comment about people who crossed the road without waiting for the green man. If they had children it usually included a comment pointing out that they clearly didn't really like their children as they didn't want them to know how to cross the road properly. I shudder now at how I must have sounded, self righteous and smug (at least!!). But I felt passionately that my children should know how to cross roads safely so I suppose I achieved my aim as they are both very sensible at crossing the road now. But, Moos, you did make me remember how hard it can be to try to do what we think is right when other people aren't doing so too!! Just do what is right for you at the time. :)-D

My son is in Y7 at Kingsdale. I had been ambivalent when my partner suggested looking at Kingsdale when our son was in Y5. When it came to selecting schools we were the only family from our sons primary school who put Kingsdale down, lots of people expected us to down the grammar route. We have been delighted with his start there. He is a sports scholar and enjoys the kudos that brings. I have found the teachers unfailingly professional and helpful and it is clear from my sons conversations with me at the end of the day (he's not a teenager yet so I get to hear how school was on a daily basis!) that his teachers often share his rather sarcastic sense of humour. Whilst I appreciate it is early days yet we feel confident we made the right decision in sending our son here. Interestingly, lots of parents from his primary school with children currently in Y6 are putting Kingsdale as first or second choice!

Alec John Moore Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Would be the fast-track appeals process that > opened a couple of weeks ago? Has anyone heard the > outcome of that yet? Alec We received a call yesterday saying we could expect a letter from Southwark offering our son a place. I'm not sure whether he reached the top of one of the waiting lists; he was on the sports scholarship waiting list as well as the banding one or if our fast track appeal had worked (we had not received anything regarding the fast track appeal other than a sheet telling us how likely to be unsuccessful we were!). Whilst I think the administrative process at Kingsdale leaves a huge ammount to be desired I have to say the people we have spoken to have been sympathetic and helpful. Kingsdale was not our first choice for our son but the attitude of Kingsdale staff in the whole waiting list/appeal process has been exemplary and we will be delighted to accept the place when we receive the formal offer. We live in Upper Norwood so not in Southwark but an easy walk for our son so, for us anyway, the Pan London system seems to work. Croydon's provision of secondary school places for boys is woefully inadequate.