anna75

interesting question - money, space, age, limited time and attention for more children, all these aspects will impact it. Il be interested to see what people think. I always thought the ideal family would be - B, G, G I do however know someone who had 5 children. The middle ones were triplets and were premature hence she had 5 children under 3 years old at one point!

Nat History? - tube from Victoria to Sth Ken Mudchute Farm - a trek but would give thema trip also on the DLR which can be fun for little ones. Boat on Thames - not great if raining but different Greenwich Meridian adn Observatory - interestig for parents at least! local cafe rouge etc for children... Horniman Gambado - a trek again to Chelsea though you coudl take the train to Clapham Junction then bus?

Gwod and HH, yes I quite agree. THere are a lot of peopel - me included - who will be reluctant to do the thing being forced upon us!

Belle, not at all. thanks for the comment. :-)

Belle, point taken - I was responding to this query in the original post. "IF YOU DIDN'T BREASTFEED...we would especially love to hear from you as we want a 'REAL' view of how people feel about it" Lousylu, Absolutely. we all try our best for these little rascals and we love them to the ends of the earth so for people to opine on others' choices of feeding isn't appropriate. it is all about freedom to choose. Exactly.

I b'fed for about 2 weeks but most of my friends don't even consider it. Their "real" feelings (to quote your query) are probably along the lines of great relief for these reasons: 1. they can get a good night's sleep ev two nights 3. Daddy can feed the baby all weekend while they sleep, if necessary 4. it is perfectly adequate and nutritious 5. they can get back to work asap I read frequently on these boards about women feeling "guilty" about not bfeeding or or made to feel guilty by others (worse). There are so many studies that indicate formula is perfectly adequate for babies that I find this all very strange and have to ask - the third parties who make others feel badly about their choices, what are these people on??? Formula is quick, cheap, perfectly nutritious., the father can get involved and do his share of night feeds. In summary, it's great. Now, this is not in any way to argue against bfeeding. I just think everyone should be left alone to do what she thinks right for her baby.

tbh it was 100 times better than friends have had at chelsea and westminster, which is a filthy dump as far as I have seen and to my surprise. eye mask and ear plugs - great suggestions.. perhaps some lemon juice to dilute to make the water more interesting? it is v hot so you must drink and also important for flushing out anaesthetic and getting digestive system back on track. they shld not let you going without evidnece bowels are workign normally. (possible complication is an eilius - spelling is wrong but it sounds like that)

yes the food is frightful but that's easily fixed. (as a digression, wldn't it save the NHS "bed days" if they invested in food?) I was more concerned with cleanliness - immaculate in my loos and showers both days - and surgeon's and anaesthetist's expertise. All of these I was more than satisfied with.

All very good advice. All I can add is that I had a great experience and am grateful for it. The post natal ward is MUCH better than eg at Chelsea and Westminster where friends of mine have been forced to bf for example. (Unacceptable in my view to "force" any vulnerable recovering woman to do anything.) 11pm is late enough for visitors! Otherwise there would be a horrendous racket all night and not just from babies. Recovery from C- section in my case was easy. I stopped the Voltarol and paracetamol painkillers on day 3, largely as I always want to know when my body is in pain so I don't repeat the activity causing it. I did too much though on day 3 et sec. I was running up and down the stairs with loads of washings to go on/take out/hang up etc. Also moving furniture as I wasn't happy with our set-up at home when I realised the reality of having a new baby. That all puts you back. I was, probably, 97% well on day 3 but it took me till about the full 6 weeks to be 100%. Instead of what I did, I would really recommend staying in bed for day 3 and 4 perhaps and trying to get back to the 100% in a shorter space of time. I think you will have a spinal block cf an epidural. I read up on the difference in great detail as I was concerned it was just an NHS cost saving exercise. I don't think it was and I was totally happy with it in the end. Your bp will drop massively in the operation but they are prepared for that and manage it easily and quickly. Other advice - mmmm - I would take some nice nighties etc as it would have cheered me up. I took old rubbish as everyone said to do that but with all the photos and visitors etc I regretted it. Also, take your own shampoo etc. I had assumed all that would be provided but it wasn't. I think most people with a section get mobile on day 1 - ie 24 hours later - and it wasn't at all difficult for me. I did a long walk on day 2 around the wards etc and to take the baby to cheer up an ill friend elsewhere and that was a bit tiring I remmeber. Lastly, if sick from the morphine, as I was, it is really painful to retch as it invovles the stomach. They kept trying to give me more morphine for the pain of retching ie setting up a vicious circle. I said no thanks and was fine thereafter. good luck but you won't need it :-)))

mm, tricky. I can see why you want a hb and, equally, I can see why relatives and friends are getting nervous about it. Are any statistics available about safety/lack of incidents/lack of MRSA etc?

oh gosh Ruth, I wouldn't think twice about it and certainly wouldn't feel guilty. If the baby isn't putting on weight bf, then he needs formula and you are doing absolutely the right thing by providing him with it. We made up 4 or 5 bottles at a time and kept them in the fridge. I should point out that this is NOT what is recommended nowadays - the guidelines changed about 2.5 years ago before which it was fine to do this - but it is the only way that worked for us, given the 25 mins cooling down time etc. We went out most days on trains etc, across London etc and just took the made up milk with us. My baby happily switched between warmed and not warmed milk largely by chance as we didn't have much of a clue about childrearing tbh. When she had injections, however, I became paranoid about getting as much fluid in as possible and I didn't want her waking through hunger so I always gave her warmed milk to guzzle down. The other advantage of this (which also applied when I was expressing for the first few weeks) was that my husband could do some of the feeds. He really loved being invovled like that and it was also a great help to me, mentally, to know that I would get a good night's sleep every second night. Hope that whatever you do works out and that you are happy with it. ATB Anna

mark warner hols? they certainly USED to be great but I think less so now owing to charging for eg waterskiing etc

sorry Moos, too busy to answer your msg. Trinity, thanks again for the helpful reply ciao ladies

thanks ladies; it seems there is defnitely s'thing in this concept of confidence/relaxed hormones/s'thing similar leading to good birth experiences. No doubt there are various studies on it out there..good luck to you all whether pre/post birth. Anna xx

Vicki, it is well known that JAPPS entry is by competitive assessment, thanks.

Thanks very much Trinity. Rhubarb, I was looking for specific nurseries rather than unsolicited thoughts on how to bring up my child, thanks.

I've had a baby recently and said no to the HB option. My reasoning was that if something goes wrong in labour, it might need immediate intervention which cannot be provided at home. How did you ladies get over that issue in your own minds? Was I missing something?

hi, which nurseries have a high % of children going on to JAPPS please? (Montessori has told me v few of their children make it which surprised me...)

they will give you a risk factor for chromosmal abnormalities which, from memory, if worse than 1/300 means they will suggest a cvs or amnio. Risk of mc with either is around 1/100 which i found quite high personally. plenty of friends came out at 1/350 for example and didnt have amnio. One friend came out at 1/2500 (aged 40 starting risk 1/70) and she still considered amnio or cvs though didn't in the end. One thing is good - Kings bascially gives what i consdier the basic level of 12 week scans. I say basic as it is the same as for all private 12 weeks ones. BUT i gather it is unusual for the NHS so take full advantage!

oh dear, I feel for you. I need my sleep and that sounds awful and almost like torture to me. Really awful. I am surprised you can post a coherent message! Thoughts How much does he eat during the day? If low, can you take him out in pram during day, get some exercise and fresh air for him and increase his appetite? dummy - no idea as I don't know how they work for a newborn or anyone who has used one. headache - see below own room - we moved ours out at 4 weeks I thought I was hard done by as my 11weeker sleeps from 11 to 7 while other friends' babies sleep 12 hours!! your story is horrendous though. Has he a natural or difficult birth? I have hard that either can result in a terrible headache for babies and it is that that makes them cry. Can you try cranial manipulation? (by an expert obviously) THinking it over, most of my friends' births were elective sections and none of these crying issues arose so maybe there is something in the headache idea... Lastly, we have done nothing that the books said. We fed on demand and the baby herself has set her routine and sorted out her little life. I wonder if there is something to be said for the theory that babies cannot relaly be trained and will change/sleep when ready for it. I don't know. It is our first baby and I cldn't be bothered with NCT classes so we just followed what the baby wanted.

You can't - you give them the best and widest education you possibly can to enable any abilities they have to come through. YOu don't need to choose a pressurised independent school btw. There are plenty of relaxed ones where academic learning is not the be all and end all. (As can be seen from the league tables quite clearly. Alleyns doesn't do all that brilliantly for exmaple...)

thanks Sledge. (now I don't believe that is your name ;-)) Yes, quite right, JAGS and Alleyns are selective which is why I want to send my ch to nurseries that are able to "prepare" them, inasmuch as a 2 year old can be prepared for anything....

"Given the privileges a private education gives, I can't see why people who can afford it and aren't opposed in principle, end up with their children in the state sector?" Fuschia posted the above and I think it is a very decent point of view... It is very clear to me - any money I have will go on my children's education. End of story. I have 2 not 3 as we could not have afforded 3 sets of school fees. I have no understanding of parents who have the money but choose state education (in the absence of the principle F above refers to, obviously).

Can anyone recommend a good nursery? (It's important to us that it should have links with/send children to JAGS and Alleyns. Im in the ridiculous position of having a 2 year old and thinking about schools!) Many thanks for any thoughts you have....