Lochie

I have a second hand bugaboo and I do like it as can switch the baby between facing outward and facing parent. However, when my son was first born I lived on the 3rd floor of a building of flats and can tell you it was an absolute nightmare to even attempt to get it up and down and in and out of landings and stairwells. You need to take into account how big your lift is before buying any pram I reckon. My mum was a teacher too and marvels at parent facing pushchairs as she claims they didn't have them in her day. I get a bit annoyed at all this 'research' we get bogged down with - maybe it is useful sometimes, but what do the other people who can't afford/don't have parent facing pushchairs do? Surely the human race wouldn't have become so intellegent if it depended on parent facing pushchairs! I would go for the pram you like the best and is most practical, and if that is parent facing so be it. To be honest my son from the age of about 10 months preferred looking out at the cars and traffic and people than looking at my chatting face - so I am not sure how long the merits of parent facing prams last for anyway. Totally unscientific answer so sorry about that, but just speaking from experience of having battled with a pram whilst living on the 3rd floor! I am sure if your lift is big enough though you can take your pick....

I really agree with you sillywoman about our culture and its poor support of postnatal women. I remember I saw a doctor a month or two afer giving birth who told me about some time he spent in Ecuador, where women gather round and share birth stories like war stories, as a way of normalising the process, and as a way for women to vindicate the life changing event they have been through. So they share their stories like badges of honour, and then praise one another for their overwhelming achievement, which has come in the form of their beautiful baby. It is a shame we don't have that kind of capacity to talk about birth experiences in the western world. When I was about 8 months pregnant a colleague of mine at work was bragging about how she did the Asda shop the day after she had given birth - and so my expectations of how I would feel after labour were far removed from what I actually experienced!! I could barely walk for days! Also sillywomen it is interesting what you say about being a 'tiger', as I remember asking my Mum (as if she'd know!) why nature makes labour so hard, and why on earth it is the woman that has the burden of feeding as opposed to the man after experiencing the exhaustion of labour. And she said that it is nature's way of ensuring that you fight like a tiger to protect your child (after all you really have been through the ringer to produce him/her), keeping it from harm, and allowing it to prosper into adult life. And if I ever have another child I will remind myself of that as my boobs leak and nipples bleed and 'undercarriage' heals!! It is all worth it though, a million times over....

Am sitting at my desk at work eating horrible microwaved soup, reading your blog entries, and need some more, it is addictive!! Can you post up your blog here so can carry on with the read?? Some bits left a lump in my throat!!

There is a play group at St Faiths on Red Post Hill by North Dulwich Station from about 10am I think - run by mums, ?2, big hall full of toys. My own mum takes my (nearly) 16 month old there and says its good for burning off some of his energy! Think it can get very busy though...

I know it might not look so good, but have you thought of doing it yourself? I cut my son's hair in the bath when it is wet and he is distracted by toys. I have seen hairdressers offering cuts for c. ?15 for toddlers and I cannot even fathom how they would get my son to sit still in a chair for more than 30 seconds without wanting to get down and/or flailing wildly and incurring the wrath of some sharp scissors. My son is 15m so maybe it gets better the older they get. Anyway, if you can bear it, doing it yourself might be a good option!

Thank you everyone for your ideas - have decided to go for Locanda Locatelli. I have been there a few times and I know my Mum has wanted to go for ages. I was surprised to hear suggestions of Locatelli and Claridges as they are so beautifully pristine and I have visions of my son pulling a white table cloth off and all the china on top, but may as well give it a try!!! Thanks again :))

I am sure most women with difficult MILs would be the first to admit it can be gender specific - I think there can be unsaid territorial issues that go unmentioned. For example my MIL has two sons (always refering to them as 'my boys') and I have always had the feeling that she feels a bit threatened by having another woman in the family - and I am the only one as my brother in law doesn't have a significant other and hasn't for the whole time I've been with my husband. My DIL is an angel and has never shown difficult behaviour to me at all. Perhaps as well the daughter in law role needs to be a little more tolerant (in my case at least!). One time my MIL charged into my kitchen and used the magimix without asking and I very unreasonably got in a huff about it because I felt like she was encroaching on my territory.... Though there is no excuse for bad behaviour I have found it much more common in MILs than DILs...

Am assuming you own your flat? Do you have regular freeholder meetings? We own our flat and are in share of freehold and have maybe twice yearly freeholder meetings. All meetings are minuted and any issues voted on. I think that legally something like this would need to go to a vote between freeholders, if you cannot come to decision amicably? Good luck, I know what a bore it can be....!

Hello Gussy - I have a difficult MIL and really sympathise. Having kids makes things very tricky as you probably realise that she is the grandmother of your children - yet by choice you might not see her if you didn't have that link. Funnily enough, now I have a child I have no qualms in telling MIL to back off and/or answering back to her comments, whereas before children I might have bitten my tongue. My son is 15 months old, so at the moment probably doesn't detect the tension, though I can see why you are worried about your children picking things up. Here is what I do to try and get through the periods that we have to spend together i.e. weekends at her house, Xmas etc: - Rise above it. I know it's really hard esp. if you know that you are in the right, but often, as in my situation, I believe that reacting achieves the outcomes she is looking for i.e. drama - Remember your other half - he will no doubt find this very stressful (am assuming he gets on with her ok??). Therefore appearing to be the more reasonable party in any conflict will ensure he supports you in any dispute You mention HV/GP/counselling - therefore am assuming you want to resolve the dispute somehow? Is it just attitudinal differences or did something in particular happen? It sounds to me like you are looking for a mediator who isn't involved at all with the family - so perhaps a family counsellor? With regards to 'surviving to tell the tale', I never quite get to the point where I refuse to see my MIL anymore (though believe me I have come close), instead I just take it as part and parcel of family life, and as we only see each other about once every few months I just put up with it. Not sure I'd have that attitude though if I had to see her more frequently than that.....

Thank you Keef yes have thought of the Palmerston but my mum has lived in the area for 40 years now (and generally frequents La Chardon quite a bit) so wanted to take her up to town for something a bit special. Useful to know about the Palmerston - might consider going there with hubby one eve just the two of us....we haven't eaten there yet...thanks for tip

Thank you everyone this is so kind and useful!! Am sure one of these will be a winner! thanks again

Not sure this exists - does anyone know of a good/well renowned restaurant/or gastro pub that is kid/baby friendly??? Looking for an eaterie for a special family birthday in April and want more than just the local bistro. Doesn't have to be Michelin starred but want something a bit special as its for a 60th. Don't mind whether its up in town or local as it would be for a lunch for about 8-10, with a 3 month old and 18 month old.... Thank you!

Hi Saila, I am having the exact same problems. My son is 15m and someone told me to just do it cold turkey but I have tried and by the time we get to 3pm he has hardly drunk anything all day so I give in with the bottle. He will drink water from a sippy cup but refuses milk. I have spent about 20 quid in the last two months at Sainsburys trying different cups for him. What I would say is: - Stick to one type of sippy cup that you put the milk in so he knows that the milk is in THAT one, don't confuse him with lots of types in an effort to find which one he likes. We have found that our son generally likes the Tommy Tipee. - Do it gradually. A few weeks ago we had got to the point of reducing him from 2/3 bottles of milk a day from the baby bottle to just one (before bed), and he was kind of taking sips of milk during the day from a sippy cup - Keep all baby bottles out of site when you are not using them. My son gets in a rage when he sees one and cannot have it, even if it belongs to another baby! All recent attempts have gone out the window as we are on holiday and he has been ill so we have had to go back to baby bottles for now. I had to see the nurse yesterday to get a prescription for him and I asked how much fluid a child of his age should have and she said 'I would imagine up to 1 litre but its not really my remit' (great thanks nurse!). I cannot believe he needs a litre, it seems like so much - so if you find the answer to how much fluid a baby of that age should have let me know cos it would really help put my mind at rest as I wean him off his beloved bottles!!! Good luck

I can second Kings dermatology. I had a condition called purpura post-natally - it was under the skin too and is like the rash you get with meningitis (doesn't blanche under a glass tumbler and very bright purple/red small spots). I was seen very quicky by Kings dermatology. They did the big checks for lupus and other autoimmune disorders....but thankfully for me it is not very serious and I have been told 'it is just one of those things'. If you are linked into Kings dematology you not only see an expert in skin (the consultant I saw chided my GP for not knowing what she was talking about with regards to my skin!!) but get given an SOS number so if the complaint flares up you can see someone that day so they know what you are talking about (I know what you mean when you wait days for an appointment and by that day the condition is almost gone - very annoying). I had a massive flare up on honeymoon and thank goodness got to see someone the next day so it didn't spoil things for me too much and meant we could fly to Italy later that week. They really investigate things properly as I had a biopsy and full blood tests and in the end was told the main triggers to avoid it are stress and alcohol (sob). So defo worth asking your gp for a referal - I saw Dr Morris Jones who was fab and also an irish lady (might have been dr Creamer, also fab). Good luck.

Thanks everyone. I had heard about the vibrations training and it sounds good to me, but do you actually get a cardio work-out from it? Not sure I really understand what happens?! Don't really care as long as it works!! Anna - yes defo up for joint effort next year!! And belle...thank you very much, but appearance of trim waist = spanx and leggings pulled up to my boobs under jeans = pretend flat tum!!

Thanks Ruth - i enjoy swimming but know motivation is the key here - I know if I pay for a class and HAVE to go I WILL go because when it comes to exercise I am laaa-zzzzy. Am wondering if there are any aqua aerobics classes around or did that die out in the 90s?? Never seem to see them advertised anymore!

Does anyone have any tips on the best exercise to lose a baby belly that GENUINELY works??!! Time is limited due to usual work/study/baby etc etc, but am determined from Jan I am going to squeeze in at least one class a week. Am sick of having to undo the top button of my trousers/skirt when I eat - doing this after lunch just now at work felt SO wrong!! I walk lots with the buggy and am generally running around lots, but 14 months on my stomach is getting bigger not smaller ;-( I did Legs Bums Tums and Pilates both once a week at Push Studios over Summer but didn't really make a massive difference. Am not looking for washboard stomach just want to be able to go clothes shopping again without feeling a bit rubbish! Don't worry no exercise will be undertaken til 1 Jan!

I remember my husband reading Christine Hill avidly in the months before I gave birth. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Perfect-Start-coping-months-parenthood/dp/0091917425/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1293023972&sr=1-1 I read it too and it is probably the most accurate guide to new parenthood I have read amongst the zillions out there! Would defo recommend...

Hi Lisa, my 14 mo has very much been on and off like this over the last month or so. He has had a combination of sniffles and temperatures but to me it seems more to do with a developmental change, as he has not been ill the whole time. It is upsetting and frustrating for us, as like you we kind of just about had the sleep thing sorted (or so we thought!). Now for the first time, instead of milk, the only thing that will comfort him is sleeping in between mum and dad after much distressed sudden crying a few hours after he has been put down to bed (very angry crying and almost a bit confused as if he has woken from a nightmare). My mum has suggested that maybe he is getting afraid of the dark, but I am not sure. All this and am sure that teething has something to do with it as well.....if only they could talk! Anyway just wanted to share our experience, I wonder if something happens about this time that creates a shift in their patterns as it is happening to our little boy too. Just to reassure you the last three of four nights he has been a bit better and last night he slept through thank god!!! So am sure it'll be short lived. Going to the docs is a good idea though just to be sure good luck x

we used to put the kettle on and that would get our new baby off to sleep - not very environmentally friendly though! There is a white noise sheep thing you can buy from mothercare - we never purchased but it might be worth a look: http://www.mothercare.com/Easidream-Ewan-Dream-Sheep-Comforter/dp/B004FJA9TO/sr=1-1/qid=1291897635/ref=sr_1_1/277-2851638-9654611?_encoding=UTF8&m=A2LBKNDJ2KZUGQ&n=42764041&mcb=core

My husband's birthday is on boxing day and still feels put out at the age of 30 that he doesn't get separate presents on xmas day and his birthday! Maybe with a child you could take them on a special outing the week after xmas?

thanks both....hmmm yes dummy is interesting. He did have a dummy at about 12 weeks old but rejected it when he was about 6 months old so we thought we were lucky and have tried not to reintroduce it, but maybe that is an idea. Thank you gnulover you put my mind at rest, I guess I can't force it. I went as long as possible yesterday refusing to give any milk in bottle but by 3pm gave in as he hadn't really drunk any fluids all day. Managed to put him to bed last night though without a bottle which was a big first hurdle, so have decided to do it little by little - first thing is to stop him going to sleep with a bottle, the rest will have to follow! And Ko thank you I did burp him last night as per your suggestion before putting him down after his milk and he didn't puke, so probably worth doing that in future. thanks all! x

My 14 mo boy will only drink milk out of baby bottles (i.e. the tommee tippee ones he's had since birth with soft teats). I've tried to give him milk in sippy cups with a spout but its a no go. He will drink water out of sippy cups, but because I am never sure how much fluid he is getting I have stuck with baby bottles for milk. He also now will not go to sleep without a baby bottle of (cows) milk - this means that for his pm nap and bedtime I have to give him a small baby bottle of milk (or watered down milk) as it is like a bit of a dummy to him, he likes to suck on it until he is asleep. If he wakes in the night he also will not go back to sleep without a bottle of milk. This is now causing serious problems as again last night he woke up covered in sick (third time in 2 weeks), I know its not good for him to be lying on his back and drinking milk at this age and it seems to be causing him to vomit (not surprisingly). The problem is when I have tried to go cold turkey from the bottles its awful. He gets into a massive state when trying to sleep and the only way he will calm down is if he comes and sleeps in mum and dad's bed, which I don't mind really, but I don't want to be posting again in a few months asking how to wean him off sleeping in mum and dad's bed!!! Anyone else struggled with transition from baby bottles to cups? I know cold turkey is probably the answer but we have all been ill with flu and I work and study as well so am trying to prevent major sleeplessness as I can't really afford not to sleep :-( Thank you in advanced from very very tired mum

My mum has just retired as a primary teacher and her best presents were the john lewis vouchers that the mums clubbed together to buy - she LOVED them... Also she loved getting hand made cards from the kids and still keeps them today... Think she was always touched by any pressies though but most useful were JL vouchers!

Hi New Mother, we have our son down for Nelly's on Turney Road in Dulwich. It does fit the 8-6pm day length that you require. When I went to look around in the summer, I was really impressed. There is some outdoor space, its not huge, but its well kept and they make good use of it. The kids seemed really happy there (from what I could see anyway, and I peeped through the fence to see what they were up to before knocking for my offical visit!) When we signed up though we were put on a waiting list that we were told was '2 years long'!!! They have opened another branch on Lancaster Avenue in West Dulwich so not sure if this reduces waiting list. I agree, it is hard with the cost situation and nursery v nanny, and I know that Nelly's is on the upper scale of cost depending on how old your child is. However, Nelly's was the only place we looked at that had 'full days' not half days, so we don't have much to compare it to when it comes to full time nurseries.....