Lochie

Thanks for all these tips. I know its just 'normal' tiredness as had blood tests 5 months ago and all fine so its not health related. I just think I still cannot get used to being woken in the night then at 5/6am day after day - I don't think I ever will! Good tip re spirulina - never heard of it but will check it out this week!!

Yes I think that is the problem. i have such an awfully sweet tooth and have to follow every lunch and dinner with a sweet. Today it was a krispy kreme. Then I get that afternoon sleepy lull and I know its probably the sugar. I eat very well other than the sweeties, always home cooked meals and red meat regularly so doubt if its an iron deficiency. Thanks for advice. Might start trying berocca too to see if that peps me up. Either that or some hard core drugs!

I go to something called Stay and Play at Rosendale every Friday 10-11.30....age 6m - 24m....

Can anyone recommend any natural energy boosters for tired parents? Not sure if such a thing exists in reality. But I'm just so tired (as are the 99% of all parents I am sure)! Had a rare 7 hours non stop sleep last night but am still so sleepy at my desk at work despite having gone out in this beautiful sunshine at lunch. Does anyone have any tips? Unfortunately I hate coffee so can't rely on that, and don't have enough time for exercise at the moment (though I do walk alot with buggy). Just wondering if there are any super-foods or supplements that experienced burnt out parents find actually work?

just another thought - have you considered using your 'return to work' days to try out whether you like being at work, before you actually commit? Can't remember what these exactly entail but know they involve you getting paid for full days work, whilst receiving maternity leave, without actually going back to work fully. They are useful to integrate the mother back into the workplace slowly. That way at least you'd get a taste for going back without actually commiting....

ok thanks recycling sounds like good option

I am about to embark upon a new nanny share from mid March. On a few of the days I will likely need to be involved in a share with another family for their 5 month old. What is the status quo with the double buggy situation? (my son is 17 months). I know the other family don't have one, and I don't really want to buy one as don't anticipate trying for a second child for a few years, at which point a double buggy won't be needed anyway as our son will be too old. Anyone know the etiquette on this?

Hi radnrach, I think every mother who is considering returning to work whilst on maternity leave has felt the way you have at some point. I know that I did and think it is totally normal. I have answered your points below from my own experience: 1. I LOVE being back at work. Even though I was unsure that it would pan out I went back just to see. I felt a bit emotional the first day I went back but honestly, as soon as I shut the door and realised that I had the whole day to myself I loved it! You will be surprised how much you can do from a multi-tasking point of view if you do go back to work as well. For example, any shopping I need to do in central London is now done during my lunch hour on the days that I work. I would not be able to do this if I didn't work (at least I wouldn't be able to do it easily) as my son is a really bad shopping partner! 2. My boss is extremely accommodating and I am very lucky that I can tweak my hours and go in earlier say on some days and later on others. Legally you are entitled to request flexible working and your employer legally has to consider it. Have you discussed this with your company? You might be surprised by how flexible they are. 3. No - this is really difficult. For example I am meant to be working from home tomorrow afternoon and will be looking after my son as well and don't really think I'll be able to get anymore done than answering a few emails (no doubt with him trying to take a swipe at my laptop with his mucky hands). I did have a bit of a childcare conumdrum a few months ago (now resolved), and my boss actually said I could make up one of my working days by working a few hours each evening over the week. From this point of view then yes, you could potentially work at home. But not sure you'd want to give your evenings up and depends how flexible your job is. 4. A few weeks before I had my son I changed career (albeit within same employer) with a view to studying and working part time after my maternity leave. This has worked out for me. I work 3 days a week and study every Saturday when my husband looks after my son. My course takes 2 years and it is hard work balancing the three things, in fact it is often chaotic. I only manage it because I have great childcare support from husband and my mum. Without that I think it would be very difficult - so you need to ask how you would balance everything if you did change career and costs of childcare if earning less etc. 5. Only you can answer this question but I don't think there is any harm in going back to work for a few months or trying a new job for a few months and seeing how it goes. You mention that you would not see your child whilst he is awake, but as they get older, only in a few months, their awake time increases so much. My 17 month old is awake from 6am to 7.30pm and one of the loveliest feelings I have is getting off the train at 6pm and going home to do the bedtime routine with him. He is so pleased to see me and I don't really begrudge spending the day away from him if it means we have such a lovely few hours together before bedtime. I think for any key carer getting the work/life balance right is so very hard, and if you want to be a stay at home mum that is fantastic and at least takes the 'juggling' aspect out of the picture. I like the contrast that comes from working 3 days a week (adult time) and looking after my son the rest of the time. However, I never take for granted that I have a very accommodating employer and great childcare and I think that is the difference between it working and it not working....

[pre] [/pre] I do agree with you Keef. I think some women feel so tied to the child (having carried and nursed it) that they just cannot let go and let the man do some of the practical stuff related to the child. I have an amazing husband who helps with all the chores but I still think I can do them better than him. I hen peck him alot for his version of cleaning (he thinks tidying, but not hoovering and dusting, IS cleaning) and he is incredulous that I unload the dishwasher at the same time as feeding our son in his high chair, as he just does not 'get' multi tasking in some respects. When I think about how I peck away at him I think how crap that that is. But its only because I still, 17 months on, cannot believe how hard the pregnancy/labour/new baby is physically on women, and men do escape that physical hardship (apart from the sleepless nights of course!). I will be very interested to see how Clegg's paternity leave proposals shape up and the uptake rate of the 10 month paternity leave option for men, if it comes to fruition: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-12204079 I work in HR, and I know that things are changing, but it is not so long ago that men in the City were frowned upon for taking paternity leave at all. My husband's ex-firm (financial sector) do not even pay more that statutory paternity, and eyebrows were raised by one of his bosses when he extended his paternity leave to 4 weeks when our son was born. Laws may change but I think it'll take a long time for attitudes to change....

...and thanks Fuschia too. The thing with books is they almost always have a 'slant' no matter what they say (was clearly gullible thinking the What to Expect series didn't!) and up to this point I have generally not referred to them at all and used my instinct. But am finding the start of toddler-hood a bit of a head-scratcher and am now referring to them more and more to find out exactly what it IS that my son wants. Guess he'll be speaking in a year so that should resolve a few issues (and no doubt create some more!!!)

regalia - thank you - have tried warm water bottle! Sometimes he takes that but then stands up in his cot with his arms out crying afterwards, so it is definite comfort that he wants :-( saffron - yes I know it IS the norm in many cultures. It also feels very right to me on a basic level. I know if I didn't work and was a 'home maker' there wouldn't be as big a problem with this as I wouldn't have to get up and work - and I guess traditionally that would have been my role and is the reason why co-sleeping remains the norm in other cultures. In those cultures being a mother is seen as a primary vocation whese as in the West it is seen as more as an 'add on'. Which is a bit sad really. And yes I totally agree with your sentiment about the elderly. SummerMum - your comment about 5 in a bed made me laugh!! Funnily enough it sounds like total bliss to me, having all the family snuggling up together though I realise the sleep deprivation that entails makes it less blissful in reality. Sometimes I wonder why we haven't evolved our houses to have a big padded room with nothing else in to make it possible to accomodate the night-time needs of a squirming growing family! dollydaydream - thank you. All posts have made me feel a bit better. Sometimes I just want to chuck all the books in the bin. Think I am going to shelve them for a while at least ;-)

Genuine question, as I don?t really understand ? but what is the problem with co-sleeping from 1 year +? Until the age of 1 my son was a very good sleeper. From that point though, he seemed to pick up bug after bug - normal I know (he is now 17 months). Night time sleep for the last 4 or 5 months has been difficult, and the bottle of milk that usually settled him no longer works. With some of his worst bugs (painful ear infections with fever etc) I bought him into my bed to comfort him to sleep. The problem now lies in the fact that he wakes in the night and will not settle unless in my bed. I have been referring to ?What to Expect: The Toddler Years? recently as I find it quite neutral, practical and offers arguments from both points of view. However, this book suggests that co-sleeping is bad bad bad, even in the case of molar teething for which I feel I have no choice but to comfort him in bed with ibuprofen etc. I have tried the controlled crying route but after about an hour I just can?t bear it anymore. I went in a few nights ago after resolving to stick at it, to find him sitting-up cross legged in his bed sobbing into his teddy (lump in throat just thinking about it). At that point I just thought ?How can I leave him crying like that it seems too cruel? and scooped him up and back into our bed he came. So co-sleeping for us actually works (except husband sleeps on single mattress in our room which isn?t ideal). It is a real way of us all getting some sleep during the night. However, I know it can?t go on forever and will at some point have to nip it in the bud. As I work and study I keep delaying trying to fix it because I can?t afford to have no sleep (though I have some time booked off in April and will tackle it then if I have to). - I was just wondering if anyone can tell me of the long term effects that co-sleeping has on toddlers (good or bad?) - How on earth do you comfort a child that has bug after bug without co-sleeping? - Does controlled crying actually work ? at what point is it detrimental? Perhaps I am asking the unanswerable, but am desperate for advice from those with older children who know what is around the corner. Though co-sleeping is the better of two evils as the moment (the other being leaving him in his cot to cry into oblivion), I am genuinely starting to find it detrimental as my sleep is so patchy and am feeling a bit resentful of the fact that my little lord is calling the shots....

My 17 month old is walking pretty steadily now and I am thinking about reigns. Yesterday I lifted him out of his car seat onto the pavement whilst I retrieved my bag and he took one step onto the road and it gave me a bit of a shudder! I've just looked online and there seem to be loads of options. Are there any that are better than others i.e. are the backpack ones better than the wrist ones for example? I can imagine putting a back pack on my son and him having none of it! At the moment I am just holding my son's hood or hand when walking on the road to stop him bounding off, but it's starting to do my back in! Are reigns any good?

www.holiday-rentals.co.uk Have used this several times over the last decade and all properties have been good

I am having major sleep disruptions at the moment due to molar hell in my 16 month old. Started off like you Ruth - really against bed share, but now we are sharing a bed nightly as it is only way anyone can get any sleep. I know I am creating a dependence and assumption that this will always be the way, but don't care really as I hate to see him in so much pain. I guess the key signs for molar teething is hands in mouth when he wakes up. I went to the doctor today as it has got so bad and wanted to check it wasn't his ears that were the cause. Doc told me that molar teething starts around this time and can go on for a while :-( I was given liquid ibuprofen as Calpol really wasn't hitting the spot and have started him on it today so am hoping that will help with sleep tonight (praying more like!!!). Anyway, it may not be molars that is the cause for your little one, and I do sympathise with the added strain of pregnancy as well!! What I am trying to say really is don't feel guilty about co-sharing - at the end of the day I figure just do whatever you have to to get you through the bad patches and it'll all come good in the end! I did a bit of googling and the molar erruptions and associated sleep disruptions can last a few weeks, so am sure it'll all be sorted out long before your second baby arrives....

what to expect - the first year Good for dipping in and out of when you don't have much time to read in depth! I saw a second hand one in good nick in the Herne Hill Oxfam bookshop for ?3 the other day so if you live near there defo worth popping in...in fact they seem to have loads of recent new mum/new baby books in there due to nappy valley factor...

Hello, can anyone recommend a really good routine book for toddlers? Doesn't really matter if both boys and girls but am starting to understand that boys do act quite differently from girls after hours of watching play group activity... Am at an age now (17 months) where I know my son understands consequences a little and he is starting to get a little pushy which is exhausting especially at night as am not getting much sleep. Wasn't previously a baby book person as went on 'gut' instinct, but realising I could now do with some pointers. Have looked at Gina Ford's toddler book on Amazon but slightly put off due to her school ma'am attitude in the contented baby book. Maybe her toddler book is better though? Any pointers gratefully received....

Thanks Anna - life saver x

Can anyone recommend good interview questions when interviewing a nanny? I have got an interview booked this evening at short notice and my mind has gone a bit blank as to what to ask her. I work in HR so don't have a problem with the more general 'competency' questions - but I have never interviewed someone for childcare and am wondering if there are any good Qs that will convince me she'll do a good job! (its only an informal chat and am not an Alan Sugar so no need to worry about the poor girl!) Thank you

anna we used a hotel babysitter when we were on honeymoon (for the UK leg of the honeymoon!) on about 3 occassions. The hotel booked it all for us and the rate was ?10 an hour. If the wedding venue is a luxury hotel then I am sure they would supply this service regularly as it is probably very much in demand, and would imagine that the sitters are all properly vetted etc. Only downside is that its a bit stressful leaving the babies with someone they don't know in case it upsets them. But I always told the sitter to call me if any problems and it was only a climb up a few flights of steps up to our room again, it all worked well for us. Understandably though you have got two and so can see why ideal situation would be nanny so you can just relax and enjoy the wedding....

Hi newgirl, My son had this over Xmas. It went on for about 4 days untreated, as soon as we got the drops it cleared up within 48 hours. I would say if it hasn't gone within a week of diagnosis you should go back to doc. Do you struggle to get the drops in? It was a nightmare for us and sometimes I couldn't be 100% sure they went in his eyes, so are you sure you are getting them in properly? Also for the first 24 hours of drops we were told to use them every 1-2 hours and then every 4 hours for the 24 hours after that. So frequency of use is important. Good luck, its so sad seeing them with their eyes stuck together!

wow pebbles that sounds awful! Obviously not going to the dentist enough as I've never had pep talk about fruit but then I guess I probably don't eat as much as I should, maybe that is a good thing now. Apparently when I went to primary school they used to give out little cartons of orange juice like they did with bottles of milk, how things have changed. All comments really useful thank you, I will keep off the juice and give him bits of fruit to eat instead in moderation, he loves bananas so thats good as I would imagine they are fine for teeth. Thank you again for such good advice

Probably being a bit thick but why don't adults have this drilled into them about fruit juice and teeth? Or are adult teeth less susceptible to decay? We get the whole 'drink one of your five a day' drilled into us all the time...confused!!! Thanks for all responses, sounds like juice is a no no or very rare treat! Getting liquid into my son full stop is a bit of a battle as I'm trying to get him off the baby bottle. He does like cartons with straws though (although annoyingly not beakers with straws) so if anyone knows of low sugar drinks with straws i can give him then that would be much appreciated?!! Not sure if you can get cows milk in a small carton for kids? at the mo am relying on SMA in small cartons but would prefer cows milk....looked in Sainsburys the other day but no joy

Thank you Polly, that is good to know. And yes comment on clean teeth too, though he is currently at an age now where toothbrushes are the enemy. Fun fun!

Sorry this is a bit of a boring question but I've tried goggling for the answer and can't find anything conclusive! My 16 mo toddler loves drinking orange juice from my glass and loves drinking from a carton too - is it ok at this age to give neat juice? I don't have a problem with watering it down but when I do Mr Fussy won't drink it. Does anyone know? Thanks in advance :)