Huff 'N' Tumble

"Hosting a Gold party is profitable in various ways. Apart from selling gold and earn cash the host can get good commission on the revenue generated. The idea here is that while you enjoy the party ambience you can still earn money, which is quite fascinating." Just don't invite any competition. "The first step would require you to contact companies that provide specialized services for such events." Why? "Some organizations even provide gold buying kits that include scales, devices for determining gold content, gold party tips, gold prices, etc. A gold tester, magnet, and a jewelry scale are the essential equipments of a gold party." What, no one to bite the coins/goods? "This concept is extremely popular due to various reasons such as getting instant cash for gold, social gathering with friends and closed ones and turning unused items into spendable cash. Such parties can be organized either at your own home or at a rented location." I.e - a lock-up. "This sounds great and even fantastic but there are certain things which needs to be avoided. The seller must visit jewelery shop before going to a gold party and have your gold weighed. In this way you can avoid loss in gold party. Make sure that a reputable gold company is involved that can be trusted." You'll get more if you sell at a gold shop or pawnbrokers. Fact. "Some gold party companies offer help in terms of providing host with wine bottles and other beverages to ensure that the guests are comfortable." Vulnerable, more like. "Selling gold at jewelery shops bears the risk of not getting the fair value for gold and thus landing up making a loss." Wrong. Jewelery shops are regulated by the Office of Fair Trading. Your gatherings aren't. "However, selling gold in the company of trustworthy friends and closed ones is quite secure. Attend or throw a gold party and I am sure you will enjoy selling gold in the company of your friends and that too with a very good return of your unused items." Why not break out those loose teeth while you're at it.

Wolf? Such a dirty word these days, so I'm told.

"Are you wolf?" Are you sober?

Handing in yer badge eh, Mockney?

Drain cleaner?

"Don worry, u ain' be betrayin' yo ass declan. Wee cooool." Practicing embarressing your son already, Mockney?

Apology accepted.

"Won the gold medal for worst haircut didn't she?" No. She got bronze for the least conspicuous Adams apple.

"Who?" Don't you remember 'Da Man' who made curling cool. Briefly.

*Bob*.

Curling has probably got to be the most embarressing 'sports' to watch. What next, Olympic window cleaning?

"The best advertising happens when you have to sell an abysmal product with a budget of ?200" I agree *Bob* although your proposed budget tips towards the absurd. However, the ads shot on a budget such as Cilit Bang and the JML products all rely on their inovation as much as - or more than (it's debatable) - the quality of the advert promoting them.

"Ooo! it's like a work of art Aah! it's more than just an advert Ooooh! and it's in black and white and everything." It's undoubtably true that the 90's were favourable to minimalist black and white adverts that featured models with a thousand yard stare but they're now a thing of the past which anyone whose not presently wearing a prehistoric pair of Reebok Classics and a Phat Willies t-shirt will know, *Bob*.

I don't know whether to bite my lip or beat my chest, to be honest. Do you enjoy making me feel at a loss, Brendan?

Predictable aren't you, squire.

No ????. Do you wear Gordon Gekko braces?

"We Buy Any Car is a work of freaking genius and I'll offer to step outside with anyone who cares to disagree." No. That advert was the work of someone who still can't fit the right shaped pieces through their matching holes. The same could be said of their customers.

"Nope, there're 9 letters in hungry horse." Eleven, actually.

Only if he advertises Shark repellent.

The two exceptions in modern advertising though are Audi and Guinness. Obviously.

being rudely drowned out by . In the first offering we imagine our hero has just alighted from Kings Cross on his quest for that elusive book. He's always polite, but over the course of the production the formalities are replaced with a growing sense of despondency that we all knew he expected. With his hopes turned to ashes he returns home to be greeted by a concerned loved one. His forlorn sulk permeates through to the living room only to be healed by such a biblical resource. His rejoice at hearing that the stockist at the other end of the line is in possession of the Angling holy grail is met by an expression last seen on his face at the signing of the armastice. As a target audience we applaud the product on offer, and praise the advertising nous that cause us to reach for our hankies. The second offering looks like an arcade game that leads us to post threads like this. What happened?

"It's coming back to me now, the girl from Press Gang with the big boobies? That's the one sir. They were like two puppies fighting in a sack when she ran for a scoop.

Stenders equivalent of Kristen Shepherd? Lisa, obviously.

Beppe.