Roll Deep

You didn't have time to answer my question. Did you get the platform announcer to provide the voice-overs for that clip?

Did you get the platform announcer to do the voice-overs?

"Oh my God.. you're not getting them engraved are you?!!" Wont that void the warranty?

My tip for enduring a sexless existence is to go and buy yourself a remote controlled helicopter. After you've worked out how to get the bloody thing off the ground you'll have endless fun strafing cyclists and skateboarders alike. The affair will be so distracting you'll soon forget about piffling matters such as love and affection. I know I did. Oh, and stock up on tissues.

"I?ll make a note of that for my next purchase after I?ve paid off the electric coffee stirrer." Don't jump the gun Brendan old scout. In the early nineties I dismissed an advert describing the dental bliss provided by an electric toothbrush. She now sits next to my 'airbrush' for when the mirror can't hide the future.

The Independent. http://fotosa.ru/stock_photo/Rubberball_JI/p_792572.jpg The Indecisive. http://www.editorsweblog.org/independentclimate.jpg

South London Press. http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2190/2457009695_ca1eda6911.jpg?v=0 Gossip Mongerer. http://farm1.static.flickr.com/18/71221669_8abf57a35a.jpg

The Telegraph. http://cornerstonegroup.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/fox-hunting-1.jpg Pro hunting. http://www.gordonclown.com/img/20070224/telegraph-23feb07.jpg

The Daily Wail. http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_OH2Mj4YHnqw/SKaV3X5PPlI/AAAAAAAAAFo/B0qjx8YLiSw/s400/Alf_Garnett.jpg Alf Garnett http://singleworldofideas.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/daily-mail-front-page.jpg

The Guardian. http://axiomofapathy.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/white_flag_xsmall.jpg White flag. http://www.rosenblumtv.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/art116guardian455.jpg

It would seem that any holes a goal in the England camp, eh ratty.

What I can't understand is why he downgraded from his wife? Far better looking compared to who he was caught up to his nuts in guts with.

I know, but it's warm and I'll know people there. Isn't that ironic?

Barry road. Date: Unknown. Source: Assumptive. http://www.mindfully.org/Reform/2005/Jean-Charles-de-Menezes24jul2005.jpg

Sleep tight, and don't let the head bugs bite, RosieH.

"These people read the Guardian you know." Then they deserve to be shot at.

"But I wanted one "on fire" Or one with wings, at least.

Yes, but with a healthy dash of Terry Thomas.

"Jon Terry scores away from home." Shame his wife found out.

He's certainly hinted a few unsavoury speculations but like you I'll live through it.

Yes. The focus of my snide comment.

It barks, supposedly.

I view customers of Aldi and Netto with the contempt they deserve. Lidl deserves more attention. Yes, in classrooms up and down the country the kid who brings his books to school in a Lidl bag will naturally be on the recieving end of some pretty severe torment i.e - "ha ha, my hoover eats better than you." However... Although a trip to Lidl will certainly draw your attention some produce that looks suspiciously like it was flung out the back of an aid flight over Kosovo, and sent back, the booze aisle will throw up some welcome bargains. After the economic downturn I've noticed that off-licences have followed the supermarkets example of passing the financial burden on to the customer. 8 tins of Kronenbourg was ?6 in 2007, it's now ?8. This, in my opinion is unacceptable. My brother told me of the great deals you can get in the Lidl bbooze dept, and after much speculative assumption as to whether their Scotch is made in Egypt, I decided to tag along. I was right, their Scotch is most probably made from Nile water, but they do sell a really nice beer called Grafenwalder. It's a really nice Pilsner at 4.8% vol that costs 75p a can. I haven't looked back.

I don't shop in Waitrose either Ladymuck. I forage in Sainsbury's along with all the other scum.

"Anyone got any cunning tactics that actually work?" A bit late now, but you should ideally leave the paintballs in the freezer overnight before the day of the event.