PeckhamRose Upon reading your account of enjoying the long neglected delight of an afternoon walk to shuffle off the slumber of Sunday lunch, my heart leapt with agreement. I too enjoy a regular, bracing walk around the local parks. And occasionally, if no one's looking, pub. My route often takes me to the breathtaking vista offered by Crystal Palace Park where the statues once kept a wary lookout. Its quiet, and offers me room to contemplate in such a vibrant metropolis. Following this I like to wander through the village down towards the Alleyns Head for a jar, or two. The village is so inncoent in early spring, a gentle remminder of an idyll once so commonplace, but now a pasture for wealth and property. Weather and time permitting, I like to finish off in Dulwich park with my easel and paints. That aside... I find myself slightly affronted by your attitude to a small boy relieving himself in public. Obviously a girl hitching up her petticoats on the Rye is an abomination against her sense of self respect. The last - and only - time I can remember seeing such a pagan act was after I'd finished with a wench in Calcutta. And even she had the decency to make sure I was looking the other way. In short, we'd have rather too effete young men who would no doubt be too good with colours. I don't think we'd have been able to dish the Hun if Tommy was too busy looking for a bit of privacy, do you? I just hope your partner gave the young scamp a conspiritorial wink after the little blighter had finished watering the pavement to let him know everything was alright. Despite his female companions disapproving scowl. Concerning fast food outlets and alehouses. I'm afraid times are changing dear gel. Just the other day I was caught short outside a pub on a highstreet nearby and popped in to point percy at the porcelain. Imagine my surprise when the ruffian of a landlord - you know the type, denim jacket worn over a football shirt - inquired as to why I hadn't bought a drink. I explained that I was merely using his washroom and was leaving. He then subjected me to a thoroughly un-cricket lambast regarding patrons and the facilities. I tell you now, I very nearly beasted him with an empty bottle for all to see. Fast food restaraunts are the same although there's a little wheeze you can employ to fool the management. Usually you wont be challenged and therefore your bathroom visit is coined 'a Mcshit'. If on the off chance you're challenged before using the facilities you must claim to be buying food after finishing up in the toilet. This is known as a 'Mcshit with lies'.
