Roll Deep

PeckhamRose Wrote: Families being the women's job/role/responsibility? Or what. If you read the Telegraph...yes.

And so it begins...

Isn't it obvious.

Where real mullets walked...

Local West Ham fan who recently welcomed a new daughter into his brood. http://chroniclesofjared.com/wp-content/images/mullet.jpg

Now you really have seen everything. http://www.birdwatchersdigest.com/blog/uploaded_images/RedBellyMullet3-747919.jpg

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_JVVaXmiE24g/RmOvIHn9RjI/AAAAAAAABWc/VynoQAJN5Fo/s400/league+of+mullets.bmp

During some recent correspondence with a monied gambling enthusiast on a popular networking site my attention was drawn to an unabashed picture of the individual concerned sporting a mullet. This particular mullet had obviously been professionally coiffed at great expense, of pocket and dignity, and could even induce a cringe across the entire east German football team. What concerned me further however was that this person seemed to be proud of the disaster sitting upon his bonce. I'm not entirely sure how long this episode in the young gentlemans furore into the obscene carried on for, but thankfully it is no more. So if your attention is accosted by a similar monstrosity then write in to tell us about it so we can share the humour. Although you must adhere to the strict discipline of catagorizing the haphazard hairstyle. 1) The Fe-mullet. A female mullet. Often sported by women with large rimmed glasses as well as a shell-suit jacket who can be found shopping in Iceland. 2) The Mullet-kid. By far the cruelest form of parental neglect that's often tapered of into a 'rat tail'. Actually, if you witness this contact social services. 3) The Skullet. Sported by 55+ men who were never let in on the joke. This object of humour see's their chrome-dome jacketed by tiresome locks that have greyed a bit. 4) Midget Mullet. By far the rarest of combinations. Last seen on Conan The Barbarian. Although it's rumoured the guy who operated R2D2 had one. 5) The Afro-mullet. It's extensively groomed. This mode of mullet is set aside for the dedicated 'chosen few'. It's curly yet almost smooth in it's sheen with no characteristic sharp edges found on the common mullet. 6) Business in the front, party at the back Mullet. Most common with the eighties band/groupie kids. This is unsurprisingly the most untamed form of mullet that has many knots and gnarls through lack of grooming. Over to you.

And they say Pigs can't fly.

Age is irrelevant. The ability to misbehave is essential. Man or woman.

You fellows have no idea what you're missing. On a friday night my brothers Aubery and Hephaestion pop round so we can all enjoy what you're all clearly lacking. A police scanner. The fun usually kicks off at around eightish with a few minor pot dealers being dragged off their scooters. Pub fights normally start at midnight but it all fizzles out around then. For the real 'doors flying off hinges' action, you ideally have to be up around 4 to 6 a.m. Weekdays are pretty bare, although the takeaway connoisseurs amongst us will surely benefit from all the appreciative radio messages between officers rating the dish they've just burped through to HQ.

Liquorish = Coven of the 'metropolitan elite'.

I'm surprised you can fit so much in your bindle.

I bet you drink it straight from the can as well.

Cadbury.

Apologies Hal. Forgive my haste. Da Dandy man http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/9b/BrummellEngrvFrmMiniature.jpg

david_carnell Wrote: I say, you've been reading my book haven't you?! Without wishing to offend you David, no. It's just that if one looks deep enough in one's sartorial soul and sensibilites, one shall find a Beau Brummell in all of us dandy's.

Volume or VAT?

Coupled with an appreciation of boot laces.

It's easy Mick. Bad news should always be accompanied with good booze.

Quite right too. You should be ashamed of yourselves. I know I am.

Or place in office desk for those fridays where the late afternoon drinking tomfoolery has got out of hand to the extent you've been challenged to Karate chop a desk in half. I shouldn't need to explain where the tie will be worn.

"An da forecast for today is heavy to sceptic."

Not as naughty as voyeurising your fellow road user.

Just like when you see ambiguous clouds on the horizon, you tell yourself you didn't just hear the entire nation gently exhale through their nostrils and muse "I'll just get the washing in".