The Eye

Good job Sean. Thank the man mazza.

"I had the neighbours from hell, rap music, garage mc's with speakers like wardrobes bought in one day. They'd have 3 day parties , guests would smoke crack & heroin or weed on the balcony till the whole thing petered out." Although (thank god) I've never actually suffered such an invasive problem such as these brats, I'm more than aware that these so called parties never really are the kind of parties where anything exciting or fortuitous happens such as meeting members of the opposite sex, branching out socially or simply enjoying yourself. No... Rest assured that those attending these soirees will no doubt all be huddled around an Xbox or some other socially stunting contraption, smoking whatever they can get their hands on whilst listening to awful music in awful surroundings. They're in the false hope that they're winning by coming across as unapproachable/intimidating and generally pissing everyone off, but are in fact the one's loosing out in the sense that they'll be the one's always kipping on a mates sofa whilst everyone else gets on with their lives. I hope this provides some small comfort.

Internet cafe.

For over a decade now men and women have been judged by the size of their mobile phone. In the early naughties everyone in classrooms and offices alike was terrified of being lumbered with a phone that would invoke that embarressing shrill: "Ha, ha. Look at the size of that brick. You could slip a disc humping that thing about!" Now it seems, with the introduction of the miraculous iphone that size is no longer an issue when purchasing a new phone. But to get a fair picture of current trends, we have to look at each genders requirements in detail. Men, as practical creatures, have traditionally favoured strong and sturdy equipment in order to 'get the job done'. So the length and girth of the early Nokia 2110 with it extendable ariel and no-fuss keypad certainly impressed the others with it's strong silent exterior that held a complex inside no one quite yet understood. It also gave off the impression you were amply provided for if you carried it in your trouser pocket. Women, as decisive creatures, have always stood firm by the daintier of mobiles. This is dictated not by any means of practicality, but simply because they want more room in their handbags. Pretty obvious really. However... With the recent availability of the internet from service providers, a new trend is now emerging, a compromise, for the sake of argument. Although many still strive to find that phone the size of a fingernail, most are now settling for middle ground hovering around the 5 inch region for length by about 3 inches in width. A startling comparison to earlier generations who saw no shame in strutting about with a seven incher. So today, although noted, size is debatable at best. So the old cliche still stands: Quality over quantity.

I reckon Sooty and Sweep have been running the show all along. Sooty looks like the bossy type. http://www.bbc.co.uk/threecounties/content/images/2005/03/04/sooty_sweep_150_150x180.jpg

dau ballet.

Sorry, let me rephrase my latest fusillade. Eire is a majestic isle that has furnished it's grateful neighbours with many a loyal subject who've strived to uphold the same level of decency and fair play that both nations hold so dear. The literature and academia that has impressed many scholarly John Bull's is in infinite supply and shall surely set the standard for generations to come. Also, Sharpe wouldn't have been half as good without the Paddy fella.

That's for me to know and for you to really try and find out.

Well all I can say is that this thread has thrown up some worrying notions to say the least. First and foremost, it is physically impossible not to like Stephen Fry. His funeral will make Diana's look like a provincial carnival, although with more tweed. Secondly, Peepshow is probably one of the best written comedies I've seen in a long time. However, it wasn't written by either Mitchell or Webb. For that reason it's bullet proof because That Mitchell and Webb Look was diabolical, and they wrote it. Now for Gavin and Stacy... I'd rather watch my toenails grow. When I heard they were awarded a second series all I could picture was Horne and Corden hugging and kissing the legs of the Beeb exec's who were cruel enough to put another cringe filled nightmare on our screens for a second run. After being awarded a further series, it wasn't the legs I could picture Horne and Corden kissing and stroking, near abouts, but definitly not the legs. Stacey is pretty though, and lives in east Dulwich.

The gentle beckoning of Eire back into the loving embrace of the U.K is long over due in my opinion. It's high time we bolted the back gate and fly the Union Jack over Dublin castle once again. Then we could legitimately poach their Rugger players. O'Gara would look so much more charming in white.

"Don't think TM would spell monstrously with an 'e'," I was just testing you, whoever you are.

"How does the above recommendation help?" Apologies. The original recommendation was nudging the OP (cazkid) in the direction of Edward Woodward's The Equalizer due to the popular asscoiated newspaper ad that put people in touch with our fictional vigilante: "Got a problem? Odds against you? Call the Equalizer." A prudent suggestion at the time but the new recommendation is, I feel more blunt, and to the point. Because when your knee-caps are in jeopardy, the music goes off. Good hunting.

May I suggest. http://www.armouryinaction.co.uk/media/shotguns/sawnoffdb.jpg

I think that along with any other 'independent' being, it will be rather like bringing up a child, but one you can turn off at night. Seriously though, even if humans were capable of creating AI, they're still a very small community to be responsible for the outcome and any negative impact that goes with creating a machine. If we were safe in the knowledge that the boffins had indeed created an android capable of masquerading as a human, would we want it? I think that they'd be overuled by those funding the research in that the governing body/purse-holders would want their scientists to focus on a realistic application for the machine i.e - recovering wounded from the battle field, performing surgery, etc... Basically, any AI will be created for comercial gain. And the creators will want a return on their astronomic investment. So for my two cents, I don't think there'd be any serious discussion as to whether they should be treated as equals seeing as they'd have known no other life other than to serve humans. Mine would anyway. As for any hanky panky with a robot, we've all seen what happens when you put your sisters dolls in the microwave.

The only conclusion I can draw from these gaudy beacons of deplorable taste is that serve as a reminder to Santa Claus not to forget them on his journey. This is because the occupants of these ostentatious nightmares had poor parents who spent their money on alcohol and lottery tickets instead of presents of any value for their children. So in adult life, after being so monsterously let down by an absent minded Father Christmas, they unveil the landing lights in the hope that Dasher and Prancer will spot them from on high. Divs.

A purple jumper. It was intended to accompany a pair of brown cords that have a suspiciously worn look to them which leads me to believe that either my father is loosing interest in the present buying tradition, or he just thought I wouldn't notice he was gifted them two bloody Christmases ago. I shall be buying my parents matching Zimmer frames next year in revenge. Not that I want to appear ungratefull. It's just these things need to be nipped in the bud.

When you say installations, are you drawing attention to the frightfully working class displays of bad taste? If you are, then I'm afraid I've no 'fab' recommendations to offer. I don't know if it's because they have more occasions to celebrate (being wealthy 'n' all), but the homeowners in Dulwich village seem to have a more reserved, yet charming Yuletide decorations and don't insist on 'pimping' their property to the point of wanton abandon. The tree is meant to be on the inside, if you know what I mean. Then again, they probably don't drink Stella Artois either.

Really? I thought they were human-been-there-conned-them-into-a-T-shirt.

Dog owners. Instead of carrying on with the vain spectacle of cleaning up after your pooch so as to allow the less vigilant pedestrians to avoid the embarressment of treading in dog mess, simply start adding British Rail (or whatever PFI hoodlum now precides) luminous paint to their food. This simple addition will draw the preventative attention of the hapless 'turd trampler', in that the offending article be visible in the dark. Think 'cats eyes'.

The Catholic Church. http://www.michaelspornanimation.com/splog/wp-content/S/PPcover.jpg

http://lordwhatsmymotivation.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/cruella-1.jpg

How much more are the government going to shower upon these entities that spend more speculative wonga on subjects that roll more eyes than address pressing issues? The National Audit Office thundered a damaging press release to sympathetic broadsheets (namely, the Independent) calling for these think tanks to be scrutinised by a fresh pair of eyes. In other words, people that don't read The Telegraph. In this scrambled release, a lot of attention was paid to the amount spent in consultancy fees paid to recession bleeding institutions such as PwC and Deloitte who are in the habit of jumping in bed with any Tory back Quango. Much has been discussed about the efficiency of these Quango's, but more has been paid to those staffing these comedy acts. What seems to be common ground for the layman and expert alike is that they seem to be an excuse to 'give a mate a job'. Lining the pocket of a fellow friend, or...you know...boardmember, has long been a Tory tradition thats set in Etonian stone for many kin to follow suit, well, fill one anyway. Figures indicate (numbers, not suits) that this scandalous squandering is where the cuts should be made, but where the cuts (and bruises) will be most felt. Felt in the sense that they'll push more monetary assistance to those on the public service frontline, and push more of the clowns making these - oh so key decisions - into real work whether it being stacking the shelves for their mates at M&S, or making a worth while impact in enviroment they currently operate in. You can just picture the last helicopter leaving Saigon.

"As the machines become more sophisticated, they will increasingly seem more like humans and could demand ?human rights?, Anna Russel, from the University of San Diego warns." Who knows, they may even get an ASBO into the bargain too.

Am I alone in assuming that no concrete change will be brought about by the latest in a string of embarressing hand-wringing events carried out by officials with clothes pegs pinching their noses to block out the stench of the bullshit they're handling. The Hutton inquiry was sold to an anxious public promising to shed light on the mysterious death of Dr David Kelly. But what happened to the so called 'inquiry' element of the whole saga? It was snuffed out by ambitious war-mongerers quicker than the focus of the report it was 'supposed' to be investigating. What wasn't run by the U.S embassy was scrubbed from the truth to calm anyone who showed even the slightest of interest. Leading the whole charade down the slope of disinterest until all you heard in relation to the inquiry was the paper shredder consigning another swath of the Amazon to make toilet paper. The Iraq inquiry is yet another of these so called inquiry's that seem to be near conclusion before any of the general public is even aware of whats/whose being discussed, or indeed, accused. The question being 'did we need to go to war and was it legal'. Well, in the general scheme of asking these questions it's escaped any of the esteemed judges as to whether any serious charges should be brought against renegade decision makers. So far so good for those under scrutiny because for all the harrumphing and staring the panel has made it known to the media (aswell as those in the spotlight) that no criminal charges would ever likely be brought into discusion. I don't know if the Met office is aware that there's an unacceptable amount of hot air amasing above Copenhagen as we speak. What will mother nature make of all this climate vandalism on her behalf. The clouds will certainly be feeling the heat in any case.