The Eye

Anyone else notice how much the head of their space agency Anatoly Perminov resembles Alex Ferguson?

Pain.

"I've had to make a few very quick decisions for my own personal safety in the past." I think we've all had a look at 'those sites' in the past sir. You're only a click away from marital breakdown when you least expect it these days.

"Looking forward to the warmth of the summer and blue skies." Or in other words...

"I believe that Dulwichmum is knocking them out, makes them in the bath, uses her kids to distribute them." To quote the manufacturers of said product: "wonders never cease."

Or in the village, 'coitus creams'.

No they're locally known as 'shunting buscuits'.

The bankers will get their bonuses. There'll be another Top Gear accident. Cowell will run for Government. But we'll vote for Cheryl. Brown will reach number 1 in the charts.

"As an aside, I think that today's young people are also probably a good deal smarter than previous generations." I can't help but not only agree with the above sentence, but applaude its insight.

Ahem, where did my suggestion dissolve to?

"But given a choice, I will stick with a drink thanks." Likewise.

My first experience behind the wheel. Through out my childhood I looked at driving a car as no big deal, I mean what could be so difficult about putting your foot on the gas and directing it with a steering wheel. Fast forward to my teens... The day after passing his test my friend bought a Ford Escort 1.2 lt for ?400. Fairly good condition apart from a dodgy electric window but apart from that it was sound as a pound. There were 4 of us, me, him and our respective younger brothers and we shared a few beers and sat around chatting. Then the question of if any unlicenced drivers would like to take it round the local carpark came up. On arrival everyone had a go without incident. My turn came and to my surprise there was alot more to driving than Batman had demonstrated. I was hopeless and grated the clutch to its owners distress. After a while I sort of got the hang of it and started to get braver with the gear stick. I slipped it into second and we started going a bit faster but I still had control. My 'instructor' then encouraged me to go up to third gear. By mistake a put it into 4th and the vehicle lurched forward but in my panic I stamped on the accelerator instead of the brake and I kid you not, about a nano second after my mistake a child skipped into my disaster path. I don't know how but I steered around her at about 70 mph and narrowly missed a reversing van. After I came to stop I got out of the car and threw up. If it were not for my quick thinking I'd be in prison on a death by drink driving charge. I've never drink driven since.

Pidgeon nets above Favourite Chicken. Pile of leashes out the back of Yi Ley. Way too many mouse traps in east dulwich deli. Cocktail sausages being sold in Franklins, now that's wierd!! Iceland flogging fois gras for ?3. Refunds at the deli counter at DKH.

There's a Leper colony underneath Gourmet Burger on Lordship lane - fact! I Hope that will add some flesh to the carcass of any juicy/hammy story you're hoping to get your teeth into.

You've lost me there.

"You are too clever for me". Don't take it to heart. "But you still owe me a tenner (or a pint). Do I? We'll have to discuss it over a drink/s.

"What does a wink from a girl mean?" Letting her mates know she wants to leave. "Never been sure how to take it myself." To heart.

After 10 G's you'd need a proper drink.

Something definitely going on there with Billy Idiot not making a 'dancing move'.

You'd need help after 10 Senokot's.

"A few swift pints of Guinness usually does the trick." Chased by a few Senokot's.

"And where were you?" Keeping a look out!!

"I like garden paths BTW." Well, it all depends on which you prefer being lead to. "Press ups?" Not at all. We were rewarded for penetrating enemy lines that were drawn during peace time.

"Only child?" Not with his attitude.