BB100

what fireworks? I've only heard one lot this year and it lasted 2 minutes.

I've just heard about a secondary school who are making all their children wear poppies at school. Can they do that? I thought it was wear your poppy with pride, not wear your poppy with pressure. Doesn't it go against all what poppies stand for?

juno Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Thank you so much - I will think about some of the > methods for calming/avoiding scenes. It's not so > much that he has classic tantrums - it's almost > like random acts of violence! Sometimes over > excitement, or boredom, or tiredness - like it's > an outlet for his emotions. And I know there is a > lot of normal 2 yr old naughtiness - running away > in sainsburys giggling etc - I know this is not > unusual but it's just he doesn't seem to react to > any kind of telling off - he simply doesn't care! > > One thing that I find works quite well to avoid > the 'i'm not coming, I don't want to go out' > scenes is to repeatedly and calmly tell him what > we're doing today...and warn him that we will be > leaving soon etc as I find that if you spring a > trip out he reacts. It's sounds like you're doing all the right things and just need some reassurance that you are and that it will get better. The throwing water and the running off sounds very much like he doesn't understand the implications of some of his actions and also he doesn't know some of your expectations. Telling him very firmly with direct eye contact 'you are not to throw water on the floor again, do you understand? I don't like it because...' and 'when you come downstairs from your nap I want you to do xyz and not disturb the baby' and 'when you are hungry you need to...and not...'. This will help him to learn social rules and the emotional literacy Anna mentions and can break some unwanted habits.

The terrible twos can be a really difficult age as they suddenly discover that the world doesn't really revolve around them and yet they also realise they can influence the world and so are constantly testing the boundaries and your patience. There are no foolproof answers but there are some things that can help. Firstly, it can be helpful to find out what triggers the tantrums. Spending sometime observing your child and keeping a note of what happens before and during the tantrum can help track triggers. Taking it in turns with your partner to see how each other handles the tantrum and feedback on what works and what doesn't can help (but be prepared to hear and accept some home truths). Secondly, you must keep your cool. A low voice, even whispering, calm body language and direct eye contact. Bend down so you are at eye level. Hold their hand loosely. Saying something like "look at me please so I know you are listening...thank you...I'm not happy with (say what). I want you to (say what)". Try to find out exactly what their problem is (ie. what is the problem with the bits in the pasta? There maybe a valid reason) Then give 2 choices: one should be what you want them to do, the other should be the consequence. (i.e I want you to sit at the table and eat your pasta. Or I can take it away but you will be hungry. Which one?). If they can't decide then say 'hurry or I will choose for you'. Leave some silent gaps then you can count down from five to give him some time to decide. Then do exactly what you said you would do but calmly. Give praise for a good choice. If at any point there is screaming/crying you could say 'I know you are upset but I'm trying to help you to make it better'. Other things that you can try are handing over to someone else if you are getting stressed, or using distraction techniques or changing the environment ie. putting your coat on and going for a quick walk, even if it's just the front garden to look for snails or doing something out of the ordinary such as getting the spices out of the kitchen drawer for a smell/taste. I have done a lot of research on behaviour management and these are all strategies professionals use in nurseries/schools but the important thing is to be consistent and try to avoid getting into the situations that cause him to kick off. HTH

Saila Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > www.ocado.com This was very funny. Thanks for a hearty laugh Saila. :))

If a child is screaming in Sainsbury's I just go up to them and ask them what the matter is. It guarantees perfect silence and usually a very brief chat with a parent relieved that someone is being sympathetic.

Fab David :)) It's just another example of how many people are intolerant of children. No wonder when they get a bit older they feel justified to go riot when society keeps telling them to shut-up and go away.

I don't let my children go out trick or treating and they are now teenagers, so, no I haven't caved in. I don't give out sweets so I do not have any double standards but if very small children come to the door I will comment on their costumes so they are not too disappointed. The one thing in particular I don't like is how some elderly people have been harassed by constant and persistent knocking. One year an elderly relative had flour and eggs thrown at her door which she then slipped on and badly hurt herself. I appreciate that users of this forum would not condone such behaviour but encouraging such an activity has some rather serious and unavoidable effects. I also don't think we give enough consideration to how very young children feel about the event. When my children were very young they were terrified of the ugly faces so I didn't open the door to the next set of callers but they persistently banged on the door which made my children even more upset. I've also had children come to play at my home after a week of trick or treating and tell me they feel safe at my house because "there is no ghosts here".

I've PMed you

My son always has problems with his ears when flying and he had problems this year as well. We use these lovely soft ear plugs: http://www.snorestore.co.uk/acatalog/childrens_putty_earplugs.html I wouldn't recommend holding the nose and blow as the pressure created can be very painful if you suffer when flying. The plugs are also great for swimming as well. They saved my holiday one year when my son got an ear infection and was told not to go swimming for two weeks, but he could with the plugs.

http://schools.tmg.daltonfirth.co.uk/results/ks4/2010/by/REGCODE.LEA/GL/210 Does anyone know if these are 2011?

There have been a lot of problems with the free hour entitlement because it usually costs private nurseries more than they actually get from the LA to provide it. Some nurseries have instead refused to offer it because of it.

the-e-dealer Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Who's word should take as true yours or someone > elses? Once we read anything here it becomes > second hand with no evidence Neither. I was suggesting that for such an important decision it might be worth your while making sure that your informant is right.

Hi e-dealer, Have you tried to check this out for yourself or are you just going to take someone else's word on it? It's my understanding that in the first year at Harris Boys they recruited some primary school teachers to help those who were struggling with KS3. I think that's quite innovative rather than old-fashioned.

The main problems I've found tend to be when they have different inset days or when events clash and we have to be in two places at the same time. However, as they get older it seems to become less of a problem than when we had children at primary and one at secondary. Also, no possibility of hand-me downs either. However, I think they do like the fact they don't have to travel together to school and that their style is cramped by a sibling.

Peckhamgatecrasher Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > As it happens BB, she ended up at Grey Coats. > Wasn't bothered about music at all. I just think > she has an exceptionally good 'ear'. The rain was refreshing though.

Peckhamgatecrasher Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Sorry to rain on your parade, but it's not that > remarkable. My daughter sat the test at Askes and > auditioned at Prendergast where she was accepted. > > She doesn't read a note of music and her audition > piece was her own composition on an African drum > that we borrowed. Fabulous Peckhamgatecrasher - a lovely experience to hear for once :))(tu) I take it she didn't get into Aske's though. ;-) Mrs TP, I was exactly like you telling myself I wouldn't fret about it but it was very difficult not to feel physically sick about the whole thing. Then when my first child actually started school it didn't turn out to be what my child expected. My child was very disappointed. After going to a lovely primary school with outstanding teachers the behaviour of the children in secondary came as a big shock to my child. So taking Grammar (which feels like taking a social experiment with my children) was not for the education or elitism but in the hope that the behaviour would be better, which I can confidently say certainly is. I just wish I had given my other children the same opportunity to not have their education disrupted by children who are not ready to learn.

Renata Hamvas Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I do know an ED child who is in Aske's after not > having any music lessons whatsoever and being > accepted after singing at the audition, so it can > be done! > Renata But the fact that the news has reached you and you are telling us about it demonstrates how remarkable a feat it is.

My mother used to regularly complain when I wiped my nose with toilet paper telling me I should use tissues. But she never bought any tissues and I never thought to tell her that.

And impatient people that always have their Oyster card/security pass ready and try to railroad you :-S

Mine are the same and get very sweaty and vinegar smelling pillows very quickly. They are teenagers now so maybe they don't.

...and another thing. How come a group of children from just one primary school who had been coached for the tests by one music teacher all got into Askes together a couple of years ago, if it's on natural talent?

rachel83 Wrote: -------------------------------------------------------> > It is nothing like the X-Factor. The test is a > multiple choice written test conducted in complete > silence with just a room full of kids at desks > with their answer sheets and the test is played on > a CD. That is just the first stage. If they get through to seeing Simon..sorry I mean the second stage where you have to play your chosen instrument in front of a panel and then there are the tears that follow when they don't get in, sounds very familiar to me. > Renata is right that kids that have not had any > formal music lessons before may apply for the test > and may well pass. At the audition, they can > choose to sing, and if successful, will receive > free or heavily subsidised music lessons. May possibly be the case for Kingsdale but I don't know any Aske's child who got in on music scholarship without prior lessons, even singing lessons. Does anyone? And yes the Grammar schools in Sutton are open to everyone where ever you live. One of my children goes to a grammar in Sutton - it's a 40 minute journey door to door. My child wasn't tutored and didn't go to a private primary so it is possible to get in purely on academic ability and a state primary ed.

I doubt I would have used the service you describe but I would have paid any price for someone to bring me a decent meal and some snacks when I was in hospital after the birth and for someone to bring me a few things, one of them being a camera because mine decided to stop working after 10 years on the day he was born. Hospitals probably wouldn't allow you to do a service through them but giving out flyers to pregnant mums and then when they call you you would become an invited visitor to the hospital I guess. All the best for your new venture.

I've used a company called Allied Remedials who seem to have been going for many years. When I had 5 quotes they were also the cheapest and the most honest as well.