randombloke

Have to agree, went there this morning on my usual trip to the excellent Sopers fishmongers and had a very nice Latte. Nice people, were't aware of this thread. Good selection of breads and cheese and as has been said, wine and nice olive oil in barrels. Life outside Lordship Lane? Surely not...

Glad you are OK Rose, diesel is a nightmare on a damp day. Looked out of our flat on Overhaill at 1:00pm and said to Mrs Randombloke (who's been a biker for 30 odd years) glad I'm not on the bike today. I'll keep an eye out for that when I ride to work tomorrow morning and turn into Dunstans Rd. Same thing happened to me on Old Kent Rd 6 weeks ago, hit a patch of diesel at 15 mph and dropped the bike, smashed the headlamp, bent the footpeg and twisted the handlebars. Saved by a decent jacket, armoured trousers and good boots and gloves. Just a few bruises and having binned a 500cc whilst practising emergency stops for the DAS Mod 1 2 weeks before I am convinced good gear is really crucial. Well done to the people who helped.

OP. That's a well-constructed and erudite argument. I don't entirely agree with everything that you say but well done for saying it. It's been said before in this thread but all of this seems to me to boil down to a lack of discipline and a lack of good role models. Tragically, all the people I saw hoodied up on Monday on Peckham Rye were male Afro-Caribbean youths, and it was the same in Stratford where a Pakistani collegue commented exactly the same thing. Of course in other areas it could well have been WASPS or any other colour, ethnicity or nationality. Is that a function of the predominant ethnicity of Peckham, or a function of the disaffectation of the young men of that postcode? There are people better qualified to comment on that than I. It is too easy to shout "bring in the Army", "bring back National Service", "bring back lynching". What we need is to bring back individual responsibility and accountability. We need kids to recognise the wisdom of their elders and to learn self-control. And, as difficult as it is to say we need structure and discipline. I went to a progressive junior school back in the early 70s. I learned the square root of F*ck all there and without my mother's loving care and tutoring probably wouldn't have achieved a great deal. She taught me to read, to write, to do maths and to express myself. My dad was away working but he too showed interest whenever he was at home. They were great role-models. My junior school teachers were wetter than an October Monday afternoon in Manchester. Useless and dished out no discipline whatsoever. I had a rude shock going to Grammar School. I learned to stand up and show respect when a mortar boarded teacher came in. Would it work now? I doubt it. I learned discipline in the Army. But I learned right and wrong from both my parents. I hope I have instilled the same in my son. Kids are entitled to make mistakes, I did. My son did. Some of the "rioters" did. I'm lazy, I procrastinate, I don't always do what I should but I don't go out nicking things when I could easily have joined in as I rode through Peckham on Monday night on a motorbike, helmet on: difficult to see my face, but I didn't because I know right from wrong. But there is now a lawless hardcore that have no positive role-models. They fear no consequences. They have no self-control and no self-discipline and when discipline is imposed upon them they fight back viciously. For those few perhaps there is no soft response. A while ago I sat incandescent with anger at a no more than 12 year old child who refused to get off a 63 bus when instructed to do so by the driver because his bus pass wasn't valid. An entire bus full of adults were inconvenienced by this idiot because "I have an exam to go to". Reasoning didn't work, cajoling didn't work. The driver refusing to move the bus causing about 60 people to be late for work didn't work. To my shame it ended up with me losing my temper and screaming at him, and still he didn't move. He knew we were all impotent as he was a minor and had I done what I wanted to and physically picked him up and thrown him off I'd have been prosecuted. THAT's where we are wrong when a 12 year old can dumbly sit there and have no compunction in blanking a whole bus full of adults. If I were 6ft5,20 stone shaven headed Outlaw gang-member biker (and I know a couple) he'd have moved. But I'm just a 5ft7, 11 stone middle aged bloke in a suit and I feared the legal consequences of taking positive physical action. 30 years ago as a 19 year old in the Army I'd have kicked his arse off the bus irrespective of the consequences. Whether that is a function of age and experience, or the changes in the law and fear of the legal repercussions I don't know. But when law-abiding citizens such as the vast majority are controlled by the lawless minority it is time for something radical to change. I don't know what the answer is but I am sure the original poster is on to something with the argument that the answer is with the silent majority, not the imbeciles for whom "t'ieving trainers from footlocker" makes them feel like a big man. Perhaps we needed 24 blokes with pixelated faces from a small Army unit based in Hereford putting their pints down, popping out of the pub onto the street and requesting politely that the rioters put down their petrol bombs and going home. Oh sorry, they are all in Afghanistan. But they have discipline, self-esteem and are accountable. I'm also damned sure they would have stopped all the rioting in about 2 minutes, armed or not. So, a hard fist in a velvet glove seems to be a phrase I heard somewhere once. Punish the hardcore and show them no mercy but show lightness of touch with the wayward ones who acted out of character. And, somehow re-connect the disaffected "yoot" with their elders and hope they learn from them. Yoda, where are you when we need you?

Came through Old Kent Rd on my motorbike tonight, went to Asda on Old Kent Rd: that was closed, then Morrisons - that was closed and pallets up in the doorways. Dog Kennel Hill Sainsburys closed. Tesco metro shut at the end of Rye Lane. Lots of afro-caribbean kids on mobile phones wearing hoodies looking furtive near where the road splits around the Rye and goes into the little one way system, I glanced at one and he was definitely up to no good-the armed forces call it "aware" - he was definitely that . A definite feeling of tension about the place. This is very redolent of Toxteth back in 1982 which I remember as I lived nearby. It's definitely co-ordinated- nothing to do with peaceful protest-all to do with anarchy. Can see flames near Rye Lane from our flat in Overhill Rd. Two helicopters about 15 mins ago and another other north east London. This IS London not Londonderry, isn't it?

An interesting topic Deliah. Surely the most important point is finding sane and sorted people with a similar view to yourself. The difficulty is that few people are emotionally mature enough to deal with the conflicting feelings a close relationship engenders if that relationship is not an exclusive one. From previous personal experience (I'm now in a wonderful exclusive loving relationship) I can say that if you have multiple long lasting FB relationships, it is very likely that it will result in one of the parties in one of the pairings investing more in that relationship than the other. Hopefully you will be lucky and be able to find not just one, but more than one person capable of doing that. Bearing in mind that you may find that you are the one that can't cope yourself. Good luck

Emva Cream Sherry: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbgwXFbTudk&feature=related Lutomer Laski Riesling Barley Wine Asbach or Fundador Brandy Campari Mateus Rose Watneys Red Barrel Liebfraumilch Taboo Whatever happened to German wines? As they used to ask for when I worked in Oddbins in Liverpool in 1985, "Ay mate, have you got any of dat der table wine, how do you say it? Liefbrau, liebfro, leeben?" We'd reply "I think sir is requesting the Bernkasteler K?rfustlay Gewurztraminer Trockenbeerenauslese Qualit?tswein mit Pradikat perhaps?" "No? Niersteiner Gutes Domtal, Qualitatswein bestimmter Anbaugebeit?", "Tafelwein then sir?" "Yeah, darrel do." "Not red or white wine sir?" "How about Black or Blue then?" "What do you mean mate are you taking the P*ss like?" "No sir, I merely meant Black Tower or Blue Nun?" A little cruel in hindsight, but funny at the time.

I'd forgotten I'd started this thread 12 months or so ago. Perhaps this should be the last word? http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/clips/p008xy8j/mongrels_scott_mills/ Like, quality.

Just sat watching this and thinking, damn, we are lucky to have such a good hospital locally. I spent 10 years selling high value medical devices so I know hospitals, nurses , consultants and theatres. I've recently had to go to A&E at Kings for a fractured scaphoid and they have been fantastic. Seen quickly, dealt with efficiently and politely. 90 mins in Cas on a Saturday, in to see the Orthopaedic Consultant at fracture clinic the Monday afterwards, 7 x rays, sent for an MRI the following Thursday and follow up next week. That's as fast as BUPA. To the guy with the hurty knee on the TV now, whingeing to anyone who can listen, man up and grow a pair. A broken heart? you prat, the guy next door has an aortic aneurism, that really is a broken heart and you have a bit of an ache in your leg you tosser. We might malign the NHS but they are as good as it gets at Kings. So, peeps big them up, they deserve it.

On Overhill Rd, we get the first flight of the morning from Singapore going directly over the roof at about 5:00am. Sometimes it wakes me up, sometimes it doesn't. It IS noisy. But it's nowhere near as noisy as it was when I lived in Ealing. Trust me, a fully laden 747 taking off makes a LOT more noise, and indeed vibration than one coming in to land depleted of fuel and on final approach. Plus on certain days they were taking off every 90 seconds or so. I agree we have the right to complain, but we'd also be the first to gripe about not having decent transport links as well. It's one of those black or white issues, you are either bothered or you aren't. We pay the price of living near the busiest airport in the world. Back home in Yorkshire, rather than complain they all go out and point at the tin tube with wings in the sky. So long as the angle of approach isn't 90 degrees over SE22 I guess I'll put up with it. UNLESS they start doing 24 hour flights, now that would be a different matter.

We get the first flight of the morning from Singapore going directly over the roof at about 5:00am. Sometimes it wakes me up, sometimes it doesn't. It IS noisy. But it's nowhere near as noisy as it was when I lived in Ealing. Trust me, a fully laden 747 taking off directly over your building which wasn't on a hill like the current one, makes a LOT more noise, and indeed vibration than one coming in to land depleted of fuel and on final approach. Plus on certain days they were taking off every 90 seconds or so. I agree we have the right to complain, but we'd also be the first to gripe about not having decent transport links as well. It's one of those black or white issues, you are either bothered or you aren't. We pay the price of living near the busiest airport in the world. Back home in Yorkshire, rather than complain they all go out and point at the tin tube with wings in the sky. So long as the angle of approach isn't 90 degrees over SE22 I guess I'll put up with it. UNLESS they start doing 24 hour flights, now that would be a different matter.

Brickie builder type bloke. "It's all over if my jus goes Pete Tong" or similar. Just a wonderful juxtaposition. If he wins he can then say to his mates: "Right fellows let's celebrate with a Peach Dacquiri, 'AVE IT..."

Or a motorbike or moped of course. Overhill Rd to Finsbury Circus takes about 35-40 minutes, 45 minutes in bad traffic.

Try this, copied from here : Having just bought a copy of Massive Attack's new CD, I eagerly placed it into my Mac to listen to it. No go. Copy controlled. No problem if you're on a PC - you can fire up the Windows Media Player that's included on the CD. Shame they didn't consider Mac users also buy CD's. I found that if you get info for the first track on the CD in iTunes, and choose a start time of 0:10 (10 seconds into the first track) it will then happily rip the whole CD. I can live with missing the first ten seconds of a copy controlled CD if it means I don't have to be swapping CD's in and out of my mac if I want to listen to my legally purchased music as I work. That'll teach them for ignoring Mac users! Alternatively get it copied onto a memory stick by a PC user.

Surely the longer you let something like this fester the worse it will become. Rational discussion hasn't worked either between the OP and MIL or Husband and MIL. There's clearly some sort of mismatch in expectations and communication. If this were in a different situation such as a dispute between work colleagues the standard approach would be for the OP to explain to MIL how MILs "emotional and unpredictable" (couched in less confrontational terms) behaviour is making the OP feel. Perhaps a letter from OP to MIL starting with a sincere desire to return to relationship enjoyed before the children arrived but that it can't continue like this might work. MIL must be allowed to respond with her side of the equation to allow a balance to be struck. Surely the important point is that it would be in nobody's interest for the relationship to either continue as it is or to deteriorate even further. Something has to give. Only Gussy knows what she feels comfortable with and what might work for her and her family. Eric Berne's PAC model might well apply: here

If, under the terms of the lease it's a fire hazard then ask for a health and safety inspection by the council. Let them do the dirty work in getting it removed, and if asked, deny all knowledge. Or set fire to it ;-)

As a recently qualified life coach I coached someone with a similar issue during my case studies. I learned that you can't control the actions of others. All you can control is your response to their actions. If you chose to seek professional help there are lots of available therapies, these are some of your choices: ? Psychotherapy is involved in healing and making someone whole after deep, psychological problems. ? Counselling is concerned with resolving traumatic incidents in the past, of learning their causes and healing. ? Mentoring is where someone experienced in a similar situation guides and supports you through the problem. ? Life coaching is geared towards helping you to discover your own solutions to the issues. Gussy, do you want to come up with the solution yourself or do you want someone to tell you what to do? Coaching tends to focus more on the outcome and options rather than the reality of the current situation. Conselling tends to look at the reasons for the current situation. Mentoring might work if you want specific directions as to what to do. I'm pretty sure that just having time to talk about it without being interrupted will be a great help in and of itself. If you opted for coaching you would probably be taken through the T.G.R.O.W model: Topic Goal Reality Options What will you do and be asked questions such as these: What would be the ideal result? What do you really want? When would you like this to happen? What would you tell yourself about this situation if you were looking back on it in 25 years time? Whatever you decide, be it informal such as this forum or seeing a professional whatever method you chose it has to be right for you. If you seek advice you can be sure that it will all be confidential, geared towards your specific problem and any bona fide practitioner in any discipline will be absolutely objective. Good luck.

This was on TV on BBC London regional news bulletin yesterday evening.

Curmudgeon We are next door to Dawsons Heights and we had plenty of ppl in our car park watching, There were lots at the Heights by the sound of it. Why not just come up next year and see for yourself, it's far better than on the TV as you get all the acoustic shock waves etc. They were much better than last years, a full 10 minutes' worth.

Most firms have a "reasonable usage" policy regarding their IT equipment. This means they reserve the right to monitor which sites you visit on their equipment as it remains the property of the firm and they have the right to know what that equipment is used for. This may include social networking sites such as Facebook, Bebo, Myspace, Twitter etc. However, as this is on a home computer it is unlikely that they have the right to tell you who you may chose as a friend on such sites unless your actions bring the firm into disrepute or are not compatible with your continued employment with the firm. If you were to publicly criticise the firm or any of its employees, particularly by name, that could well come under the policy. Unless your ex-colleague did something heinous then it seems rather heavy-handed and intrusive of them to say the least. If you had a known terrorist as a friend or a person who the firm categorised as being injurious to their business then then that might be regarded as an infringement of your contract of employment, eg: an animal rights protester if you worked for a pharmaceutical company. Why not just make your account private? A recent case in the US involved a private message on Facebook, and if memory serves the company were told to mind their own business.

To LittleEDfamily and Saila: thank you for the lovely comments. LittleEDfamily glad you are so happy, as am I with my new partner. My ex is now happy with her new partner and our son asked us all to go out to dinner with him for his 21st, it was a fun evening and he was happy to see both his parents happy. As men we don't mean to be selfish and ignorant, we just see things differently, we are programmed to be hunter gatherers. What is interesting to me as the parent of a new adult is that when he moved out of the marital home it took his mum a long time to get used to the idea of him not needing her help and advice. In fact, if anything he talked to me more than to her. I had to remind him that she had sacrificed a lot to get him to University and that she deserved to be kept informed of what he was up to. She complained that he no longer needed her input, and this from the same person who complained that she had given up her career to look after him as a toddler,(she has since become a highly successful businesswoman, whilst effectively bringing him up on her own from the age of 13). It seems kids have you over two barrels not one. But I've learned recently whilst studying for a diploma in life-coaching that kids are both our biggest headache and our biggest reward. I have heard so many people say the same things. We all doubt, we all struggle with moral issues, we all laugh and cry in equal measure. I guess that's life. But let me ask you all this, when you are old and grey, would you change anything? And if today you are overwhelmed with crying children, dirty laundry, lazy partners and coughs and snuffles, when you watch your child do something amazing, like my son recognising that his mother needed closure and the way to best way to do that was to host his 21st birthday dinner so that I could see her happy and she could move on, or saying "Dad I think I'll spend this Christmas with Grandma so she's not on her own and it leaves mum and her new man alone to share their first Christmas", then well, does it REALLY matter? It's called parenthood and guess what? Your parents went through it, you are gong through it and your children will as well, no matter what race, creed, background or colour. My dad never saw his grandson, and when he was little I used to berate myself for saying the same things my dad did, but I can think of no better endorsement of what I was doing as a parent than to feel my fathers guiding hand and to speak his words to my own son. Whilst it's exhausting and frustrating don't forget it's still the best journey you will ever take.

Michel Roux Snr was suggesting Sprouts with orange juice on Saturday kitchen confusingly last Friday.

Is she colicky? If so, maybe an osteopath could help, especially one trained in cranial techniques. The Vale practice are pretty good. And no I have no allegiance to them, my partner is an osteopath but practices in the city and in Kent.

This is my first post in the family room. To a nearly 50 year old male some of the topics have been rather alarming to say the least, discussing such subjects as potty training, sore nipples etc. However, I had to laugh at the some of the posts before it degenerated as so many topics often do. Tragically, I'd probably transgressed as much as some of the OHs. What's different now to when my son was growing up (he's 21) is that people can use the internet to get information, or to let off a bit of frustration. Back in 1990 the only sources of information were other new parents or your own family. My dad would have been entirely useless changing a nappy, it just wasn't the done thing in his day. I can remember my wife crying with frustration that she couldn't get him to latch on and me having to console her whilst making his bottle. I used to do the night feeds and getting up at 3 am watching American football as he had his bottle. It created a bond with him that exists to this day. Reading all the posts makes me feel guilty that I indavertantly took her for granted too often and didn't pull my weight, no wonder she divorced me! As a gender we blokes do have it easy, we don't notice things, we are lazy and we do cherry pick what we want to be involved with. When we have a cold it IS the end of the world. But we do get more involved than our forefathers. In the long run though it does work out, eventually the children become more independant and mums, you do get your life back. Humour is often the best medicine for all the ills described above and my son never once complained when I sent him out chimney sweeping as a 6 year old, he knew he'd get the strap if he did ;-)

Many years ago (1984 to be precise) I worked for Oddbins and I recall our policy of charging a princely 3p for a carrier bag would cause all kinds of apoplexy in some customers. We used to get all the "I'm giving you free advertising, it's bad for the environment, I've just spent ?40 on Scotch and you charge me 3p for a bag you could give away" argument etc. We turned bags inside out, gave away paper bags that were useless, shockingly overrang a purchase by 3p etc etc, the whole thing drove us mad. I can see both sides of the argument here but dirty washing should be washed in private IMHO. A private dialogue often obviates the need for a public slanging match. Whilst I was there I was told that it was illegal to sell alcohol to the off-trade unless it was wrapped up or carried in a container, hence the tissue paper wrapper. I don't know if that is still true but that's the reason why.

Old saying I heard in the Army whilst at Sandhurst in 1980: When Jerry was shooting the Tommies ducked; When the Tommies were shooting the Jerries ducked; When the Yanks were shooting everybody ducked. One wonders if it still holds true? Suffice to say that all the American Forces I saw were too gung ho for words. They may well be professional now, but having met a recently retired US Army Colonel a couple of years ago who insisted the Gherkin was a Torpedo, ("Well if you ask a taxi driver to take you to the Torpedo, he'll look at you like you are an idiot, it's called the Gherkin", "It looks like a Torpedo I'll call it that")(whispered aside to partner "Jesus I'd have had to salute you when I was in, you total fuckwit, you may be a higher rank but you would never be my superior officer"), I doubt much has changed. She told another friend her new job with the US Govt was highly classified, so much so that she didn't have an address just a grid reference for her new office. "Oh" said friend, "what do you put that under in your Sat Nav then? "Highly secret base?" She failed to see the irony.