As keef asked. I make no promises that this is amusing and apologise for the length. Ok. So there's this chap in the desert (think he lives on Underhill, but for now, and for whatever reasons, he is in the desert). Anyways, this chap ain't doing to well, see, could do with some water otherwise he's a gonna (and who will look after Arian, his cat, if that happens). He's crawling along the dunes, the sun roasting what little flesh he has left on his blistered face when, on the horizon, he sees......A tent! he crawls with speed, a renewed hope within, a new dawn (if you will) is possible. As he draws nearer he sees that is infact a small collection of about three tents, all with shop fronts. At this sight he screams 'I'm alive!! Thank god, I am alive.' He crawls up to the first of these shops and slowly raises himself onto the shop's counter. Gaily he says to the keeper of the shop, 'My good man, I have ten English pounds in my hand, please, would you be kind enough to let me have some water in exchange for it?' The shop keeper, looking down at this human wreck responds, 'Sir, I can provide you with almonds, and macaroons, and we also do sponges, but I am afraid we do not sell water.' Our intrepid explorer is slightly taken aback by this, falling off the counter and out of the shop. How, he asks to himself, 'can they not sell water. COME ON!! What market research did they do, they clearly have no idea of their customer base'. Still, not to worry, he thought, there are two other shops, they can't all be planning on going bankrupt quite so quickly. So to the second shop he goes, weary and tired, but confident he'll find water. Again he asks, and again, the shop keeper responds..... 'My friend, water? Oh, how I would like to be able to sell you water. By the gods, I would be a happy man if that were possible. But I am afraid you ask of me something that I cannot do. You see sir, we are a fruit shop, a purveyor of the freshest fruit. Raspberries, strawberries, fruit I can sell you, but water..... F***** B******* our man thinks to himself. In the middle of the desert and no F****** water. What the F*** are they F****** thinking. He remembers to breath. With not much left in the tanks, as the sun reaches its midday crescendo he use what little energy he has left to get to the third and final shop. Says he 'Look 'ere mate, these two plonkers (he has lost some of his charm by this point) 'ave no water. Please, give me water. You MUST have some water, for crying out loud, who the hell would put a shop in the desert that doesn't sell water!!!' 'Sir' the final shop keeper replies. 'I can offer our freshest cream. I can offer you custard and I can offer you our finest imported sherry, but I am sorry, I cannot offer water, as we do not stock it.' 'Whaaaaat!!!!' Our man screams, the last of his life fading, 'Sir. I am sorry, I'm afraid that this is a trifle bazaar........ I thank you :))
