I don?t know you at all; but I was moved by your post and would like to thank you for the care and dedication you?ve shown to someone outside your own family, someone you could easily have turned your back on (as it seems others have). As someone with a chronic illness, I am deeply troubled by society?s drift towards accepting assisted suicide; but I would still echo what others have said here - please do try to somehow find the courage to make one last visit. It wouldn?t be condoning her decision, but rather honouring the way you have mattered in each other?s lives. This is bound to be a strange and painful time, but I can?t help feeling it would be much worse for you if you simply didn?t see her again...then it really would be like the ?sick budgie going off to the vet? scenario that you describe. Whereas by sharing a last visit, you would be acknowledging your shared humanity. If you do go to see her, the hardest part may well be walking across the threshold on the way in...and then on the way out again. Perhaps someone (your husband, or a friend) could come with you to her street and then either wait outside or at any rate meet you straight afterwards? While you are actually with her, it may well be fine ? you will be your familiar selves to each other; you may not even talk about The Matter In Hand as she may not want to, preferring everyday trivialities as light relief. Or she may have things of her own she has decided to say. Either way, the onus is not all on you to come up with the ?right things to say? because there are no right things to say in such a situation. Please don?t let the feeling that you must have some kind of speech prepared put you off going to see her. Just go ? just go in there and be with her a while. Whatever happens, you have nothing to reproach yourself for. You mention appearing cowardly ? not at all: you seem like a brave person in a tough situation. This is the hard stuff of life and many people don?t dirty their hands with it ? it?s admirable that you do. Good luck.