smith

Day do doh don't day doh eh (oldie but good, Liverpudlian accent required)

Neither a lender nor a borrower be. (all my contributions are best expressed in a dour northern accent)

You don't look at the mantelpiece when you're stoking the fire (apparently!)

Up and down like a June bride's nightgown (in response to the enquiry "how are you?")

Rough as a bag of chisels

Some northern expressions, I believe: I could eat a scabby dog between two mattresses She's got a rate set of top bollocks

Warren!

At 5.30 on a dim Monday evening a sparkling red sounds just the thing to perk up the palette... one down, four to go (days that is, not bottles). I'll look out for it.

There was a young man from Honor Oak...

hmmm... let's review the clues: too tight to eat out recently purchased a small flat in ED hides behind his 'missus' is jealous of keef's sausage I bet someone on this forum knows who lurks beneath the cloak?

Just before he did the deed he phoned his friend and asked him to "pop round in 15 minutes". When the friend entered the unlocked front door he came face to face with a large hand-written sign saying "PATIO" with an arrow pointing in that general direction.

Glad it all worked out ok in the end mockney piers. Sounds like my kind of Christmas! A poor unfortunate friend of mine had to deal with the aftermath of his friend's quick 'exit' after the friend's computer was seized during police investigations...

Hitler?

Without wanting to bring the whole day down... I cited 'cowardice' because people can't always face the consequence of their actions eg Fred West (one name that springs to mind). Again, I'm not saying that this person was culpable in any way, just that there are more reasons than depression for choosing this course of action.

There are more reasons than depression that people choose this route - guilt and cowardice being just two. Not at all saying this is what's happened in this sad incident, but identifying with spadetownboy's comments.

I didn't see these particular sightings... but on 7 July between 7.15 and 7.30pm I saw something very similar from Wandsworth Common. They were 3 bright white lights. There were lots of people about but noone else seemed to notice. I pointed them out to another dog-walker who was equally mystified. The lights didn't fade but seemed to just get higher, going vertically up in a straight line until they disappeared. I looked at various UFO websites... and told quite a few people. I found a few reported sightings that were described as orange and subsequently explained as Chinese lanterns... but that's definitely not what I saw!

The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver - only a few chapters in, but unputdownable.

His face?

A journey from North London to ED deserves at least one g&t... served with a twist of lime and three ice cubes... it is Friday after all! Hope your route isn't too flooded, or if it is that the current's in your direction.

Sorry! I was a bit quick off the mark... but since it's the main drawback to ED... I couldn't resist. Sorry...

Last time I checked there were no tubes running to ED... guess the bus will have to do instead!

The sun is out, the pavements are steaming... it's all over.

oops sorry, should've read it all before commenting! It's already been done.

Perhaps she was talking about Rye Lane? An elderly neighbour of mine who'd lived in ED all her life used to talk about going down 'the Lane' when she meant Rye Lane as that's where all the 'quality' shops used to be? Just a thought... Lordship Lane as 'the Lane' sounds far too pretentious and it's such a landmark and good starting point for giving directions. Just a thought...

Hilarious. I was just idl... I mean working away when I read Nero's response. Hilarious, now my colleagues will guess I'm not working from my shaking shoulders. Very funny. I had a few lessons at the Dulwich Riding stables. The horses are beautifully kept - it's brilliant as a school but not much fun. I also used to go the riding stables in Chelsfield - excellent, but sadly now moved away.