David Mc

Spoilsport. Having been deprived of the delights of fireworks throughout my childhood (there was a ban in Northern Ireland because of the "troubles"). They should be available to sensible adults only - which generally seems to be the case here now. Like fags and booze!

I'm sure I've read that some restaurants force their staff to lie about where the money goes! http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/tipping--waiters-restaurateurs-and-diners-join-the-debate-868567.html http://money.uk.msn.com/consumer/article.aspx?cp-documentid=8973594

Musicals don't have to be cheery to be good. Check out Parade by Jason Robert Brown. My favourite (or one of them)!

Ditto. David

Boring Shite - the most incredibly long and boring thread on any forum anywhere on the internet. Please create a separate long and boring shite thread room for stuff like this (and the word association game). PLEASE!

boring

Dressed up in a fire rooster's wig.

I've used it several times and didn't have any problems with the most recent one a couple of weeks ago.

I saw her maid (well I presume so because she was all dolled up in a maid's "uniform") washing the dishes when I walked past going to Denmark Hill Station this morning)... How many Camberwellites have maids?

I particularly like: "Make sure your answer uses Scripture, not logic."

Have a gander at some of the opinions expressed here!! Though it might be better off in the jokes section.... http://www.freethoughtpedia.com/wiki/Funny_theist_quotes

Most places leave the note out in view and only put it in the till when you've been given your change. Except in bars where the staff can't do mental arithmetic any more and have to run to the till to add up your drinks bill (sometimes after every drink they pour/pull), come back, announce the price, take your money, go back to the till to work out/get your change then bring it back to you on a little silver tray. When I worked in a bar I could add up in my head, which meant only one trip to the till.

On split infinitives (from Bill Bryson's excellent "Mother Tongue" book): ...English grammar is so complex and confusing for the one very simple reason that its rules and terminology are based on Latin - a language with which it has precious little in common. In Latin, to take one example, it is not possible to split an infinitive. So in English, the early authorities decided, it should not be possible to split an infinitive either. But there is no reason why we shouldn't, any more than we should forsake instant coffee and air travel because they weren't available to the Romans... ...Nothing illustrates the scope for prejudice in English more than the issue of a split infinitive. Some people feel ridiculously strongly about it. When the British Conservative politician Jock Bruce-Gardyne was economic secretary to the Treasury in the early 1980s, he returned unread any departmental correspondence containing a split infinitive. (It should perhaps be pointed out that a split infinitive is one in which an adverb comes between "to" and a verb, as in "to quickly look".) I can think of two very good reasons for not splitting an infinitive. 1. Because you feel that the rules of English ought to conform to the grammatical precepts of a language that died a thousand years ago. 2. Because you wish to cling to a pointless affectation of usage that is without the support of any recognised authority of the last 200 years, even at the cost of composing sentences that are ambiguous, inelegant and patently contorted. It is exceedingly difficult to find any authority who condemns the split infinitive - Theodore Bernstein, H. W. Fowler, Ernest Gowers, Eric Partridge, Rudolph Flesch, Wilson Follett, Roy H. Copperud, and others too tedious to enumerate here all agree that there is no logical reason not to split an infinitive. Otto Jespersen even suggests that, strictly speaking, it isn't actually possible to split an infinitive. As he puts it: '"To"...is no more an essential part of an infinitive than the definite article is an essential part of a nominative, and no one would think of calling "the good man" a split nominative.' Separate thread called "Grammar School" anyone?! :-S

Like "here, here"?! Edited to say this was a reponse to the last post on page 1 before I realised there was a page 2!

Maybe it's changed hands again. I've never had a problem there. Yes sometimes you do have to wait a bit, especially when it's busy, but we just bring some papers. The Bishop is often much worse.

You mean the search box that doesn't ever work properly? OK.

They have an order at the till policy. But I guess someone should have told you that! Don't let it put you off. Best greasy spoon in London as far as I'm concerned. Those chips. Yum.....

I was going to put poker on my list but forgot in the end - it was getting a bit late!!!

Sad to say, I've not been there yet even though it's about a 15 minute walk away. However, here are some recommendations based on my perceived sociodynamic profile of the local area. I think marketing types call this "demographics". I'm hoping to build a reputation (like Will Self did out of his pretentious and rather dull "Psychogeography") on the term "sociodynamics". Weekly, you have 14 (21 if you include breakfast) opportunities to cater for any of all of the following. Further suggestions welcome..... - Book Club Night (charge double for drinks if you get the author to attend) - Au-pair free-for-all afternoons. All childish behaviour acceptable. Damages payable by real owners of the children. All ages from 3-73 welcome. - Knitting Club Cocktails (free ball of wool matching the colour of drink you order) - Hypnosis Evening. With "DIY" or "get the barperson look into your eyes and forget to charge for the round" options in play - Scrabble/Chess/Bridge/Tantrix/Ker-Plunk/Drunken Operation/Hungry-Hippo Tournaments - Baby/Toddler Afternoon Tea - Live Music/Comedy/Karaoke Open-Mike Nights (prizes for the best and worst efforts with sweepstake voting) - Repaint The Mural Midnight Feasts (add copious quatities of absinthe to all drinks and food served before midnight) - Ready-Steady-Cook Farmers' Market Lunches - Gay Nights (take the bulbs out of the loos in the gents but invest in big signs disclaiming that the night will be sh!t in any way) - Women's Institute Evenings (preferably not on the same night as above unless vying for bi business) - Group "Letter to the Council" Drafting nights - Stone-baked Pizza cook-offs - My "cocktail has more alcohol than yours" taste-testing competitions - Plane-spotting afternoons (decibel meters optional) - ditto in the evenings for helicopters - 2-4-1 Drinks for all local estate agents. (1-4-2 drinks when Foxton's lights & screens are left on after closing) - Yard of Chardonnay (dilute with water on weekends) - Persuade the bouncer to let you in for a Penge stag/hen do on a Saturday night - Seance Nights - Random "Smoking-Permitted-Indoors-For-The-Next-20-Minutes" Sessions - "Chav or Celebrity Spotting" Sunday Roast (Jenny Eclair is still local and John Hannah wouldn't be doing Riflemind then, but if he's in rehearsals for any re-writes then that sofa-ad woman is probably available) - House Auction Night (could be incorporated into a clever rip-off of the ex-Mag's Hi-Lo card game) - Find the Giant Rabbit/Louisa/Turd-On-Doorstep-Man Treasure Hunt - The Wire on Wide-Screen HDTV Wednesdays - Order Your Drink in an Eastern-European Language Happy Hour (drinks free if you pull it off) - Calculate-The-Price-Of-Your-Round-And-Work-Out-Your Change-Before-The-Barperson-Does-It-On-The-Till Tuesdays - The "Who-Can-Get-The-Cheapest-Gym-Membership" challenge - Pin the name badge on the Forumite Forum Drinks - "Will Rent a Room for Post Code Lottery-Problem" Raffles. - etc. The Forum is a rich seam. Mine it. © 2008 David Mc.

And me. Unfortunately my OCD means I have to read them to make the red numbers disappear. Can't we have an "ignore thread" button to make them go away for ever?

Sorry Mogs - something's come up - I can't make it tomorrow now. Sorry.

Maybe my expectations are low, but I find Peckham's cinema just fine. Have never been bothered by noisy people or sticky floors and the fact that it's walking distance and relatively cheap makes it a decent option. Some screens in the West End are smaller and often more than twice the price.

A model. It's none of the staff at MGMP!

and blinds and that Polanski bloke.

Would some action men look out of place beside it?